I don’t know what to do anymore /u/Nice-Juggernaut-6891 Sex

I (28 F) have been in a committed relationship with (28 M), for well over a year. We have always struggled with sexual compatibility and I tell myself, “Sex is just a bonus to a good relationship.” But recently, it’s been difficult:

My partner has a very low sex drive opposed to me with an extremely high one. He rarely wants to have sex or do anything sexual. I have asked him if he was asexual to which he denies but states his drive is just lower. It often made me feel alone but I have been able to turn that off until recently.

I found out he was watching porn and masterbating when I’m at work. That brought up familiar feelings of him not wanting me or being attracted to me. The issue isn’t porn, I will never fault him for watching it. The issue is how can you tell me that there’s no drive and do it when I’m gone. This promoted several fights and hurtful words. He said, “If you did more than lay there like a sack of potato’s then maybe I’d want it more.” To be fair. My partner is a larger man, like (3-4x man) and he has a small package. We have tried multiple positions including cowgirl and reverse cowgirl. We have been unsuccessful in any position except missionary. I’m also not a very small girl, (2x 250lbs). We are struggling in this department.

Well, we attempted to have sex lastnight and the whole time I could only think about “You just lay there”. Our rhythms just could not get in sync. I want to be more involved in sex, I do give oral and foreplay. But I just don’t know how to be more active and now I’m really insecure.

Anyone relate?

I (28 F) have been in a committed relationship with (28 M), for well over a year. We have always struggled with sexual compatibility and I tell myself, “Sex is just a bonus to a good relationship.” But recently, it’s been difficult:

My partner has a very low sex drive opposed to me with an extremely high one. He rarely wants to have sex or do anything sexual. I have asked him if he was asexual to which he denies but states his drive is just lower. It often made me feel alone but I have been able to turn that off until recently.

I found out he was watching porn and masterbating when I’m at work. That brought up familiar feelings of him not wanting me or being attracted to me. The issue isn’t porn, I will never fault him for watching it. The issue is how can you tell me that there’s no drive and do it when I’m gone. This promoted several fights and hurtful words. He said, “If you did more than lay there like a sack of potato’s then maybe I’d want it more.” To be fair. My partner is a larger man, like (3-4x man) and he has a small package. We have tried multiple positions including cowgirl and reverse cowgirl. We have been unsuccessful in any position except missionary. I’m also not a very small girl, (2x 250lbs). We are struggling in this department.

Well, we attempted to have sex lastnight and the whole time I could only think about “You just lay there”. Our rhythms just could not get in sync. I want to be more involved in sex, I do give oral and foreplay. But I just don’t know how to be more active and now I’m really insecure.

Anyone relate?