I’m madly in love with my wife (F42). We’ve been together 14 years. She is the most gracious, loving, gentle person I know. I would give my life for her.
She had a very turbulent and violent past before me. She’d only been with men. The men she was with took advantage of her. They did things to her that were unforgivable and unfathomable. I feel horrible for her.
The issue is…I feel like this has carried over to me. We have never been able to have a meaningful conversation about sex, kinks, fetishes, desires — anything. She shuts down. If I bring it up after drinks, she gets upset and says we should talk about sex sober. But this is a lie. She never wants to talk about sex sober.
Our most recent row was today, and it wasn’t even that. I don’t know what to do. It’s been fourteen years and while we’ve had amazing sex, I don’t know what my wife likes. I don’t know how to seduce her. I feel bad even touching her. When I’m spontaneous, I’m always scared I’m doing something similar to rape — something that will remind her of the men before her. When I bring up sex drunk, she says to talk about it sober. When I bring it up sober, it’s a dud.
Today she said she’d be happy having sex again in April. We had it last January 3rd. I’m the type of partner that will have sex daily or once a year — I just want my wife to be happy. The thing is, I have no idea what she wants. I’m her best friend and she won’t talk to me. It’s been fourteen years and I’m at my wits end. Please help.
PS — when we do have sex, actual passionate sex, it’s incredible.
submitted by /u/polderbaan
[link] [comments]
r/sex I’m madly in love with my wife (F42). We’ve been together 14 years. She is the most gracious, loving, gentle person I know. I would give my life for her. She had a very turbulent and violent past before me. She’d only been with men. The men she was with took advantage of her. They did things to her that were unforgivable and unfathomable. I feel horrible for her. The issue is…I feel like this has carried over to me. We have never been able to have a meaningful conversation about sex, kinks, fetishes, desires — anything. She shuts down. If I bring it up after drinks, she gets upset and says we should talk about sex sober. But this is a lie. She never wants to talk about sex sober. Our most recent row was today, and it wasn’t even that. I don’t know what to do. It’s been fourteen years and while we’ve had amazing sex, I don’t know what my wife likes. I don’t know how to seduce her. I feel bad even touching her. When I’m spontaneous, I’m always scared I’m doing something similar to rape — something that will remind her of the men before her. When I bring up sex drunk, she says to talk about it sober. When I bring it up sober, it’s a dud. Today she said she’d be happy having sex again in April. We had it last January 3rd. I’m the type of partner that will have sex daily or once a year — I just want my wife to be happy. The thing is, I have no idea what she wants. I’m her best friend and she won’t talk to me. It’s been fourteen years and I’m at my wits end. Please help. PS — when we do have sex, actual passionate sex, it’s incredible. submitted by /u/polderbaan [link] [comments]
I’m madly in love with my wife (F42). We’ve been together 14 years. She is the most gracious, loving, gentle person I know. I would give my life for her.
She had a very turbulent and violent past before me. She’d only been with men. The men she was with took advantage of her. They did things to her that were unforgivable and unfathomable. I feel horrible for her.
The issue is…I feel like this has carried over to me. We have never been able to have a meaningful conversation about sex, kinks, fetishes, desires — anything. She shuts down. If I bring it up after drinks, she gets upset and says we should talk about sex sober. But this is a lie. She never wants to talk about sex sober.
Our most recent row was today, and it wasn’t even that. I don’t know what to do. It’s been fourteen years and while we’ve had amazing sex, I don’t know what my wife likes. I don’t know how to seduce her. I feel bad even touching her. When I’m spontaneous, I’m always scared I’m doing something similar to rape — something that will remind her of the men before her. When I bring up sex drunk, she says to talk about it sober. When I bring it up sober, it’s a dud.
Today she said she’d be happy having sex again in April. We had it last January 3rd. I’m the type of partner that will have sex daily or once a year — I just want my wife to be happy. The thing is, I have no idea what she wants. I’m her best friend and she won’t talk to me. It’s been fourteen years and I’m at my wits end. Please help.
PS — when we do have sex, actual passionate sex, it’s incredible.
submitted by /u/polderbaan
[link] [comments]