Help! Players Not Learning the Game /u/Master-Car-5702 DnD: Roll for Initiative!

So, I’m not trying to come across as an asshole but how do I manage/help players who won’t learn the mechanics of the game but still want to play? For reference: We’re all entirely new to DnD besides my husband and myself who have played BG3. Because of the limited knowledge I had about DnD, everyone thought it would be a good idea for me to DM. It was fine, I enjoyed it for the most part, BUT 3 out of the 5 players never really caught on. One would play a bard, and I would set her up and interaction that included playing her instrument but she would just look confused and wait for someone to tell her what to do. I have one player who barely says or does anything the entire game. When it comes time for him to do something, like combat, he has no idea what to do and his girlfriend ends up doing everything for him. Now that my campaign is coming to an end, my husband will be DMing. He has watched as I’ve struggled to pull them into the game, and as they don’t make any effort to learn the game or their characters outside of our monthly session. It’s fine that they’re beginners,and we are more than happy to help, but we also want to see that they’re into it enough to learn on their own and implement that knowledge into the game. I put a lot of effort into creating a home brew campaign, and sometimes it feels like that energy or the “payoff” of having a party excited about playing and learning isn’t being reciprocated. My husband put out a text to our group chat going over new rules that he is planning to instate into his campaign. Like: keeping track of your own XP, knowing the mechanics of your character well, actually acting out what your character is doing instead of only asking to “make a _____ check”. The group read this and was not pleased, as they think he is asking too much of them. To us it just seems like they don’t want to do the extra work to learn the game. I’ve sent them multiple resources online, videos and cheat sheets, I’ve sat down with them personally to help them with character creation. I don’t know what to do, and I’m not sure if this is normal behavior for new players because I’m a new player myself? The difference it seems is that this is something I and my husband want to make a serious hobby, but for them it’s just a hangout? Do we need to find a new group or chill out? Please help :/

So, I’m not trying to come across as an asshole but how do I manage/help players who won’t learn the mechanics of the game but still want to play? For reference: We’re all entirely new to DnD besides my husband and myself who have played BG3. Because of the limited knowledge I had about DnD, everyone thought it would be a good idea for me to DM. It was fine, I enjoyed it for the most part, BUT 3 out of the 5 players never really caught on. One would play a bard, and I would set her up and interaction that included playing her instrument but she would just look confused and wait for someone to tell her what to do. I have one player who barely says or does anything the entire game. When it comes time for him to do something, like combat, he has no idea what to do and his girlfriend ends up doing everything for him. Now that my campaign is coming to an end, my husband will be DMing. He has watched as I’ve struggled to pull them into the game, and as they don’t make any effort to learn the game or their characters outside of our monthly session. It’s fine that they’re beginners,and we are more than happy to help, but we also want to see that they’re into it enough to learn on their own and implement that knowledge into the game. I put a lot of effort into creating a home brew campaign, and sometimes it feels like that energy or the “payoff” of having a party excited about playing and learning isn’t being reciprocated. My husband put out a text to our group chat going over new rules that he is planning to instate into his campaign. Like: keeping track of your own XP, knowing the mechanics of your character well, actually acting out what your character is doing instead of only asking to “make a _____ check”. The group read this and was not pleased, as they think he is asking too much of them. To us it just seems like they don’t want to do the extra work to learn the game. I’ve sent them multiple resources online, videos and cheat sheets, I’ve sat down with them personally to help them with character creation. I don’t know what to do, and I’m not sure if this is normal behavior for new players because I’m a new player myself? The difference it seems is that this is something I and my husband want to make a serious hobby, but for them it’s just a hangout? Do we need to find a new group or chill out? Please help :/