I have so much anxiety based on sex /u/Sea_Wrangler4798 Sex

I am a 22M and just lost my 3 year relationship because of my problem in bed, I’ve always had a problem with sex starting out with the first time, I couldn’t get hard or I came before I got hard at 16 years old. When I got with my girlfriend now who is a year older then me I had a problem getting hard for the first month and then after I broke that problem we had sex multiple times a day. We lived together for a year and a half in my parents house and then moved out on our own because she worked an hour away from where we lived at my parents so we moved to where she worked and I had to make the hour drive to work.

I would go through periods of time of me not being able to get hard and I could tell it affected her but she was good at comforting me until it was to much.

A month after we moved in together I got so in my head about having sex that our sex life was terrible and I couldn’t get hard or came way to early. She broke up with me about the sex and it’s completely made me lose my confidence.

Then on my ring camera I see she brings a girl home that she told me was just a friend but they were being way to flirty just to be friends so I confronted her about it and she told me she thinks she might be gay.

I now am so stuck in my head and don’t think I’m ever going to have good sex again and don’t know what to do. It’s completely demoralized me and makes me feel pathetic as a man and I wish I didn’t have this problem because I think I’d still be with the love of my life that I just lost.

Has anyone ever had this problem or know what steps I can do to fix it. I talk to a therapist weekly and have labs set up to check if it’s a physical thing but if it’s not physical how do I get over this?

I am a 22M and just lost my 3 year relationship because of my problem in bed, I’ve always had a problem with sex starting out with the first time, I couldn’t get hard or I came before I got hard at 16 years old. When I got with my girlfriend now who is a year older then me I had a problem getting hard for the first month and then after I broke that problem we had sex multiple times a day. We lived together for a year and a half in my parents house and then moved out on our own because she worked an hour away from where we lived at my parents so we moved to where she worked and I had to make the hour drive to work.

I would go through periods of time of me not being able to get hard and I could tell it affected her but she was good at comforting me until it was to much.

A month after we moved in together I got so in my head about having sex that our sex life was terrible and I couldn’t get hard or came way to early. She broke up with me about the sex and it’s completely made me lose my confidence.

Then on my ring camera I see she brings a girl home that she told me was just a friend but they were being way to flirty just to be friends so I confronted her about it and she told me she thinks she might be gay.

I now am so stuck in my head and don’t think I’m ever going to have good sex again and don’t know what to do. It’s completely demoralized me and makes me feel pathetic as a man and I wish I didn’t have this problem because I think I’d still be with the love of my life that I just lost.

Has anyone ever had this problem or know what steps I can do to fix it. I talk to a therapist weekly and have labs set up to check if it’s a physical thing but if it’s not physical how do I get over this?