My wife told me she wants a lover /u/Dante83283 Sex

I know how the title sounds, but there is an explanation, I have had the kink of my wife having sex with another man for years, of her cheating on me, I confessed it to her 2 years ago, she agreed with me having the fantasy but said it wouldn’t happen, although we fantasized about it in bed

In November, she brought up the subject, she told me that a coworker asked her out, and that she thought it was cute, but she needs emotional connection, she wanted to go on dates with him, she asked me to be on those dates too (he also agreed with our dynamic)

We have been having “dates” the 3 of us for a while, nothing sexual has happened between them (although there is clearly tension), I like the guy, we have things in common and I think I even start to consider him a friend

However, yesterday she was a little nervous and confessed to me that maybe she is in love with him, she doesn’t just want sex, she asked me for permission to have a “affair” with him, she promised me that nothing had happened between them yet and that I could say no and it would all be over with him, but she couldn’t fulfill my fantasy without emotional connection, she wanted something like a lover.

She has also told me that our relationship comes first and she wants to have a family with me (we plan to have children and I guess she tells me this to make it clear that she has no intention of leaving me)

She offered me total transparency, obviously I can’t be with them all the time because they work together, but she offered me that whenever something sexual or romantic happened I could be there if I wanted, I was always invited. so I don’t think she’s doing anything behind my back, she seems very interested in involving me (she even thinks it’s hot that I’m there)

I have mixed feelings, I really want to fulfill my kink, I know sex isn’t the same as romance/love, but the emotional side is also part of my fantasy (although if it was just sexual it would be fine too) but I know this can be risky for my marriage.

If she wanted to leave me for him she would have done it already, she doesn’t seem to want to do it, I don’t know if this would start to be considered polyamory or something similar? Is there a way to make this work? Maybe some rule? like the one she offered me about always being there? Could that work? I don’t want to distance myself emotionally from my wife to fulfill my kink

I’ve also thought about asking her to make her relationship with him purely sexual, but I don’t know if she would accept since she likes the emotional part and if this fails with him, I don’t think I’ll have many more chances to fulfill my kink

I know how the title sounds, but there is an explanation, I have had the kink of my wife having sex with another man for years, of her cheating on me, I confessed it to her 2 years ago, she agreed with me having the fantasy but said it wouldn’t happen, although we fantasized about it in bed

In November, she brought up the subject, she told me that a coworker asked her out, and that she thought it was cute, but she needs emotional connection, she wanted to go on dates with him, she asked me to be on those dates too (he also agreed with our dynamic)

We have been having “dates” the 3 of us for a while, nothing sexual has happened between them (although there is clearly tension), I like the guy, we have things in common and I think I even start to consider him a friend

However, yesterday she was a little nervous and confessed to me that maybe she is in love with him, she doesn’t just want sex, she asked me for permission to have a “affair” with him, she promised me that nothing had happened between them yet and that I could say no and it would all be over with him, but she couldn’t fulfill my fantasy without emotional connection, she wanted something like a lover.

She has also told me that our relationship comes first and she wants to have a family with me (we plan to have children and I guess she tells me this to make it clear that she has no intention of leaving me)

She offered me total transparency, obviously I can’t be with them all the time because they work together, but she offered me that whenever something sexual or romantic happened I could be there if I wanted, I was always invited. so I don’t think she’s doing anything behind my back, she seems very interested in involving me (she even thinks it’s hot that I’m there)

I have mixed feelings, I really want to fulfill my kink, I know sex isn’t the same as romance/love, but the emotional side is also part of my fantasy (although if it was just sexual it would be fine too) but I know this can be risky for my marriage.

If she wanted to leave me for him she would have done it already, she doesn’t seem to want to do it, I don’t know if this would start to be considered polyamory or something similar? Is there a way to make this work? Maybe some rule? like the one she offered me about always being there? Could that work? I don’t want to distance myself emotionally from my wife to fulfill my kink

I’ve also thought about asking her to make her relationship with him purely sexual, but I don’t know if she would accept since she likes the emotional part and if this fails with him, I don’t think I’ll have many more chances to fulfill my kink