Does extra player dedication warrant special treatment from the DM? /u/KenKinV2 DnD: Roll for Initiative!

Hi all, I’m curious to hear your thoughts on this scenario. TL;DR: Should a player’s extra passion and involvement in a campaign warrant special treatment from the DM?

Our table has 5 players, and we’re all dedicated to the game. We show up consistently, are engaged during sessions, and overall have a pretty good group dynamic.

However, one player clearly goes above and beyond. They’re the archetypal “extreme note-taker” on steroids—constantly sending our DM long messages throughout the week about their character, the setting, plot theories, and more. Whenever I hang out with them, the game is all they want to talk about. I’m willing to bet that this player has more buyin to this campaign than the DM at this point.

Over the course of the campaign, it feels like their character has become the centerpiece of the story. Two arcs have already been heavily focused on them, and the current arc (which was initially supposed to be about another character) seems to be pivoting back to them as well. Meanwhile, three other PCs—including my own—haven’t had any major arcs or storylines centered on our characters.

Additionally, many NPCs—villains, allies, and companions—seem to revolve around this PC. Even during scenes where their character isn’t present, their name often comes up, like the Simpsons meme “-and when Poochie isn’t on the screen, all the other characters ask where’s Poochie?”

They’ve also gained a number of powerful items and abilities “because of the storyline,” such as the ability to fly and cast high-level smites—despite being a Drow cleric. There are frequent solo moments dedicated to their character, which feels disproportionate compared to the rest of us.

But honestly my level of care/annyoance on this varies from session to session. On one hand, this player is incredibly passionate and invested in the game, which understandably earns them the DM’s attention and rewards. On the other hand, it feels unfair to the rest of us who also care about the game but don’t have the same capacity to pour in this level of extra effort. For context, our group includes parents, a Ph.D. student, and myself (working a pretty strenuous 9–5). We’re engaged, but none of us have as much time to invest as this player, who has significantly more free time.

No one wants to feel like a side character in a collaborative story. One other player has openly expressed frustration about this dynamic to me but they have their own issues as a “problem player,” so I’m not sure how much weight to give their complaint.

I’m debating whether to bring this up with the DM. I hate to put someone down for being overtly passionate about D&D, but I also think it’s worth asking if this imbalance could be addressed.

Have any of you encountered a similar situation, either as a player or a DM? How did you handle it?

Hi all, I’m curious to hear your thoughts on this scenario. TL;DR: Should a player’s extra passion and involvement in a campaign warrant special treatment from the DM?

Our table has 5 players, and we’re all dedicated to the game. We show up consistently, are engaged during sessions, and overall have a pretty good group dynamic.

However, one player clearly goes above and beyond. They’re the archetypal “extreme note-taker” on steroids—constantly sending our DM long messages throughout the week about their character, the setting, plot theories, and more. Whenever I hang out with them, the game is all they want to talk about. I’m willing to bet that this player has more buyin to this campaign than the DM at this point.

Over the course of the campaign, it feels like their character has become the centerpiece of the story. Two arcs have already been heavily focused on them, and the current arc (which was initially supposed to be about another character) seems to be pivoting back to them as well. Meanwhile, three other PCs—including my own—haven’t had any major arcs or storylines centered on our characters.

Additionally, many NPCs—villains, allies, and companions—seem to revolve around this PC. Even during scenes where their character isn’t present, their name often comes up, like the Simpsons meme “-and when Poochie isn’t on the screen, all the other characters ask where’s Poochie?”

They’ve also gained a number of powerful items and abilities “because of the storyline,” such as the ability to fly and cast high-level smites—despite being a Drow cleric. There are frequent solo moments dedicated to their character, which feels disproportionate compared to the rest of us.

But honestly my level of care/annyoance on this varies from session to session. On one hand, this player is incredibly passionate and invested in the game, which understandably earns them the DM’s attention and rewards. On the other hand, it feels unfair to the rest of us who also care about the game but don’t have the same capacity to pour in this level of extra effort. For context, our group includes parents, a Ph.D. student, and myself (working a pretty strenuous 9–5). We’re engaged, but none of us have as much time to invest as this player, who has significantly more free time.

No one wants to feel like a side character in a collaborative story. One other player has openly expressed frustration about this dynamic to me but they have their own issues as a “problem player,” so I’m not sure how much weight to give their complaint.

I’m debating whether to bring this up with the DM. I hate to put someone down for being overtly passionate about D&D, but I also think it’s worth asking if this imbalance could be addressed.

Have any of you encountered a similar situation, either as a player or a DM? How did you handle it?