Overheard my gf telling her friend we don’t have enough sex. This isn’t a conversation we’ve had. How do I bring it up? /u/StaleBlueBread Sex

So my gf and I have been together for the better part of a year. I’m 25f, she’s 23f. Early in getting to know each other i disclosed potentially being on the ace spectrum or ace-adjacent (tldr some meds fucked me up a few years back and I’m still recovering). I still have sex, and I enjoy it when I do, but I don’t really seek it out and the interest isn’t consistent by any means. This is completely independent of my attraction to my partner; I could be dating Beyoncé and the point would still stand. I can (and typically do) go through a whole ovulation period and not even realize it. By contrast, my partner has a very high libido. She’s very understanding and never pressures me or guilt trips me about sex; she typically masturbates if we aren’t having it. Average sex might be 2-3x a month, but we have an otherwise physically intimate relationship.

However, I recently overheard her coming home after a night out with her best friend (otp with her as the friend drove home) speaking very plainly about having no expectations to have sex tonight. She said she feels like a peasant tryna beg for sex and a “freak ass weirdo”, and expressed jealousy over people who were having more consistent sex. It was pretty late so I guess she assumed I was asleep.

Obviously this doesn’t feel great to hear. I understand that she probably doesn’t want me to feel any pressure to have sex and that maybe that’s why this hasn’t come up, besides the occasional joke about putting sex with her on my agenda and stuff like that. I feel like the freeze on my face is visible when things like that are said because I want to affirm my sexual attraction while also not setting expectations that I can’t realistically guarantee. Idek if this is worth addressing because it was a private conversation and she’s entitled to those. It just sucks to know that she’s feeling that way and I feel somewhat embarrassed. I’m not sure how to proceed.

So my gf and I have been together for the better part of a year. I’m 25f, she’s 23f. Early in getting to know each other i disclosed potentially being on the ace spectrum or ace-adjacent (tldr some meds fucked me up a few years back and I’m still recovering). I still have sex, and I enjoy it when I do, but I don’t really seek it out and the interest isn’t consistent by any means. This is completely independent of my attraction to my partner; I could be dating Beyoncé and the point would still stand. I can (and typically do) go through a whole ovulation period and not even realize it. By contrast, my partner has a very high libido. She’s very understanding and never pressures me or guilt trips me about sex; she typically masturbates if we aren’t having it. Average sex might be 2-3x a month, but we have an otherwise physically intimate relationship.

However, I recently overheard her coming home after a night out with her best friend (otp with her as the friend drove home) speaking very plainly about having no expectations to have sex tonight. She said she feels like a peasant tryna beg for sex and a “freak ass weirdo”, and expressed jealousy over people who were having more consistent sex. It was pretty late so I guess she assumed I was asleep.

Obviously this doesn’t feel great to hear. I understand that she probably doesn’t want me to feel any pressure to have sex and that maybe that’s why this hasn’t come up, besides the occasional joke about putting sex with her on my agenda and stuff like that. I feel like the freeze on my face is visible when things like that are said because I want to affirm my sexual attraction while also not setting expectations that I can’t realistically guarantee. Idek if this is worth addressing because it was a private conversation and she’s entitled to those. It just sucks to know that she’s feeling that way and I feel somewhat embarrassed. I’m not sure how to proceed.