confident and fond of every sexual act, except sex itself. /u/daysiiscool Sex

my girlfriend and I (male) are very fond of any kind of a sexual act. we both feel confident, really enjoy it and frequently talk about it. were both also excited about the idea of having sex and we tried it a few times.

out of all of these, there was only one time in which i actually could feel alot from it and have finished, while being on top (important context) but that isnt certainly what i want to takk about. however both in all the other times and now, despite us both enjoying the “session”, the foreplay, and the idea of having sex, the moment we start doing it i lose all of my confidence, its just like a constant train of thoughts running across my head. to add to that, i dont really feel that much pleasure from doing it, definitely much less than e.g. getting head or a handjob. i start feeling lightheaded and can feel a burning (as if they were going numb) sensation in both my arms, regardless of the position. all of this, as you could probably guess by now, leads to me losing my erection, along with the will of doing it.

another thing is the fact that it is enjoyable when shes on top (e.g. cowgirl), i guess that the fact im not the one in charge makes all of these thoughts be less daunting, i find it weird though, because i am a switch, not a bottom, and i find being dominant very arousing too, and id love applying that to sex too.

i want to mention that my girl does an excellent job as a partner when it comes to giving me comfort and consoling me when things go south. i never feel judge or disappointment from her, and she openly says that she understands and that we will give this as much time as it needs, so her being a problem of any sort is not the case at all.

i really want to have sex, but starting the act is a killswitch, and id love to change that. id like to say sorry in advance if the whole post is chaotic, i myself dont fully understand, not see the cause of all of this. has anybody ever experienced something similar?

tldr: wanna have sex, cant seem to enjoy the act as of now, without the cause being pressure put by the partner.

my girlfriend and I (male) are very fond of any kind of a sexual act. we both feel confident, really enjoy it and frequently talk about it. were both also excited about the idea of having sex and we tried it a few times.

out of all of these, there was only one time in which i actually could feel alot from it and have finished, while being on top (important context) but that isnt certainly what i want to takk about. however both in all the other times and now, despite us both enjoying the “session”, the foreplay, and the idea of having sex, the moment we start doing it i lose all of my confidence, its just like a constant train of thoughts running across my head. to add to that, i dont really feel that much pleasure from doing it, definitely much less than e.g. getting head or a handjob. i start feeling lightheaded and can feel a burning (as if they were going numb) sensation in both my arms, regardless of the position. all of this, as you could probably guess by now, leads to me losing my erection, along with the will of doing it.

another thing is the fact that it is enjoyable when shes on top (e.g. cowgirl), i guess that the fact im not the one in charge makes all of these thoughts be less daunting, i find it weird though, because i am a switch, not a bottom, and i find being dominant very arousing too, and id love applying that to sex too.

i want to mention that my girl does an excellent job as a partner when it comes to giving me comfort and consoling me when things go south. i never feel judge or disappointment from her, and she openly says that she understands and that we will give this as much time as it needs, so her being a problem of any sort is not the case at all.

i really want to have sex, but starting the act is a killswitch, and id love to change that. id like to say sorry in advance if the whole post is chaotic, i myself dont fully understand, not see the cause of all of this. has anybody ever experienced something similar?

tldr: wanna have sex, cant seem to enjoy the act as of now, without the cause being pressure put by the partner.