i 24F can’t enjoy sex with my bf 25M /u/Spiritual-Complex809 Sex

for some back story, i have had around 15 sexual partners, some of which trauma was involved. there was a few times i used to endure pain during sex with people i didnt know very well because i didnt know how to get out of it. now i am in a long term relationship of 4 years with my bf, and i haven’t been able to truly and fully enjoy sex with him lately. i love him so much, i think he very attractive, but whenever sex is initiated by me or him, i feel panic. then i kind of go into autopilot? i start to feel like a robot. and kind of just go with the motions. i get overwhelmed pretty easily too. if sex is not feeling good for even a few seconds, i start to spiral and panic. i’m afraid of feeling uncomfortable during it. i feel like i can only do 1-2 positions and it’s always the same. we start with the same foreplay and go into the same positions every time. i’m afraid of changing it up. i’m afraid of feeling the deep pain i used to feel. my boyfriend is very nice, he gives me foreplay, and strangely, he makes me orgasm with oral after sex and it usually takes me 1-2 minutes which i think is fast. so that’s promising that i’m not fully broken. another thing that started happening just recently is that my bf can’t maintain is erection. he will be hard for the first few minutes or so and then i’ll feel it fade. one time i pointed it out to him, and now he says it’s all he thinks about during sex and he can’t enjoy it anymore bc he’s thinking about how hard he is. i didn’t meant to make him anxious. i just wanted to know why and if something happened. he used to masturbate 1-3 times a day, and he stopped to try and regain his lasting erection. he stopped masturbating for 4 days. his erection still isn’t lasting. i need some advice, any helpful advice is appreciated. i want to have a normal and happy sex life. there was a period of time when our sex was pretty solid. we were having it 1-2x per week without really any problems. now we just try and do it in hopes that things will be fixed, but it seems that isn’t working. any suggestions would be appreciated. i’m also going to talk about this with my therapist the day after tomorrow.

for some back story, i have had around 15 sexual partners, some of which trauma was involved. there was a few times i used to endure pain during sex with people i didnt know very well because i didnt know how to get out of it. now i am in a long term relationship of 4 years with my bf, and i haven’t been able to truly and fully enjoy sex with him lately. i love him so much, i think he very attractive, but whenever sex is initiated by me or him, i feel panic. then i kind of go into autopilot? i start to feel like a robot. and kind of just go with the motions. i get overwhelmed pretty easily too. if sex is not feeling good for even a few seconds, i start to spiral and panic. i’m afraid of feeling uncomfortable during it. i feel like i can only do 1-2 positions and it’s always the same. we start with the same foreplay and go into the same positions every time. i’m afraid of changing it up. i’m afraid of feeling the deep pain i used to feel. my boyfriend is very nice, he gives me foreplay, and strangely, he makes me orgasm with oral after sex and it usually takes me 1-2 minutes which i think is fast. so that’s promising that i’m not fully broken. another thing that started happening just recently is that my bf can’t maintain is erection. he will be hard for the first few minutes or so and then i’ll feel it fade. one time i pointed it out to him, and now he says it’s all he thinks about during sex and he can’t enjoy it anymore bc he’s thinking about how hard he is. i didn’t meant to make him anxious. i just wanted to know why and if something happened. he used to masturbate 1-3 times a day, and he stopped to try and regain his lasting erection. he stopped masturbating for 4 days. his erection still isn’t lasting. i need some advice, any helpful advice is appreciated. i want to have a normal and happy sex life. there was a period of time when our sex was pretty solid. we were having it 1-2x per week without really any problems. now we just try and do it in hopes that things will be fixed, but it seems that isn’t working. any suggestions would be appreciated. i’m also going to talk about this with my therapist the day after tomorrow.