How do I go about talking to my boyfriend about desires and preferences? /u/10KsSniper Sex

I hope I used the right flair, delete if not allowed!

I don’t even know how to word this, I don’t talk to people about sex often. I’m 20F, boyfriend is 23M. We’ve been together for a year and we are so sexually compatible, he’s the only guy that’s ever made me cum and not fake it.

Don’t get me wrong, the sex is AMAZING. The best I’ve ever had! But recently I’ve found myself wanting more, and because we’re moving in together in the next few months, I wanted to ask for advice so I can make our sex life more heated once we don’t live with family.

He’s quite reserved and quiet, and I’m autistic and incredibly awkward in general. I also have a ton of trauma surrounding sex, and talking about what I want in general, mainly from my ex boyfriend, so it can be hard for me to bring topics up. (Something I’m working on in therapy.)

I’ve been finding myself wanting it rough. I mean, it’s not like it’s super gentle at the moment, and he’s super into biting me. I love it too. But I want MORE, and I’m also super into hickies, but he’s only given me a three in the whole time we’ve been together. I’ve been thinking a lot recently about being manhandled and ordered around a little, not too much or anything violent because again. Trauma!!! But I just want to feel dominated and get a little marked up??

I’ve also been sorta hinting at but not directly asking for oral for a few months now, but he is super oblivious and doesn’t get my hints. I’ve also been hinting at wanting to give him a blowjob but again, I haven’t directly said it because I am so painfully awkward.

He sorta dances around the topic when I do bring something light up like trying different positions, our go to is cowgirl because I’m short and he’s incredibly tall, but I wanted to try new things. New to him, at least, as I’d tried a few with my ex.

I’m more experienced than him, with 3 sexual partners (multiple times) previously compared to his 2 not-so-great experiences before getting with me, and maybe he’s afraid of disappointing me or something? Which I understand but it’s silly because I mean it when I tell him he’s the best I’ve ever had. He makes my legs shake and my vision go black, like DUDE!!!

All of this combined has made me unsure of how to bring what I want up to him, a little part of me being scared that he’ll get mad even though I know I’m completely safe with him and he’d never get mad at me for having needs. This post is worded so badly but I just want advice on how I could go about this? Thank you!

I hope I used the right flair, delete if not allowed!

I don’t even know how to word this, I don’t talk to people about sex often. I’m 20F, boyfriend is 23M. We’ve been together for a year and we are so sexually compatible, he’s the only guy that’s ever made me cum and not fake it.

Don’t get me wrong, the sex is AMAZING. The best I’ve ever had! But recently I’ve found myself wanting more, and because we’re moving in together in the next few months, I wanted to ask for advice so I can make our sex life more heated once we don’t live with family.

He’s quite reserved and quiet, and I’m autistic and incredibly awkward in general. I also have a ton of trauma surrounding sex, and talking about what I want in general, mainly from my ex boyfriend, so it can be hard for me to bring topics up. (Something I’m working on in therapy.)

I’ve been finding myself wanting it rough. I mean, it’s not like it’s super gentle at the moment, and he’s super into biting me. I love it too. But I want MORE, and I’m also super into hickies, but he’s only given me a three in the whole time we’ve been together. I’ve been thinking a lot recently about being manhandled and ordered around a little, not too much or anything violent because again. Trauma!!! But I just want to feel dominated and get a little marked up??

I’ve also been sorta hinting at but not directly asking for oral for a few months now, but he is super oblivious and doesn’t get my hints. I’ve also been hinting at wanting to give him a blowjob but again, I haven’t directly said it because I am so painfully awkward.

He sorta dances around the topic when I do bring something light up like trying different positions, our go to is cowgirl because I’m short and he’s incredibly tall, but I wanted to try new things. New to him, at least, as I’d tried a few with my ex.

I’m more experienced than him, with 3 sexual partners (multiple times) previously compared to his 2 not-so-great experiences before getting with me, and maybe he’s afraid of disappointing me or something? Which I understand but it’s silly because I mean it when I tell him he’s the best I’ve ever had. He makes my legs shake and my vision go black, like DUDE!!!

All of this combined has made me unsure of how to bring what I want up to him, a little part of me being scared that he’ll get mad even though I know I’m completely safe with him and he’d never get mad at me for having needs. This post is worded so badly but I just want advice on how I could go about this? Thank you!