My girlfriend (23F) and I (25M) have been together for 10 months. She is extremely caring and loving person, and I really like everything about the relationship apart from our sex life. I feel like I can really trust her, open up to her, and know she is a super kindhearted person. I have never been in a relationship where I am comfortable trusting someone to this extent.
However, I feel unsatisfied sexually and I don’t like the mental state it puts me in. I find myself consuming porn and not being able to sleep.
I have had a handful of sexual partners in the past and it is her first time. Early in our relationship, we didn’t have sex for several months. I got her to try doing oral sex but I don’t think she likes doing it. When she does give me oral she will go for only 10-20 seconds before she says she’s done. I enjoy going down on her and will go for at least 5 min or until she can orgasm. She told me she really likes it when I perform oral on her. I love pleasing her but when she only goes down for such a short period of time I am quite unsatisfied. I’m not sure why exactly she only wants to do 10-20 seconds(I know I should ask her communication and all). I have been diligent about washing not sure if that impacts the taste.
Eventually around 4 months in I brought up having sex and she said she was really scared, though she really wanted to with me. We had an open and honest conversation about her fears, which seemed to help her feel safer. We had sex for the first time around 8 months into our relationship.
Having sex for the first time, I didn’t go into it with big expectations i knew I would have to go slow and it would probably hurt a bit for her. I knew it might be a process and I hoped with time she would be more comfortable with it and I would be more satisfied. Fast forward to now and we have only had sex 4 times.
Having sex is very rare when we spend time together. She’s extremely anxious about pregnancy, despite us taking multiple precautions. She’s on birth control, I wear a condom, and I also pull out because she wants me to, even though I feel like the pill + condom is already more than enough.
Lately, her anxiety has gotten worse—she’s stopped wanting to have sex during ovulation (5 day period) because it’s the most fertile time of the month. I completely understand her not wanting to get pregnant, and I wouldn’t want that either, but her anxiety amplifies how unsatisfied I am with our sex life. She knows that I think that some of her precautions are unnecessary. But I don’t feel like I can do anything to change her mind. It’s her body I can’t tell her that me pulling out and avoiding the fertile ovulation period is unnecessary.
At this point, I’m feeling pretty unsatisfied in the bedroom. I care about her, but I’m not sure how to navigate this situation. It feels as though I have been trying to communicate and find ways to make our sex life more satisfying for me for a long time. I really like her but I don’t know if I will be happy long term if our sex life stays as is.
What do y’all think I should do? I have seriously contemplated ending the relationship, but I’m afraid I’ll never find someone who is a better partner than her. Do I need to communicate more and give her more time? Or am I just way too horny of a dude
submitted by /u/Civil_Break_6347
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r/sex My girlfriend (23F) and I (25M) have been together for 10 months. She is extremely caring and loving person, and I really like everything about the relationship apart from our sex life. I feel like I can really trust her, open up to her, and know she is a super kindhearted person. I have never been in a relationship where I am comfortable trusting someone to this extent. However, I feel unsatisfied sexually and I don’t like the mental state it puts me in. I find myself consuming porn and not being able to sleep. I have had a handful of sexual partners in the past and it is her first time. Early in our relationship, we didn’t have sex for several months. I got her to try doing oral sex but I don’t think she likes doing it. When she does give me oral she will go for only 10-20 seconds before she says she’s done. I enjoy going down on her and will go for at least 5 min or until she can orgasm. She told me she really likes it when I perform oral on her. I love pleasing her but when she only goes down for such a short period of time I am quite unsatisfied. I’m not sure why exactly she only wants to do 10-20 seconds(I know I should ask her communication and all). I have been diligent about washing not sure if that impacts the taste. Eventually around 4 months in I brought up having sex and she said she was really scared, though she really wanted to with me. We had an open and honest conversation about her fears, which seemed to help her feel safer. We had sex for the first time around 8 months into our relationship. Having sex for the first time, I didn’t go into it with big expectations i knew I would have to go slow and it would probably hurt a bit for her. I knew it might be a process and I hoped with time she would be more comfortable with it and I would be more satisfied. Fast forward to now and we have only had sex 4 times. Having sex is very rare when we spend time together. She’s extremely anxious about pregnancy, despite us taking multiple precautions. She’s on birth control, I wear a condom, and I also pull out because she wants me to, even though I feel like the pill + condom is already more than enough. Lately, her anxiety has gotten worse—she’s stopped wanting to have sex during ovulation (5 day period) because it’s the most fertile time of the month. I completely understand her not wanting to get pregnant, and I wouldn’t want that either, but her anxiety amplifies how unsatisfied I am with our sex life. She knows that I think that some of her precautions are unnecessary. But I don’t feel like I can do anything to change her mind. It’s her body I can’t tell her that me pulling out and avoiding the fertile ovulation period is unnecessary. At this point, I’m feeling pretty unsatisfied in the bedroom. I care about her, but I’m not sure how to navigate this situation. It feels as though I have been trying to communicate and find ways to make our sex life more satisfying for me for a long time. I really like her but I don’t know if I will be happy long term if our sex life stays as is. What do y’all think I should do? I have seriously contemplated ending the relationship, but I’m afraid I’ll never find someone who is a better partner than her. Do I need to communicate more and give her more time? Or am I just way too horny of a dude submitted by /u/Civil_Break_6347 [link] [comments]
My girlfriend (23F) and I (25M) have been together for 10 months. She is extremely caring and loving person, and I really like everything about the relationship apart from our sex life. I feel like I can really trust her, open up to her, and know she is a super kindhearted person. I have never been in a relationship where I am comfortable trusting someone to this extent.
However, I feel unsatisfied sexually and I don’t like the mental state it puts me in. I find myself consuming porn and not being able to sleep.
I have had a handful of sexual partners in the past and it is her first time. Early in our relationship, we didn’t have sex for several months. I got her to try doing oral sex but I don’t think she likes doing it. When she does give me oral she will go for only 10-20 seconds before she says she’s done. I enjoy going down on her and will go for at least 5 min or until she can orgasm. She told me she really likes it when I perform oral on her. I love pleasing her but when she only goes down for such a short period of time I am quite unsatisfied. I’m not sure why exactly she only wants to do 10-20 seconds(I know I should ask her communication and all). I have been diligent about washing not sure if that impacts the taste.
Eventually around 4 months in I brought up having sex and she said she was really scared, though she really wanted to with me. We had an open and honest conversation about her fears, which seemed to help her feel safer. We had sex for the first time around 8 months into our relationship.
Having sex for the first time, I didn’t go into it with big expectations i knew I would have to go slow and it would probably hurt a bit for her. I knew it might be a process and I hoped with time she would be more comfortable with it and I would be more satisfied. Fast forward to now and we have only had sex 4 times.
Having sex is very rare when we spend time together. She’s extremely anxious about pregnancy, despite us taking multiple precautions. She’s on birth control, I wear a condom, and I also pull out because she wants me to, even though I feel like the pill + condom is already more than enough.
Lately, her anxiety has gotten worse—she’s stopped wanting to have sex during ovulation (5 day period) because it’s the most fertile time of the month. I completely understand her not wanting to get pregnant, and I wouldn’t want that either, but her anxiety amplifies how unsatisfied I am with our sex life. She knows that I think that some of her precautions are unnecessary. But I don’t feel like I can do anything to change her mind. It’s her body I can’t tell her that me pulling out and avoiding the fertile ovulation period is unnecessary.
At this point, I’m feeling pretty unsatisfied in the bedroom. I care about her, but I’m not sure how to navigate this situation. It feels as though I have been trying to communicate and find ways to make our sex life more satisfying for me for a long time. I really like her but I don’t know if I will be happy long term if our sex life stays as is.
What do y’all think I should do? I have seriously contemplated ending the relationship, but I’m afraid I’ll never find someone who is a better partner than her. Do I need to communicate more and give her more time? Or am I just way too horny of a dude
submitted by /u/Civil_Break_6347
[link] [comments]