Fairly certain my DM is trying to kill my character /u/Organic-Message-7919 DnD: Roll for Initiative!

Hi all, thanks for taking the time to read.. long time luker, first time poster here.

TL;DR: My Paladin feels unfairly targeted in combat, with enemies often ignoring tactical advantages to focus/show off solely on me. It’s becoming frustrating, and I’m starting to take combat notes to see if it’s a pattern or just perception. How and when should I bring this up with my DM without disrupting the game?

My group has been together for several years, and our DM has been the DM the entire time. Its been great to see him evolve as a DM especially getting away from the “logical” within a fantasy game. Now we’ve talked/played DND for decades, and I play something different in every campaign. This particular one, I chose a certain type of paladin. My character is decent, not a min/max type character you’d typically expect from many players. As the party ‘tank’ I accept the fact that I will most likely be the target. I’m fine with that, it is what it is in this line of work. There have been several instances where my character (or me rather) had player agency removed/ignored in some situations and encounters. I hate interrupting the flow and can be -am- passive until a pattern begins to emerge. Then the mustache comes out.

I am one of three, out of 5 players who are the most engaged at the table. If there’s a chance to roleplay, we (the three) become the character. Regularly, the other players sit at the table and play on their phone or do literally anything other than be participatory until specifically called on. It’s a common point of frustration for the DM, who addresses this every single session. This becomes amplified if they land bad rolls, or didn’t get their way.

Thankfully, in the past couple campaigns, I have relaxed even further, letting the other players call their own fouls. But in this campaign, I definitely have the sense that my character is the primary target in every encounter not because I’m the ‘tank’.

For instance, with other allies nearby, the enemy wizard casts an AoE. Rather than maximize the number of targets, the AoE would be placed in such a way that only mine would be the target. I’m talking placement where moving the area even 1 square in this direction would catch other players. In this case, the AoE was one of considerable power that borrowing a few more dice for the damage rolls was necessary. My paladin, saved for half, and further used shield master evasion to avoid it all completely (since I was apparently the only intended target).

Many of the creatures we have been fighting in this published module/campaign have exceptionally strong abilities. And these potent abilities are often showcased only when my character is able to be the valid target. Heck, I watched another party member become charmed for several rounds, only to use a single level 1 spell against another player. For context, we are level 11.

The most recent was an encounter with a fiend, who was now/improved suddenly immune to fear, in addition to its other immunities/properties. I bestowed curse in R2, which I believed the DM simply ignored its list of impositions (he has an excellent memory for these things). The result being the creature going ham on my character to demonstrate its lethality.

By design, especially in official published modules/campaigns, dungeons are filled with encounters and situations that have the potential to drain party resources (potions, spells, abilities) to make the eventual BBEG encounter more dramatic. Here we are, 3 monsters in to the dungeon, my character is now at ~25% health. I get it, I’m the tank, and should expect it. But to throw wet sponges at the other players while I become the target of “look what this monster can do” is becoming frustrating.

In the end I can only play my character to the best of my ability. I accept the risk with being an 18ac ‘tank’. (And no, I have not had the opportunity for an armor upgrade) The situation I fear is that my character is killed and I: a) wait for a safe place to be res’d (if the players even have it available); b) make a new character and sit in some ‘jail’ doing nothing while waiting for the party to happen across me; c) forced to watch the DM throw softballs at the party in the meanwhile. And then there’s option d) take my toys and go home/quit.

Am I overreacting or reading too deeply into these sessions? I don’t want to make mountains out of molehills here, but I think my perception is feeding my reticular activation to focus more on these negative highlights (as they do directly impact me/my character).

I have only recently started to take combat notes for my character, which I think is silly, but may just end up journaling what happens to the other players also to see if these are one offs, or a legitimate pattern.

The question then is when/how best do I talk to the DM about it?

I don’t see any narrative implication here.. This campaign (or at least the DM) doesn’t put any effort into backstory and the DM is otherwise by the book. I’ve got a fleshed out backstory (as requested), I’ve engaged with the NPCs in this campaign who are legendary characters, even teasing that I would be interested to learn more or earn favor with at least one of them. In fact, none of our backstories have been used for any purpose, other than one character who is an odd cleric, which was more to touch on the why they are odd.

TIA, sorry for the long post..

Hi all, thanks for taking the time to read.. long time luker, first time poster here.

TL;DR: My Paladin feels unfairly targeted in combat, with enemies often ignoring tactical advantages to focus/show off solely on me. It’s becoming frustrating, and I’m starting to take combat notes to see if it’s a pattern or just perception. How and when should I bring this up with my DM without disrupting the game?

My group has been together for several years, and our DM has been the DM the entire time. Its been great to see him evolve as a DM especially getting away from the “logical” within a fantasy game. Now we’ve talked/played DND for decades, and I play something different in every campaign. This particular one, I chose a certain type of paladin. My character is decent, not a min/max type character you’d typically expect from many players. As the party ‘tank’ I accept the fact that I will most likely be the target. I’m fine with that, it is what it is in this line of work. There have been several instances where my character (or me rather) had player agency removed/ignored in some situations and encounters. I hate interrupting the flow and can be -am- passive until a pattern begins to emerge. Then the mustache comes out.

I am one of three, out of 5 players who are the most engaged at the table. If there’s a chance to roleplay, we (the three) become the character. Regularly, the other players sit at the table and play on their phone or do literally anything other than be participatory until specifically called on. It’s a common point of frustration for the DM, who addresses this every single session. This becomes amplified if they land bad rolls, or didn’t get their way.

Thankfully, in the past couple campaigns, I have relaxed even further, letting the other players call their own fouls. But in this campaign, I definitely have the sense that my character is the primary target in every encounter not because I’m the ‘tank’.

For instance, with other allies nearby, the enemy wizard casts an AoE. Rather than maximize the number of targets, the AoE would be placed in such a way that only mine would be the target. I’m talking placement where moving the area even 1 square in this direction would catch other players. In this case, the AoE was one of considerable power that borrowing a few more dice for the damage rolls was necessary. My paladin, saved for half, and further used shield master evasion to avoid it all completely (since I was apparently the only intended target).

Many of the creatures we have been fighting in this published module/campaign have exceptionally strong abilities. And these potent abilities are often showcased only when my character is able to be the valid target. Heck, I watched another party member become charmed for several rounds, only to use a single level 1 spell against another player. For context, we are level 11.

The most recent was an encounter with a fiend, who was now/improved suddenly immune to fear, in addition to its other immunities/properties. I bestowed curse in R2, which I believed the DM simply ignored its list of impositions (he has an excellent memory for these things). The result being the creature going ham on my character to demonstrate its lethality.

By design, especially in official published modules/campaigns, dungeons are filled with encounters and situations that have the potential to drain party resources (potions, spells, abilities) to make the eventual BBEG encounter more dramatic. Here we are, 3 monsters in to the dungeon, my character is now at ~25% health. I get it, I’m the tank, and should expect it. But to throw wet sponges at the other players while I become the target of “look what this monster can do” is becoming frustrating.

In the end I can only play my character to the best of my ability. I accept the risk with being an 18ac ‘tank’. (And no, I have not had the opportunity for an armor upgrade) The situation I fear is that my character is killed and I: a) wait for a safe place to be res’d (if the players even have it available); b) make a new character and sit in some ‘jail’ doing nothing while waiting for the party to happen across me; c) forced to watch the DM throw softballs at the party in the meanwhile. And then there’s option d) take my toys and go home/quit.

Am I overreacting or reading too deeply into these sessions? I don’t want to make mountains out of molehills here, but I think my perception is feeding my reticular activation to focus more on these negative highlights (as they do directly impact me/my character).

I have only recently started to take combat notes for my character, which I think is silly, but may just end up journaling what happens to the other players also to see if these are one offs, or a legitimate pattern.

The question then is when/how best do I talk to the DM about it?

I don’t see any narrative implication here.. This campaign (or at least the DM) doesn’t put any effort into backstory and the DM is otherwise by the book. I’ve got a fleshed out backstory (as requested), I’ve engaged with the NPCs in this campaign who are legendary characters, even teasing that I would be interested to learn more or earn favor with at least one of them. In fact, none of our backstories have been used for any purpose, other than one character who is an odd cleric, which was more to touch on the why they are odd.

TIA, sorry for the long post..