My crush and I hooked up /u/thisisathrowaway606 Sex

Basically as the title says my crush of 2 years and I hooked up yesterday. I’m very inexperienced and he knows it (I had only ever kissed one guy before once). He was so gentle and kind and constantly checking in to make sure I was ok and stuff. We didn’t have sex and I didn’t let him give me anything aside from sucking my boobs but we kissed and made out a little. I couldn’t figure out kissing and I was frustrated by it and he said it was ok and I was just nervous and that practice makes perfect. We continued and I ended up giving him a hj which turned into a bj. I kept asking him throughout if I was doing ok and if there’s anything I needed to do differently and most the time he would say i was doing good and to keep going and other times he’d suggest trying a different technique and explaining it to me. The most frustrating part was when i was going down on him and he’d tell me not to stop and I wouldn’t but I would lose my rhythm and then stop for a second to start again.

Afterwards I was talking to him last night about it and asked if I was bad at it (I had asked him right afterwards and he told me no and that my BJ skills were a 9/10 and only because I kept stopping to talk or ask something he also gave me a 7/10 for kissing but I think he added extra points to not make me feel bad there) he told me no I wasn’t bad at it but he also pointed out that he could tell I was thinking about trying to do well the entire time.

Now I feel terrible about it and I know he said that it wasn’t bad but I feel that it took away from the experience. He’s right I was worried about doing well but I still enjoyed myself for the most part. He’s also brought up how he notices no matter how much people tell me (in regards to doing a good job or my looks etc) that I never believe them and was insinuating how I was so hard on myself. (We have had talks in the past where he repeatedly has told me not to degrade myself and I respond with I’m not trying to that’s just the logical answer). I want to continue doing things with him and practicing but I’m also worried that he didn’t enjoy it.

I feel like the more I practice and get better the less stress I will have about it. But I also like this boy so much I hate disappointing him (and anyone for that matter). How do I overcome this obstacle? Aside from practice, my crush and I discussed therapy but I also can’t afford it even with benefits. Also any tips on techniques and stuff will be greatly appreciated.

Basically as the title says my crush of 2 years and I hooked up yesterday. I’m very inexperienced and he knows it (I had only ever kissed one guy before once). He was so gentle and kind and constantly checking in to make sure I was ok and stuff. We didn’t have sex and I didn’t let him give me anything aside from sucking my boobs but we kissed and made out a little. I couldn’t figure out kissing and I was frustrated by it and he said it was ok and I was just nervous and that practice makes perfect. We continued and I ended up giving him a hj which turned into a bj. I kept asking him throughout if I was doing ok and if there’s anything I needed to do differently and most the time he would say i was doing good and to keep going and other times he’d suggest trying a different technique and explaining it to me. The most frustrating part was when i was going down on him and he’d tell me not to stop and I wouldn’t but I would lose my rhythm and then stop for a second to start again.

Afterwards I was talking to him last night about it and asked if I was bad at it (I had asked him right afterwards and he told me no and that my BJ skills were a 9/10 and only because I kept stopping to talk or ask something he also gave me a 7/10 for kissing but I think he added extra points to not make me feel bad there) he told me no I wasn’t bad at it but he also pointed out that he could tell I was thinking about trying to do well the entire time.

Now I feel terrible about it and I know he said that it wasn’t bad but I feel that it took away from the experience. He’s right I was worried about doing well but I still enjoyed myself for the most part. He’s also brought up how he notices no matter how much people tell me (in regards to doing a good job or my looks etc) that I never believe them and was insinuating how I was so hard on myself. (We have had talks in the past where he repeatedly has told me not to degrade myself and I respond with I’m not trying to that’s just the logical answer). I want to continue doing things with him and practicing but I’m also worried that he didn’t enjoy it.

I feel like the more I practice and get better the less stress I will have about it. But I also like this boy so much I hate disappointing him (and anyone for that matter). How do I overcome this obstacle? Aside from practice, my crush and I discussed therapy but I also can’t afford it even with benefits. Also any tips on techniques and stuff will be greatly appreciated.