I don’t know what’s wrong with me and it is kinda embarassing for me. /u/QuantumSonu Sex

Read it till the end cause I’m writing everything in detail.

So, for the first time I had any sexual experience was in 2019 with my then ex. Everything was good or even amazing back then, didn’t have any issues.

Now, fast forward to 2023, after moving on from my breakup, I tried to do paid sex just to explore what it was like. My first time experience was quite bad ngl. The girls were dead fish and I couldn’t get hard enough. I thought it was performance anxiety. So, I stopped doing it.

Then last year again tried to explore some kinks but the girls I met, some of them were good but due to some reason, I couldn’t get hard. It was likely a performance anxiety cause I get nervous whenever I meet anyone new. Met a girl in September and it was kinda good experience with her. I like oral sex so I went down on her and she also liked it. But when it came to penetrative sex, I couldn’t maintain my erection for long time. And even when it happened, it took so much time that I couldn’t ejaculate. So, I just masturbated.

Met her again yesterday and I was having the same issue again. I was jerking off thinking about her when I didn’t meet her but when I met her, I just felt relaxed and did cuddling and fingering with her and she gave me BJ. But I wasn’t able to make my mood to do PIV sex even though I used to think about it. When I couldn’t finish, I asked her to kiss and I was jerking off and after few mins, I ejaculated easily cause I was thinking of her only.

Now, even when she was sucking me, I couldn’t get hard properly and even though I like it initially, after few mins, I lost my erection. When I was licking her and engaged in foreplay, I was hard but when I or she put on the condom, I began to lose erection and she kept asking me what I was thinking and I told her due to some reason I wasn’t feeling that much horny and my mind kept thinking that she’s not my girlfriend and I’m doing sex with a stranger. This thought comes in my mind everytime I meet any girl and I can’t get it out of my head even though I want to enjoy the present moment.

I tried not masturbating for 10 days but then I wasn’t able to get hard cause I wasn’t feeling horny enough. I also tried not watching porn that time but even that didn’t help much. I think maybe I have become insensitive to the sensation of anything other than my hand which is why when I touch myself, I am able to maintain erection when I masturbate but not when I’m engaging with someone else. Or maybe I like emotional intimacy first which is why I was not able to focus in that moment but that girl suggested me to see a doctor.

I don’t smoke, not even drink that much just once or twice in a year, take proper sleep, eat homemade food only so I don’t know how it is due to my lifestyle and sometimes I think it is due to my overthinking brain and insensitivity due to porn and masturbation which is why I’m having kind of psychological ED.

All these bad experiences keep coming in my mind whenever I meet someone and that adds to the list.

I’ll meet my FwBs most likely this year in upcoming months and I don’t want to have these issues with them cause it will be both frustrating and embarassing for me. So, please suggest what should I do?

Read it till the end cause I’m writing everything in detail.

So, for the first time I had any sexual experience was in 2019 with my then ex. Everything was good or even amazing back then, didn’t have any issues.

Now, fast forward to 2023, after moving on from my breakup, I tried to do paid sex just to explore what it was like. My first time experience was quite bad ngl. The girls were dead fish and I couldn’t get hard enough. I thought it was performance anxiety. So, I stopped doing it.

Then last year again tried to explore some kinks but the girls I met, some of them were good but due to some reason, I couldn’t get hard. It was likely a performance anxiety cause I get nervous whenever I meet anyone new. Met a girl in September and it was kinda good experience with her. I like oral sex so I went down on her and she also liked it. But when it came to penetrative sex, I couldn’t maintain my erection for long time. And even when it happened, it took so much time that I couldn’t ejaculate. So, I just masturbated.

Met her again yesterday and I was having the same issue again. I was jerking off thinking about her when I didn’t meet her but when I met her, I just felt relaxed and did cuddling and fingering with her and she gave me BJ. But I wasn’t able to make my mood to do PIV sex even though I used to think about it. When I couldn’t finish, I asked her to kiss and I was jerking off and after few mins, I ejaculated easily cause I was thinking of her only.

Now, even when she was sucking me, I couldn’t get hard properly and even though I like it initially, after few mins, I lost my erection. When I was licking her and engaged in foreplay, I was hard but when I or she put on the condom, I began to lose erection and she kept asking me what I was thinking and I told her due to some reason I wasn’t feeling that much horny and my mind kept thinking that she’s not my girlfriend and I’m doing sex with a stranger. This thought comes in my mind everytime I meet any girl and I can’t get it out of my head even though I want to enjoy the present moment.

I tried not masturbating for 10 days but then I wasn’t able to get hard cause I wasn’t feeling horny enough. I also tried not watching porn that time but even that didn’t help much. I think maybe I have become insensitive to the sensation of anything other than my hand which is why when I touch myself, I am able to maintain erection when I masturbate but not when I’m engaging with someone else. Or maybe I like emotional intimacy first which is why I was not able to focus in that moment but that girl suggested me to see a doctor.

I don’t smoke, not even drink that much just once or twice in a year, take proper sleep, eat homemade food only so I don’t know how it is due to my lifestyle and sometimes I think it is due to my overthinking brain and insensitivity due to porn and masturbation which is why I’m having kind of psychological ED.

All these bad experiences keep coming in my mind whenever I meet someone and that adds to the list.

I’ll meet my FwBs most likely this year in upcoming months and I don’t want to have these issues with them cause it will be both frustrating and embarassing for me. So, please suggest what should I do?