Help with Doomscrolling player /u/SaxyCrouton DnD: Roll for Initiative!

Ok I hate having to make this post because it’s a difficult topic. I love my friends and playing DND with them and most of my table has been amazing.

A little backstory before the problem, I started campaign a year and a half ago with a group of 5 of my friends who were mostly inexperienced with DnD (a couple one shots here and there but that’s it). I wanted to start a campaign and they were down, we played one session and then life happened. Fast forward to a year later and we had still only played the one session. I rebooted the campaign and said we’re picking up from where we left off and it’s been great we’ve played super consistently. I told them when we rebooted that I wanted consistent play, and them to have fun but he engaged, I stressed that a lot.

3.5 out of 5 have been fantastic (one is great 75% of the time and the other part has a phone problem but I can get him on task pretty easily) but then there’s the 1. He just simply does not care, in our 3.5 hour sessions where it’s normal ti stretch your legs, munch on food, go to the bathroom, etc. throughout, he spends maybe 30 minutes tops actually paying attention. The rest of the time he’s on his phone or watching sports or something like that. The hard part is that he said he’s genuinely having fun hanging out with his friends and that he feels limited because he doesn’t see himself as creative so roleplay is hard for him. And I don’t fault him for that, I’m ok with him being shaky on it.

What I’m not ok with is his lack of effort. He consistently doesn’t know what his abilities do, what he can do in combat, what he can do out of combat, or even what the story is despite being reminded constantly. He still has 0 clue what the plot is or who the evil organization is despite them being mentioned in EVERY SESSION WE’VE EVER PLAYED. I genuinely wouldn’t mind if he scrolled his phone if he knew what was going on even loosely. But he is completely oblivious and then gets slightly agitated when we get on him for it. Not to mention everything he is asked to name is just the crappiest joke name he can imagine and when I asked him for a backstory I got 2 sentences of slop with nothing to build on. I could go on and on with more details but here’s the core problem.

I’m stubborn and want him to keep playing with us because he’s one of my best friends and is having fun he claims, but I want him to be more invested. Here’s what I’ve tried:

“Jokingly” telling him I should do a session where I take away phones, he said he would refuse and leave on the spot. Tell him if he gives me a 12 point, times new Roman, double spaced, SINGULAR PAGE backstory, I’ll double his money in game (one of the only things he cares about), he says that’s too much effort. Have my other players nudge him to get him on task, or seat him next to different players to try and get him to roleplay with other people around him, to which he gets annoyed, pays attention for like 3 minutes and back to his phone. Create an NPC with a deep connection to his character that he constantly encounters to encourage roleplay, that he says 5 words to, asks why he should care, and then ignores them. Directly interact with him in character and give him minigames he enjoys, to which he plays, and then goes right back to his phone not caring about any following events. Gave him way more combat encounters (he says he likes combat way more) to which if it’s not his turn he doesn’t pay attention and then asks what’s happening on his turn. And even more tbh.

I’m running out of options and hope. So I’m desperately pleading to DM’s way better and smarter than me. Help me r/DnD, you’re my only hope.

TLDR: One of my players is chronically on their phone or not paying attention but they’re one of my best friends and I’m trying to encourage them to be more invested.

Ok I hate having to make this post because it’s a difficult topic. I love my friends and playing DND with them and most of my table has been amazing.

A little backstory before the problem, I started campaign a year and a half ago with a group of 5 of my friends who were mostly inexperienced with DnD (a couple one shots here and there but that’s it). I wanted to start a campaign and they were down, we played one session and then life happened. Fast forward to a year later and we had still only played the one session. I rebooted the campaign and said we’re picking up from where we left off and it’s been great we’ve played super consistently. I told them when we rebooted that I wanted consistent play, and them to have fun but he engaged, I stressed that a lot.

3.5 out of 5 have been fantastic (one is great 75% of the time and the other part has a phone problem but I can get him on task pretty easily) but then there’s the 1. He just simply does not care, in our 3.5 hour sessions where it’s normal ti stretch your legs, munch on food, go to the bathroom, etc. throughout, he spends maybe 30 minutes tops actually paying attention. The rest of the time he’s on his phone or watching sports or something like that. The hard part is that he said he’s genuinely having fun hanging out with his friends and that he feels limited because he doesn’t see himself as creative so roleplay is hard for him. And I don’t fault him for that, I’m ok with him being shaky on it.

What I’m not ok with is his lack of effort. He consistently doesn’t know what his abilities do, what he can do in combat, what he can do out of combat, or even what the story is despite being reminded constantly. He still has 0 clue what the plot is or who the evil organization is despite them being mentioned in EVERY SESSION WE’VE EVER PLAYED. I genuinely wouldn’t mind if he scrolled his phone if he knew what was going on even loosely. But he is completely oblivious and then gets slightly agitated when we get on him for it. Not to mention everything he is asked to name is just the crappiest joke name he can imagine and when I asked him for a backstory I got 2 sentences of slop with nothing to build on. I could go on and on with more details but here’s the core problem.

I’m stubborn and want him to keep playing with us because he’s one of my best friends and is having fun he claims, but I want him to be more invested. Here’s what I’ve tried:

“Jokingly” telling him I should do a session where I take away phones, he said he would refuse and leave on the spot. Tell him if he gives me a 12 point, times new Roman, double spaced, SINGULAR PAGE backstory, I’ll double his money in game (one of the only things he cares about), he says that’s too much effort. Have my other players nudge him to get him on task, or seat him next to different players to try and get him to roleplay with other people around him, to which he gets annoyed, pays attention for like 3 minutes and back to his phone. Create an NPC with a deep connection to his character that he constantly encounters to encourage roleplay, that he says 5 words to, asks why he should care, and then ignores them. Directly interact with him in character and give him minigames he enjoys, to which he plays, and then goes right back to his phone not caring about any following events. Gave him way more combat encounters (he says he likes combat way more) to which if it’s not his turn he doesn’t pay attention and then asks what’s happening on his turn. And even more tbh.

I’m running out of options and hope. So I’m desperately pleading to DM’s way better and smarter than me. Help me r/DnD, you’re my only hope.

TLDR: One of my players is chronically on their phone or not paying attention but they’re one of my best friends and I’m trying to encourage them to be more invested.