Sex talks with her left me in physical pain /u/nottheuseryouwanted Sex

Kinda a rant, but also looking for suggestions. Will delete soon probably.

So me(23M) and my baby(22F). This is just me trying to understand myself. We’re dating for over 2 years now, and this is both of ours first relationship. But every once in a while I am hit with this thought I’m not enough, feeling of I’m pathetic and whatever. Again not what I believe. And I’m trying to be better for both of us day by day.

I wasn’t gonna write anything but today as we were sexting, she asked to go dirtier, I dont have words to say since I have a limited vocab in both english and my local language. I was sprouting random bs like I’ll fuck you like this and that whatever, dude I started to cry in the middle of it. I’m physically hurting saying shit like, ‘slut’, ‘whore’, how It’ll fuck her in front of everyone and what not. Again this is fantasy. Something she enjoys. But also fuck I do imagine this happening and today I finally started to cry about how I hate talking to her this way, I felt this was disrespectful to her. I ofc will tell her tomorrow, as she slept in the middle of our ‘sex talks’ but oh well. I do feel proud that I respect her, but also I want to fulfill her fantasies by creating better scenarios and make this more spicy. I’m scared that if I tell her, what if she tries to subdue this part of her? I love that she’s this open but also THIS LITERALLY HURT ME ON PHYSICAL LEVEL DUDE. Sucks my mom always taught me to respect em girls.

TL;DR : My girl and I have a good sexual connection but sometimes the fantacies are out of hand and as much as I want to fulfill, damn it hurts.

Kinda a rant, but also looking for suggestions. Will delete soon probably.

So me(23M) and my baby(22F). This is just me trying to understand myself. We’re dating for over 2 years now, and this is both of ours first relationship. But every once in a while I am hit with this thought I’m not enough, feeling of I’m pathetic and whatever. Again not what I believe. And I’m trying to be better for both of us day by day.

I wasn’t gonna write anything but today as we were sexting, she asked to go dirtier, I dont have words to say since I have a limited vocab in both english and my local language. I was sprouting random bs like I’ll fuck you like this and that whatever, dude I started to cry in the middle of it. I’m physically hurting saying shit like, ‘slut’, ‘whore’, how It’ll fuck her in front of everyone and what not. Again this is fantasy. Something she enjoys. But also fuck I do imagine this happening and today I finally started to cry about how I hate talking to her this way, I felt this was disrespectful to her. I ofc will tell her tomorrow, as she slept in the middle of our ‘sex talks’ but oh well. I do feel proud that I respect her, but also I want to fulfill her fantasies by creating better scenarios and make this more spicy. I’m scared that if I tell her, what if she tries to subdue this part of her? I love that she’s this open but also THIS LITERALLY HURT ME ON PHYSICAL LEVEL DUDE. Sucks my mom always taught me to respect em girls.

TL;DR : My girl and I have a good sexual connection but sometimes the fantacies are out of hand and as much as I want to fulfill, damn it hurts.