How do I [F19] handle my sex simulation scene in a college film if I’m in a relationship? /u/ThrowRA_234646 Sex

I have a couple issues here.

I am pursuing my double major in film and acting. I’ve done plays in high school and a couple in college too. My long term goal is to eventually make it as an actress for anything from movies to commercials. I’ve been with my bf [M20] for almost 3 years. I see a future with him as in marriage.

Problem: In one of my classes we are tasked with a group project to create a short film about a toxic romantic relationship that gets resolved. It’s supposed to show different literary themes and character development like “The Hero’s Journey” where the main characters go through trials and come out better with learned lessons.

Anyway, the group decided an intimate sex scene with myself and another guy in the group would be great as it brings in passionate moments to push emotional resiliency once the relationship “fails” in the movie. The teacher even ok’d it as long as it was ethical and “not actual sex.”

I find this extremely out of bounds and not appropriate but everyone else in the group wants it. So we did a few scenes of simulated intimate moments. Nothing graphic obviously. No nudity. It was basically me on top of him in a bed, fully clothed under the sheets, and I was grinding on him and moaning and “passionately kissed.”

I felt him get hard. The whole thing was increasingly uncomfortable. He wore sweat pants and idk if that was on purpose. I feel gaslit by everyone because they say it’s simulated and not actual sex so it’s not that big of a deal. But it felt like real sex to me if that makes sense. The group only has 1 other girl and the rest are guys (some gay, some not).

The more I think about this the more troubling it feels. I feel like my professor should not have gave the “ok” for this to be allowed. It feels creepy. I have not told my bf about this because I don’t want this to be a deal breaker for him. But I feel like the sexual moments were more intimate than it should have been.

How do I handle the group project, my relationship, and sex scenes like this? I’m not familiar with simulated sex scenes so I don’t know if we even did it “by the books.” Also, is it possible that your body “reacts” to physical things without you necessarily “wanting it?” As in, if the guy got hard is it because he enjoyed it or just because of the physical sensation? or both?

I have a couple issues here.

I am pursuing my double major in film and acting. I’ve done plays in high school and a couple in college too. My long term goal is to eventually make it as an actress for anything from movies to commercials. I’ve been with my bf [M20] for almost 3 years. I see a future with him as in marriage.

Problem: In one of my classes we are tasked with a group project to create a short film about a toxic romantic relationship that gets resolved. It’s supposed to show different literary themes and character development like “The Hero’s Journey” where the main characters go through trials and come out better with learned lessons.

Anyway, the group decided an intimate sex scene with myself and another guy in the group would be great as it brings in passionate moments to push emotional resiliency once the relationship “fails” in the movie. The teacher even ok’d it as long as it was ethical and “not actual sex.”

I find this extremely out of bounds and not appropriate but everyone else in the group wants it. So we did a few scenes of simulated intimate moments. Nothing graphic obviously. No nudity. It was basically me on top of him in a bed, fully clothed under the sheets, and I was grinding on him and moaning and “passionately kissed.”

I felt him get hard. The whole thing was increasingly uncomfortable. He wore sweat pants and idk if that was on purpose. I feel gaslit by everyone because they say it’s simulated and not actual sex so it’s not that big of a deal. But it felt like real sex to me if that makes sense. The group only has 1 other girl and the rest are guys (some gay, some not).

The more I think about this the more troubling it feels. I feel like my professor should not have gave the “ok” for this to be allowed. It feels creepy. I have not told my bf about this because I don’t want this to be a deal breaker for him. But I feel like the sexual moments were more intimate than it should have been.

How do I handle the group project, my relationship, and sex scenes like this? I’m not familiar with simulated sex scenes so I don’t know if we even did it “by the books.” Also, is it possible that your body “reacts” to physical things without you necessarily “wanting it?” As in, if the guy got hard is it because he enjoyed it or just because of the physical sensation? or both?