Thinking of giving up with campaign, I planned it so poorly /u/PineappleCutterUpper DnD: Roll for Initiative!

Tldr: Want to give up my campaign 2 sessions in. Dont have anything planned, dont know how to move forward. Will let my group of friends down. Too stressful, dont know how to do this really.

I am really thinking of just giving up in my campaign. We are only 2 sessions in, my session zero went to shit and we didnt really cover anything I wanted to and was rushed into the world when I had nothing planned because “thats what weve always done with session zeros” even though I expressed I just wanted to go over things like character building and expectations and what not. My next session, a crucial player for the main mission was missing, so the whole thing was improvised and was cut short 2 hours early.

Aside from this, despite having 2 months of prep time I absolutely wasted, I have nothing planned. I have a bare bones idea of a campaign, with a map made, cities somewhat thought out, a pantheon of gods, for some reason a whole cosmology I fully fleshed out, like 2 npcs, and the overarching plot isnt even really there. I spent basicaly a full month of that time just trying to think of a good idea for a campaign, and it still sucks. I was happy with it at the time but now I just wish I could start over. I know its my fault for maybe biting off more than I could chew after asking to dm a game, and then not really committing fully to it, but I did try, often, to work on the campaign, and at first i thought i was doing good.

All my 4 players have full characters made with their own motives and desires and history and are fleshed out, and now all I basically have to do is connect those to the world, to what could happen, what they might run into or do or etc, and I cant. I know that sounds silly, and trust me im sat here more upset that I cant than ever, but my brain just wont. Ive been sitting here at my desk for hours, and for some reason im just struggling so much with it. To even get one plot point or milestone down. Hell, just to figure out a solid overarching plot or a big bad guy thats open for the players to interact with. Every time I sit down, I barely get anything done, and this was all supposed to be done weeks ago. I dont know how to do this.

Ive read countless articles, watched so many youtube videos, read reddit forums, talked to other dms in discord, you name it, trying to not even plan this campaign bu figure out how to! And its like I hit a wall every damn time. I dont know how to make this work.

I think part of it is that i feel a lot of pressure towards it. My players are all my close friends that weve been playing dnd together for almost years at this point. Multiple of them have dmed in the past, my closest friend just did his first ever campaign as a dm and absolutey rocked it, despite it being a more linear campaign with one direction throughout. It was great, we all enjoyed it.

My players have also all told me im doing good, even saying out of the blue how impressed they were with my fisrt session that went sideways, my ability to improv and make memorable characters on the spot.

I think I could, I think I would enjoy it, to be honest. But this is too much for me. I wish i could start over from the beggining, state my own expectations clearly on the world and on session zero and characters and everything from the getgo, and plan something im actually inspired by and want to do. ive lost all love for the original idea and just want it to be over with.

I think on that level, dnd would be fun to run. Making a world, making characters, making problems, its all fun. But im so overwhelmed, and I dont know how to move forward. I know it is supposed to be fun, for me, for everyone, thats the whole point. But I feel like im just setting myself up for months of constant stress with something I and the players arent really happy with. That simply maybe this isnt for me right now, but then also breaking that news is hard.

So, I want to give up. Ive been pushing myself to push through, get it done, get over the stress and focus, plan, and I cant. Its not working. My brain isnt braining and coming up with things. I wish the universe would just fix my brain and make this work at this point, because honestly, its not that hard. I feel like any other dm experienced or not could take whats here and make it into a really cool campaign. I feel like im actually just a little broken, and I know how that sounds and is a bit silly, but thats where Im at.

I told one of my players, who is my closest friend, that I was thinking of just starting the campaign over, since we are only 2 sessions in, and they havent really gone well, and I want to kindof reset the scene, fix some of the major plot holes, introduce them properly to the setting, and I think he got a bit upset with me, and told me not to, because they would all lose interest. And I understand that. They have all put effort into these characters, and ive barely given them anything. Starting over would just be kindof a drag on.

But I dont know how to move forward. I imagine, if i did continue, id probably eventually make it work, but it would be simply badly put together, struggling the whole way, it wouldnt be up to my standards of something I do or create, even if i enjoyed it a little at this point. So, I think honestly Im just going to give up. Break the news, dissapoint em, and then dissapear for a while from the group.

Everyone on this reddit group has been so kind and supportive giving me advice and reassurance during this process, and my friends have also been adamant on the fact that they know its my first game, and maybe ill even decide to continue after posting this, but I just… dont know how to continue. Ive got nothing. Wish i could pay an instructor or something to help me plan this out lol. Id honestly easily drop hundreds on that right now, but its too late to get a premade module, which I should have done in the first place.
Thanks everyone for the support

Tldr: Want to give up my campaign 2 sessions in. Dont have anything planned, dont know how to move forward. Will let my group of friends down. Too stressful, dont know how to do this really.

I am really thinking of just giving up in my campaign. We are only 2 sessions in, my session zero went to shit and we didnt really cover anything I wanted to and was rushed into the world when I had nothing planned because “thats what weve always done with session zeros” even though I expressed I just wanted to go over things like character building and expectations and what not. My next session, a crucial player for the main mission was missing, so the whole thing was improvised and was cut short 2 hours early.

Aside from this, despite having 2 months of prep time I absolutely wasted, I have nothing planned. I have a bare bones idea of a campaign, with a map made, cities somewhat thought out, a pantheon of gods, for some reason a whole cosmology I fully fleshed out, like 2 npcs, and the overarching plot isnt even really there. I spent basicaly a full month of that time just trying to think of a good idea for a campaign, and it still sucks. I was happy with it at the time but now I just wish I could start over. I know its my fault for maybe biting off more than I could chew after asking to dm a game, and then not really committing fully to it, but I did try, often, to work on the campaign, and at first i thought i was doing good.

All my 4 players have full characters made with their own motives and desires and history and are fleshed out, and now all I basically have to do is connect those to the world, to what could happen, what they might run into or do or etc, and I cant. I know that sounds silly, and trust me im sat here more upset that I cant than ever, but my brain just wont. Ive been sitting here at my desk for hours, and for some reason im just struggling so much with it. To even get one plot point or milestone down. Hell, just to figure out a solid overarching plot or a big bad guy thats open for the players to interact with. Every time I sit down, I barely get anything done, and this was all supposed to be done weeks ago. I dont know how to do this.

Ive read countless articles, watched so many youtube videos, read reddit forums, talked to other dms in discord, you name it, trying to not even plan this campaign bu figure out how to! And its like I hit a wall every damn time. I dont know how to make this work.

I think part of it is that i feel a lot of pressure towards it. My players are all my close friends that weve been playing dnd together for almost years at this point. Multiple of them have dmed in the past, my closest friend just did his first ever campaign as a dm and absolutey rocked it, despite it being a more linear campaign with one direction throughout. It was great, we all enjoyed it.

My players have also all told me im doing good, even saying out of the blue how impressed they were with my fisrt session that went sideways, my ability to improv and make memorable characters on the spot.

I think I could, I think I would enjoy it, to be honest. But this is too much for me. I wish i could start over from the beggining, state my own expectations clearly on the world and on session zero and characters and everything from the getgo, and plan something im actually inspired by and want to do. ive lost all love for the original idea and just want it to be over with.

I think on that level, dnd would be fun to run. Making a world, making characters, making problems, its all fun. But im so overwhelmed, and I dont know how to move forward. I know it is supposed to be fun, for me, for everyone, thats the whole point. But I feel like im just setting myself up for months of constant stress with something I and the players arent really happy with. That simply maybe this isnt for me right now, but then also breaking that news is hard.

So, I want to give up. Ive been pushing myself to push through, get it done, get over the stress and focus, plan, and I cant. Its not working. My brain isnt braining and coming up with things. I wish the universe would just fix my brain and make this work at this point, because honestly, its not that hard. I feel like any other dm experienced or not could take whats here and make it into a really cool campaign. I feel like im actually just a little broken, and I know how that sounds and is a bit silly, but thats where Im at.

I told one of my players, who is my closest friend, that I was thinking of just starting the campaign over, since we are only 2 sessions in, and they havent really gone well, and I want to kindof reset the scene, fix some of the major plot holes, introduce them properly to the setting, and I think he got a bit upset with me, and told me not to, because they would all lose interest. And I understand that. They have all put effort into these characters, and ive barely given them anything. Starting over would just be kindof a drag on.

But I dont know how to move forward. I imagine, if i did continue, id probably eventually make it work, but it would be simply badly put together, struggling the whole way, it wouldnt be up to my standards of something I do or create, even if i enjoyed it a little at this point. So, I think honestly Im just going to give up. Break the news, dissapoint em, and then dissapear for a while from the group.

Everyone on this reddit group has been so kind and supportive giving me advice and reassurance during this process, and my friends have also been adamant on the fact that they know its my first game, and maybe ill even decide to continue after posting this, but I just… dont know how to continue. Ive got nothing. Wish i could pay an instructor or something to help me plan this out lol. Id honestly easily drop hundreds on that right now, but its too late to get a premade module, which I should have done in the first place.
Thanks everyone for the support