Struggling with feelings about my gf’s past—how do I handle this constructively? /u/secretlyilluminati Sex

Hi, I’ve been seeing my girlfriend for a little less than a year now. Lately, I’ve noticed some anxiety creeping in when I think about her sexual past. Sometimes she’ll say things like mentioning her crazy times in college and I feel my mood shift, even though she isn’t directly referencing her sexual experiences.

We haven’t talked in detail about our pasts, just broad strokes about prior relationships. For context, I’m 27 and had only been with an ex of many years up until 2 years ago. I’ve always viewed sex as something intimate and tied to emotional connection, so casual encounters have never been my thing. I don’t necessarily care that she’s been with other people, but the idea of her having casual experiences (which I’m not even sure about) makes me feel a little sad. I think these feelings come from a mix of insecurity and my own view of intimacy.

I want to work through this in a healthy way without being judgmental or making her feel bad about her past. I respect her autonomy and experiences and don’t want to come across as controlling or unfair. Should I bring this up with her at some point, or is this something I need to process on my own? If I do bring it up, how can I communicate my feelings in a way that’s non-judgmental and helps her understand where I’m coming from without making her uncomfortable or defensive?

Hi, I’ve been seeing my girlfriend for a little less than a year now. Lately, I’ve noticed some anxiety creeping in when I think about her sexual past. Sometimes she’ll say things like mentioning her crazy times in college and I feel my mood shift, even though she isn’t directly referencing her sexual experiences.

We haven’t talked in detail about our pasts, just broad strokes about prior relationships. For context, I’m 27 and had only been with an ex of many years up until 2 years ago. I’ve always viewed sex as something intimate and tied to emotional connection, so casual encounters have never been my thing. I don’t necessarily care that she’s been with other people, but the idea of her having casual experiences (which I’m not even sure about) makes me feel a little sad. I think these feelings come from a mix of insecurity and my own view of intimacy.

I want to work through this in a healthy way without being judgmental or making her feel bad about her past. I respect her autonomy and experiences and don’t want to come across as controlling or unfair. Should I bring this up with her at some point, or is this something I need to process on my own? If I do bring it up, how can I communicate my feelings in a way that’s non-judgmental and helps her understand where I’m coming from without making her uncomfortable or defensive?