Gf says I’m too “vanilla” and not rough enough /u/screw56 Sex

Both 24, we have a great relationship and I care for her a lot. New relationship around 6 months.

Recently after sex we were cuddling and I always like to communicate to ask if there was anything I could do better or she wanted next time. I appreciate honest feedback, don’t get defensive as I want it to be great for both of us

She’s pretty in tuned with her body so she usually tells me slight tweaks that would’ve helped her reach orgasm etc and I make notes and try my best.

I’m personally a very romantic person, I enjoy passionate but affectionate sex. I love going down on her and enjoy extended foreplay. I don’t like to just have intercourse and be done in 5 minutes.

This time though she mentioned she’d wish I was more rough and aggressive as sometimes it would’ve helped her if I choked her, pulled her hair or kept going when said to stop (wtf?). She said I never took initiative to be kinky etc and that I’m too vanilla. But she said she loves and thinks our sex is great but would like more variety.

I told her I take consent very seriously, if she pre communicates the consent to me then I can consider it I just generally am not a fan of CNC discussion or ideas during sex it makes me uncomfortable.

I was honest I told her I’m not into rough sex the idea makes me uncomfortable. I am down to explore kinks but they can role play based stuff or bondage but ideas about inflicting pain I’m not interested in.

She said she’s pretty disappointed cuz she really likes that kinda of sex and was waiting for me to bring it up as men naturally behave like that. She’s been a bit frustrated and didn’t want to force me to do anything but also can’t really not do that for so long.

I asked her if this is a deal breaker for her and if she would want to end things if I’m not into the same stuff? She said she’s not sure because she really likes me and doesn’t want ruin a relationship over this but she can’t control how she feels.

What should I do? Is this just a simple sexual compatibility mismatch? Seems silly to end a relationship that took a lot of time to build over sex but I guess it’s important.

Both 24, we have a great relationship and I care for her a lot. New relationship around 6 months.

Recently after sex we were cuddling and I always like to communicate to ask if there was anything I could do better or she wanted next time. I appreciate honest feedback, don’t get defensive as I want it to be great for both of us

She’s pretty in tuned with her body so she usually tells me slight tweaks that would’ve helped her reach orgasm etc and I make notes and try my best.

I’m personally a very romantic person, I enjoy passionate but affectionate sex. I love going down on her and enjoy extended foreplay. I don’t like to just have intercourse and be done in 5 minutes.

This time though she mentioned she’d wish I was more rough and aggressive as sometimes it would’ve helped her if I choked her, pulled her hair or kept going when said to stop (wtf?). She said I never took initiative to be kinky etc and that I’m too vanilla. But she said she loves and thinks our sex is great but would like more variety.

I told her I take consent very seriously, if she pre communicates the consent to me then I can consider it I just generally am not a fan of CNC discussion or ideas during sex it makes me uncomfortable.

I was honest I told her I’m not into rough sex the idea makes me uncomfortable. I am down to explore kinks but they can role play based stuff or bondage but ideas about inflicting pain I’m not interested in.

She said she’s pretty disappointed cuz she really likes that kinda of sex and was waiting for me to bring it up as men naturally behave like that. She’s been a bit frustrated and didn’t want to force me to do anything but also can’t really not do that for so long.

I asked her if this is a deal breaker for her and if she would want to end things if I’m not into the same stuff? She said she’s not sure because she really likes me and doesn’t want ruin a relationship over this but she can’t control how she feels.

What should I do? Is this just a simple sexual compatibility mismatch? Seems silly to end a relationship that took a lot of time to build over sex but I guess it’s important.