TLDR: My girlfriend loves me but seems to be settling for me sexually. I’m struggling with feeling like I’m not enough for her in bed and I don’t want to settle for someone that doesn’t think I’m that great in sex (even though that might be ego talking)
I need to vent about something that’s been weighing on me. My girlfriend and I have been together for a while, and while we have a strong emotional connection, I can’t shake the feeling that sexually, she’s settling for me. She’s told me we don’t have the kind of sexual chemistry where we naturally want the same things. Specifically, she sometimes misses being “fucked hard,” and while I’ve tried to meet her desires, we haven’t fully clicked in that dynamic. I end up losing my erection sometimes, which frustrates her, and now she doesn’t want to explore that side of sex with me anymore.
On top of that, there’s history I can’t ignore. Before we met, she was in a 9-year relationship and admitted to cheating on her partner because the sex got boring, though she told him immediately and said she regretted it. I try to believe her feelings for me are different, but it’s hard when things like this happen:
In our first month getting to know each other, we were already spending nights at her place and I was putting in the effort for her. During that time, I found out she was texting an ex-hookup—the kind who supposedly “fucked her hard” in the way she enjoys—trying to set up a time to sleep together. She said she didn’t go through with it because it felt wrong, and I’m sure she didn’t because this guy lives in another city overseas. I even saw their texts, so I know nothing physical happened. But still, the fact that she was trying while I was showing up for her makes me feel like I’ve never been enough sexually for her. We weren’t official yet when this happened, however, before I found out about this, she lied to me and told me she had never disrespected me, and I feel that is disrespectful to me. I even asked her how she would feel if it had been me doing that to her, and she said she would be furious
I love her, but I’m stuck. I want to be in a relationship where I feel like the one for my partner sexually and emotionally. Is that unrealistic? Is it selfish to want that when I know she loves me? I just feel like I’m always going to be less than what she really craves in bed, even if she says she is very happy with me and she loves me. Though if it weren’t for the love she wouldn’t enjoy our sex as it is now. I don’t know how to live with that.
submitted by /u/Mission-Voice-7517
[link] [comments]
r/sex TLDR: My girlfriend loves me but seems to be settling for me sexually. I’m struggling with feeling like I’m not enough for her in bed and I don’t want to settle for someone that doesn’t think I’m that great in sex (even though that might be ego talking) I need to vent about something that’s been weighing on me. My girlfriend and I have been together for a while, and while we have a strong emotional connection, I can’t shake the feeling that sexually, she’s settling for me. She’s told me we don’t have the kind of sexual chemistry where we naturally want the same things. Specifically, she sometimes misses being “fucked hard,” and while I’ve tried to meet her desires, we haven’t fully clicked in that dynamic. I end up losing my erection sometimes, which frustrates her, and now she doesn’t want to explore that side of sex with me anymore. On top of that, there’s history I can’t ignore. Before we met, she was in a 9-year relationship and admitted to cheating on her partner because the sex got boring, though she told him immediately and said she regretted it. I try to believe her feelings for me are different, but it’s hard when things like this happen: In our first month getting to know each other, we were already spending nights at her place and I was putting in the effort for her. During that time, I found out she was texting an ex-hookup—the kind who supposedly “fucked her hard” in the way she enjoys—trying to set up a time to sleep together. She said she didn’t go through with it because it felt wrong, and I’m sure she didn’t because this guy lives in another city overseas. I even saw their texts, so I know nothing physical happened. But still, the fact that she was trying while I was showing up for her makes me feel like I’ve never been enough sexually for her. We weren’t official yet when this happened, however, before I found out about this, she lied to me and told me she had never disrespected me, and I feel that is disrespectful to me. I even asked her how she would feel if it had been me doing that to her, and she said she would be furious I love her, but I’m stuck. I want to be in a relationship where I feel like the one for my partner sexually and emotionally. Is that unrealistic? Is it selfish to want that when I know she loves me? I just feel like I’m always going to be less than what she really craves in bed, even if she says she is very happy with me and she loves me. Though if it weren’t for the love she wouldn’t enjoy our sex as it is now. I don’t know how to live with that. submitted by /u/Mission-Voice-7517 [link] [comments]
TLDR: My girlfriend loves me but seems to be settling for me sexually. I’m struggling with feeling like I’m not enough for her in bed and I don’t want to settle for someone that doesn’t think I’m that great in sex (even though that might be ego talking)
I need to vent about something that’s been weighing on me. My girlfriend and I have been together for a while, and while we have a strong emotional connection, I can’t shake the feeling that sexually, she’s settling for me. She’s told me we don’t have the kind of sexual chemistry where we naturally want the same things. Specifically, she sometimes misses being “fucked hard,” and while I’ve tried to meet her desires, we haven’t fully clicked in that dynamic. I end up losing my erection sometimes, which frustrates her, and now she doesn’t want to explore that side of sex with me anymore.
On top of that, there’s history I can’t ignore. Before we met, she was in a 9-year relationship and admitted to cheating on her partner because the sex got boring, though she told him immediately and said she regretted it. I try to believe her feelings for me are different, but it’s hard when things like this happen:
In our first month getting to know each other, we were already spending nights at her place and I was putting in the effort for her. During that time, I found out she was texting an ex-hookup—the kind who supposedly “fucked her hard” in the way she enjoys—trying to set up a time to sleep together. She said she didn’t go through with it because it felt wrong, and I’m sure she didn’t because this guy lives in another city overseas. I even saw their texts, so I know nothing physical happened. But still, the fact that she was trying while I was showing up for her makes me feel like I’ve never been enough sexually for her. We weren’t official yet when this happened, however, before I found out about this, she lied to me and told me she had never disrespected me, and I feel that is disrespectful to me. I even asked her how she would feel if it had been me doing that to her, and she said she would be furious
I love her, but I’m stuck. I want to be in a relationship where I feel like the one for my partner sexually and emotionally. Is that unrealistic? Is it selfish to want that when I know she loves me? I just feel like I’m always going to be less than what she really craves in bed, even if she says she is very happy with me and she loves me. Though if it weren’t for the love she wouldn’t enjoy our sex as it is now. I don’t know how to live with that.
submitted by /u/Mission-Voice-7517
[link] [comments]