I (18F) finally had sex with my boyfriend (18M), but he didn’t finish and I’m feeling insecure. How can I better support him and feel more confident? /u/planktonapologist Sex

My boyfriend and I recently had sex for the first time (we’re both 18 and each other’s firsts), and while it was really special, I’ve been feeling super insecure afterward.

Everything started out great—although I know he was nervous since I could feel him physically shaking under me when I first initiated it. He was super sweet, accommodating, and we didn’t feel rushed or pressured. But he didn’t finish, and I can’t stop overthinking it. He wasn’t fully hard the whole time, and when we tried PIV, it kept slipping out. Even with oral, I couldn’t get him to finish.

I asked him if it was because I wasn’t attractive enough, and he said, “No, it’s because you’re too attractive,” which honestly makes no sense to me. He kept assuring me that I’m really hot and that he liked everything I did, but I still feel bad about myself. He also told me after the fact not to worry and mentioned that his best friend told him he masturbates so much he doubts he could get hard in the same situation. When I asked about it again later, he said he thinks masturbating might be the problem and that he’s going to try to stop. He told me he does it 2–3 times a week but usually goes really fast, which he thinks could be affecting him.

What really makes me feel weird is that he made me finish, but I couldn’t do the same for him. I even told him he should break up with me if I can’t please him, but he said that’s ridiculous. I know he loves me, and he even tried to initiate sex again the last time we hung out, but I said no because I’m so in my head about all of this.

My best friend said it’s not a big deal unless it keeps happening, and her boyfriend didn’t finish their first time either, so that makes me feel a little better. But I still feel awkward and like I don’t know what I’m doing, especially with oral. If he doesn’t tell me what feels good, I have no idea how to improve.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Is this normal for first times, or could something else be going on? Does anyone have any tips for when giving a guy head? I just want to feel more confident and make this better for both of us. Thanks so much for reading and for any advice you can give!

My boyfriend and I recently had sex for the first time (we’re both 18 and each other’s firsts), and while it was really special, I’ve been feeling super insecure afterward.

Everything started out great—although I know he was nervous since I could feel him physically shaking under me when I first initiated it. He was super sweet, accommodating, and we didn’t feel rushed or pressured. But he didn’t finish, and I can’t stop overthinking it. He wasn’t fully hard the whole time, and when we tried PIV, it kept slipping out. Even with oral, I couldn’t get him to finish.

I asked him if it was because I wasn’t attractive enough, and he said, “No, it’s because you’re too attractive,” which honestly makes no sense to me. He kept assuring me that I’m really hot and that he liked everything I did, but I still feel bad about myself. He also told me after the fact not to worry and mentioned that his best friend told him he masturbates so much he doubts he could get hard in the same situation. When I asked about it again later, he said he thinks masturbating might be the problem and that he’s going to try to stop. He told me he does it 2–3 times a week but usually goes really fast, which he thinks could be affecting him.

What really makes me feel weird is that he made me finish, but I couldn’t do the same for him. I even told him he should break up with me if I can’t please him, but he said that’s ridiculous. I know he loves me, and he even tried to initiate sex again the last time we hung out, but I said no because I’m so in my head about all of this.

My best friend said it’s not a big deal unless it keeps happening, and her boyfriend didn’t finish their first time either, so that makes me feel a little better. But I still feel awkward and like I don’t know what I’m doing, especially with oral. If he doesn’t tell me what feels good, I have no idea how to improve.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Is this normal for first times, or could something else be going on? Does anyone have any tips for when giving a guy head? I just want to feel more confident and make this better for both of us. Thanks so much for reading and for any advice you can give!