I (25f) and my boyfriend (26m) have been together for 5 years, and while our relationship is great in so many ways, our sex life has become a serious issue. He has a much higher sex drive than I do, and it’s starting to take a toll on us.
He often initiates by trying to get me in the mood, but i don’t like it. He teases me by saying things like “you looked so sexy today” even though i literally looked like a hobo. Then he proceeds to touch my chest and suck it which makes me super uncomfortable. It makes me feel like a sex doll sometimes, even though i know its not his intention. Despite this I’ve been going along with it for years because I know he needs intimacy. I’ve told him last night that about 90% of the sex we’ve had was me not really into it. That hurt him and he said he doesn’t want “selfish sex.”
This led to a discussion about possibly opening up the relationship, but the thought of him being with someone else really hurts. I told him im okay with having sex even though I’m not in the mood since the attention feels nice anyways, and i know its important to him. But he says it’s selfish, and he doesn’t want me to force myself.
We are both lost right now. Have any of you experience something similar? How did you find a middle ground? I love him dearly and everything else in the relationship is perfect – this is the one thing we are stugglimg with, and i really don’t want to loose what we have. Any advice or perspective would mean the world to me!
TL;DR: My boyfriend (26M) and I (25F) have been together for 5 years and are struggling with mismatched sex drives. He wants intimacy more often than I do, and while I’ve gone along with it to meet his needs, it’s left me feeling like a sex object at times. After confessing that most of our sex was me not really being into it, he was hurt and said he doesn’t want selfish sex. We discussed opening the relationship, but I feel hurt at the idea of him with someone else. We’re lost and looking for advice on how to find a middle ground because I love him and want to save our relationship.
submitted by /u/saltyspit00on
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r/sex I (25f) and my boyfriend (26m) have been together for 5 years, and while our relationship is great in so many ways, our sex life has become a serious issue. He has a much higher sex drive than I do, and it’s starting to take a toll on us. He often initiates by trying to get me in the mood, but i don’t like it. He teases me by saying things like “you looked so sexy today” even though i literally looked like a hobo. Then he proceeds to touch my chest and suck it which makes me super uncomfortable. It makes me feel like a sex doll sometimes, even though i know its not his intention. Despite this I’ve been going along with it for years because I know he needs intimacy. I’ve told him last night that about 90% of the sex we’ve had was me not really into it. That hurt him and he said he doesn’t want “selfish sex.” This led to a discussion about possibly opening up the relationship, but the thought of him being with someone else really hurts. I told him im okay with having sex even though I’m not in the mood since the attention feels nice anyways, and i know its important to him. But he says it’s selfish, and he doesn’t want me to force myself. We are both lost right now. Have any of you experience something similar? How did you find a middle ground? I love him dearly and everything else in the relationship is perfect – this is the one thing we are stugglimg with, and i really don’t want to loose what we have. Any advice or perspective would mean the world to me! TL;DR: My boyfriend (26M) and I (25F) have been together for 5 years and are struggling with mismatched sex drives. He wants intimacy more often than I do, and while I’ve gone along with it to meet his needs, it’s left me feeling like a sex object at times. After confessing that most of our sex was me not really being into it, he was hurt and said he doesn’t want selfish sex. We discussed opening the relationship, but I feel hurt at the idea of him with someone else. We’re lost and looking for advice on how to find a middle ground because I love him and want to save our relationship. submitted by /u/saltyspit00on [link] [comments]
I (25f) and my boyfriend (26m) have been together for 5 years, and while our relationship is great in so many ways, our sex life has become a serious issue. He has a much higher sex drive than I do, and it’s starting to take a toll on us.
He often initiates by trying to get me in the mood, but i don’t like it. He teases me by saying things like “you looked so sexy today” even though i literally looked like a hobo. Then he proceeds to touch my chest and suck it which makes me super uncomfortable. It makes me feel like a sex doll sometimes, even though i know its not his intention. Despite this I’ve been going along with it for years because I know he needs intimacy. I’ve told him last night that about 90% of the sex we’ve had was me not really into it. That hurt him and he said he doesn’t want “selfish sex.”
This led to a discussion about possibly opening up the relationship, but the thought of him being with someone else really hurts. I told him im okay with having sex even though I’m not in the mood since the attention feels nice anyways, and i know its important to him. But he says it’s selfish, and he doesn’t want me to force myself.
We are both lost right now. Have any of you experience something similar? How did you find a middle ground? I love him dearly and everything else in the relationship is perfect – this is the one thing we are stugglimg with, and i really don’t want to loose what we have. Any advice or perspective would mean the world to me!
TL;DR: My boyfriend (26M) and I (25F) have been together for 5 years and are struggling with mismatched sex drives. He wants intimacy more often than I do, and while I’ve gone along with it to meet his needs, it’s left me feeling like a sex object at times. After confessing that most of our sex was me not really being into it, he was hurt and said he doesn’t want selfish sex. We discussed opening the relationship, but I feel hurt at the idea of him with someone else. We’re lost and looking for advice on how to find a middle ground because I love him and want to save our relationship.
submitted by /u/saltyspit00on
[link] [comments]