Hi, So I (26M) and my partner (21FTM) have a small issue with our sex life that has been getting a little bit in the way. He told me to go ahead and post here. We’re both so in love and he’s really hot, if I do say so myself. The problem is that when we go to have sex (vaginally), I find that I just don’t fit. A lot of the time I can’t even get it in and when I do it causes him pain. This is the first person with a vagina that I have been with and I don’t know what’s normal in that department, I’ve only been with cisgender men before. I am on the bigger side (8.5”-ish) but I feel like it shouldn’t hurt so bad. Apparently this has been a problem for his whole life, but not usually to this extent. One time when I managed to penetrate him, he just started bleeding a LOT more than I would have expected, I felt horrible. I can tell that he feels bad and I can see the effect that it has on his confidence after we try but I can’t get it in. He apologizes a lot and I have to reassure him over and over again that it doesn’t bother me. He also is a whole 16 inches shorter than me, so you can imagine that there’s a size difference. Aside from being physically small, I can tell that he has a lot of trouble relaxing during sex and that does make it much more difficult to penetrate him. He has a lot of sexual trauma and that was what his doctor insisted it was, and some people said that it’s because we didn’t do enough foreplay or he’s not turned on enough… even though I always go down on him first and he’ll be wet and visibly very turned on, I really don’t think that arousal is the problem. We also use a lot of lube in hopes that it will make penetration easier, although it doesn’t exactly always work. If anybody has any advice or can relate, it would be much appreciated. He’s told me that he feels alone in this and I just want him to be confident in his sexual ability. Every time we try and fail, I see his confidence waver a little more. I don’t want him to be sad and I don’t want to hurt him!
submitted by /u/willamvond
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r/sex Hi, So I (26M) and my partner (21FTM) have a small issue with our sex life that has been getting a little bit in the way. He told me to go ahead and post here. We’re both so in love and he’s really hot, if I do say so myself. The problem is that when we go to have sex (vaginally), I find that I just don’t fit. A lot of the time I can’t even get it in and when I do it causes him pain. This is the first person with a vagina that I have been with and I don’t know what’s normal in that department, I’ve only been with cisgender men before. I am on the bigger side (8.5”-ish) but I feel like it shouldn’t hurt so bad. Apparently this has been a problem for his whole life, but not usually to this extent. One time when I managed to penetrate him, he just started bleeding a LOT more than I would have expected, I felt horrible. I can tell that he feels bad and I can see the effect that it has on his confidence after we try but I can’t get it in. He apologizes a lot and I have to reassure him over and over again that it doesn’t bother me. He also is a whole 16 inches shorter than me, so you can imagine that there’s a size difference. Aside from being physically small, I can tell that he has a lot of trouble relaxing during sex and that does make it much more difficult to penetrate him. He has a lot of sexual trauma and that was what his doctor insisted it was, and some people said that it’s because we didn’t do enough foreplay or he’s not turned on enough… even though I always go down on him first and he’ll be wet and visibly very turned on, I really don’t think that arousal is the problem. We also use a lot of lube in hopes that it will make penetration easier, although it doesn’t exactly always work. If anybody has any advice or can relate, it would be much appreciated. He’s told me that he feels alone in this and I just want him to be confident in his sexual ability. Every time we try and fail, I see his confidence waver a little more. I don’t want him to be sad and I don’t want to hurt him! submitted by /u/willamvond [link] [comments]
Hi, So I (26M) and my partner (21FTM) have a small issue with our sex life that has been getting a little bit in the way. He told me to go ahead and post here. We’re both so in love and he’s really hot, if I do say so myself. The problem is that when we go to have sex (vaginally), I find that I just don’t fit. A lot of the time I can’t even get it in and when I do it causes him pain. This is the first person with a vagina that I have been with and I don’t know what’s normal in that department, I’ve only been with cisgender men before. I am on the bigger side (8.5”-ish) but I feel like it shouldn’t hurt so bad. Apparently this has been a problem for his whole life, but not usually to this extent. One time when I managed to penetrate him, he just started bleeding a LOT more than I would have expected, I felt horrible. I can tell that he feels bad and I can see the effect that it has on his confidence after we try but I can’t get it in. He apologizes a lot and I have to reassure him over and over again that it doesn’t bother me. He also is a whole 16 inches shorter than me, so you can imagine that there’s a size difference. Aside from being physically small, I can tell that he has a lot of trouble relaxing during sex and that does make it much more difficult to penetrate him. He has a lot of sexual trauma and that was what his doctor insisted it was, and some people said that it’s because we didn’t do enough foreplay or he’s not turned on enough… even though I always go down on him first and he’ll be wet and visibly very turned on, I really don’t think that arousal is the problem. We also use a lot of lube in hopes that it will make penetration easier, although it doesn’t exactly always work. If anybody has any advice or can relate, it would be much appreciated. He’s told me that he feels alone in this and I just want him to be confident in his sexual ability. Every time we try and fail, I see his confidence waver a little more. I don’t want him to be sad and I don’t want to hurt him!
submitted by /u/willamvond
[link] [comments]