Honest male opinion on vaginismus, no sugarcoating /u/Overall_Mushroom_266 Sex

Hello,

I’m a f29, and I’ve been struggling with vaginismus since I was 12 and tried using tampons (how most find out). Still after al these years it hasn’t approved. Went to a doctor, to a pshysiotherapist for pelvic excersises. to a sex psychologist to talk and talk and talk, tried dilating but the pain remains.

Now I’m at a point that I pretty much accept not being able to ever penetrate. It’s fine by me. Never in my life did I enjoy masturbating while entering myself. IT just hurts, even a tip of a finger. But I could masturbate by ‘dry’ masturbating. So for me the penetration itself is not the biggest concern. My biggest concern is what guys would think.

I noticed in, especially the last 5 years, that I felt much more insecure about it. When you relatively young you still hope it somehow will just magically vanish someday. Suprise it doesn’t. I got so scared about dating guys ’cause I didn’t want to dissapoint them with not being able to have sex if things got serious. So I’ve blocked off all men in my life, cause I redeemed myself undesirable anyway. I try to act like I don’t care, but I really do. I long for affection and a nice, happy life together.

But now I’m here on reddit, cause I want honest reactions of men. Would it indeed be a massive turn off for you if you’d be unable to have sex (piv) with a partner. ‘Cause I think that for most men sex is one of the most important things. So please let me know what you think, or experienced. No sugarcoating. Just tell me how it is.

Thanks!

Hello,

I’m a f29, and I’ve been struggling with vaginismus since I was 12 and tried using tampons (how most find out). Still after al these years it hasn’t approved. Went to a doctor, to a pshysiotherapist for pelvic excersises. to a sex psychologist to talk and talk and talk, tried dilating but the pain remains.

Now I’m at a point that I pretty much accept not being able to ever penetrate. It’s fine by me. Never in my life did I enjoy masturbating while entering myself. IT just hurts, even a tip of a finger. But I could masturbate by ‘dry’ masturbating. So for me the penetration itself is not the biggest concern. My biggest concern is what guys would think.

I noticed in, especially the last 5 years, that I felt much more insecure about it. When you relatively young you still hope it somehow will just magically vanish someday. Suprise it doesn’t. I got so scared about dating guys ’cause I didn’t want to dissapoint them with not being able to have sex if things got serious. So I’ve blocked off all men in my life, cause I redeemed myself undesirable anyway. I try to act like I don’t care, but I really do. I long for affection and a nice, happy life together.

But now I’m here on reddit, cause I want honest reactions of men. Would it indeed be a massive turn off for you if you’d be unable to have sex (piv) with a partner. ‘Cause I think that for most men sex is one of the most important things. So please let me know what you think, or experienced. No sugarcoating. Just tell me how it is.

Thanks!