How to talk about and improve my lack of experience, even though I have a lot of experience? /u/PaySlow964 Sex

I don’t know the best way to explain this but essentially I recently started dating a long term friend and we’re getting intimate soon (or planning on it) the problem is both of us have been with quite a few people, which doesn’t bother me. What does worry me is I don’t really count myself as “experienced”

In college I was in a fraternity and slept around a lot, and gained a reputation she knows about. However this period of my life is a blur, and also very traumatic. I essentially was hooked on drugs and booze, was assaulted and put in situations I didn’t consent to, and barely actually remember the sex. One woman I was seeing ended up blackmailing me into sleeping with her, and I kind of blacked out during the two times we had sex. She was loosely a friend during this time and definitely heard about my escapades as most of the guys who I was around just thought it was awesome with what was going on with me, and didn’t realize how bad I was until I finally opened up after a suicide attempt.

I did a lot of self work and therapy over the past few years, but I’m worried I have this reputation she knows about, however I would almost consider myself a virgin. My longest relationship was a sexless one which worked for both of us as I was traumatized after college and she was ace. However after therapy I realized I did crave physical intimacy and we weren’t compatible.

Any advice on how to talk about this and how to go through it?

I don’t know the best way to explain this but essentially I recently started dating a long term friend and we’re getting intimate soon (or planning on it) the problem is both of us have been with quite a few people, which doesn’t bother me. What does worry me is I don’t really count myself as “experienced”

In college I was in a fraternity and slept around a lot, and gained a reputation she knows about. However this period of my life is a blur, and also very traumatic. I essentially was hooked on drugs and booze, was assaulted and put in situations I didn’t consent to, and barely actually remember the sex. One woman I was seeing ended up blackmailing me into sleeping with her, and I kind of blacked out during the two times we had sex. She was loosely a friend during this time and definitely heard about my escapades as most of the guys who I was around just thought it was awesome with what was going on with me, and didn’t realize how bad I was until I finally opened up after a suicide attempt.

I did a lot of self work and therapy over the past few years, but I’m worried I have this reputation she knows about, however I would almost consider myself a virgin. My longest relationship was a sexless one which worked for both of us as I was traumatized after college and she was ace. However after therapy I realized I did crave physical intimacy and we weren’t compatible.

Any advice on how to talk about this and how to go through it?