I’m (25f) and my boyfriend (31m) and I have been struggling with intimacy in our relationship.
We’ve been together for a year, and for a few months, we were in a long-distance relationship. Six months ago, I moved closer to him, so now we meet more often, usually two days a week or once every two weeks. In the past, our sex life was great, we would have sex 2-4 times when we met.
However, about two month ago, I started visiting him more often cuz my work schedule more relaxed, sometimes staying for three days or even living with him for a full week. Since then, our sex life has become strained. He doesn’t seem as eager to initiate intimacy when we meet anymore. Now, we only have sex about once a week or sometimes not at all (even we back to not see each other so often).
He usually okay when I ask for it, but during the past three times we had sex, he couldn’t finish and said he so tired and couldn’t continue so we stop just like that.
Therefore I asked him if everything between us was still okay, and his response really schock me. He said that having me available for sex anytime makes it feel like I’m the one chasing him, rather than him chasing me. He said he’s not used to this dynamic, as he prefers to be the one pursuing. He also mentioned that my high sex drive, my constant willingness, and my frequent initiation make things feel boring for him, which has led to him losing attraction. He even said he doesn’t know if his attraction can come back or not.
I cried immediately after his answer and start questioning myself why am I like this? I love and want to feel intimacy between us and having sex with him it can prove me that we’re still attracted to each other and I‘m still that one for him, but now I completely lost my self esteem and confusing if i should continue this relationship without knowing what‘s gonna happen in the future.
He used to be the one who eagerly initiated intimacy when our relationship was new. I know he has been watching porn for many years, even before we met, and continues to do so. But now, it feels like he’s using porn as a replacement for me, even when I’m right next to him.
He wants me to move in soon but because of this situation it’s makes me confused and ask myself if i really want it to happen. So now I don’t know what should I supposed to do.
We cuddle, we travel and we still have good times together, but because there is no sexual intimacy between us, it doesn’t make me feel fulfilled and I always think that there is something missing.
Has anyone experienced this problem before and was able to fix it?
submitted by /u/OverLuck2310
[link] [comments]
r/sex I’m (25f) and my boyfriend (31m) and I have been struggling with intimacy in our relationship. We’ve been together for a year, and for a few months, we were in a long-distance relationship. Six months ago, I moved closer to him, so now we meet more often, usually two days a week or once every two weeks. In the past, our sex life was great, we would have sex 2-4 times when we met. However, about two month ago, I started visiting him more often cuz my work schedule more relaxed, sometimes staying for three days or even living with him for a full week. Since then, our sex life has become strained. He doesn’t seem as eager to initiate intimacy when we meet anymore. Now, we only have sex about once a week or sometimes not at all (even we back to not see each other so often). He usually okay when I ask for it, but during the past three times we had sex, he couldn’t finish and said he so tired and couldn’t continue so we stop just like that. Therefore I asked him if everything between us was still okay, and his response really schock me. He said that having me available for sex anytime makes it feel like I’m the one chasing him, rather than him chasing me. He said he’s not used to this dynamic, as he prefers to be the one pursuing. He also mentioned that my high sex drive, my constant willingness, and my frequent initiation make things feel boring for him, which has led to him losing attraction. He even said he doesn’t know if his attraction can come back or not. I cried immediately after his answer and start questioning myself why am I like this? I love and want to feel intimacy between us and having sex with him it can prove me that we’re still attracted to each other and I‘m still that one for him, but now I completely lost my self esteem and confusing if i should continue this relationship without knowing what‘s gonna happen in the future. He used to be the one who eagerly initiated intimacy when our relationship was new. I know he has been watching porn for many years, even before we met, and continues to do so. But now, it feels like he’s using porn as a replacement for me, even when I’m right next to him. He wants me to move in soon but because of this situation it’s makes me confused and ask myself if i really want it to happen. So now I don’t know what should I supposed to do. We cuddle, we travel and we still have good times together, but because there is no sexual intimacy between us, it doesn’t make me feel fulfilled and I always think that there is something missing. Has anyone experienced this problem before and was able to fix it? submitted by /u/OverLuck2310 [link] [comments]
I’m (25f) and my boyfriend (31m) and I have been struggling with intimacy in our relationship.
We’ve been together for a year, and for a few months, we were in a long-distance relationship. Six months ago, I moved closer to him, so now we meet more often, usually two days a week or once every two weeks. In the past, our sex life was great, we would have sex 2-4 times when we met.
However, about two month ago, I started visiting him more often cuz my work schedule more relaxed, sometimes staying for three days or even living with him for a full week. Since then, our sex life has become strained. He doesn’t seem as eager to initiate intimacy when we meet anymore. Now, we only have sex about once a week or sometimes not at all (even we back to not see each other so often).
He usually okay when I ask for it, but during the past three times we had sex, he couldn’t finish and said he so tired and couldn’t continue so we stop just like that.
Therefore I asked him if everything between us was still okay, and his response really schock me. He said that having me available for sex anytime makes it feel like I’m the one chasing him, rather than him chasing me. He said he’s not used to this dynamic, as he prefers to be the one pursuing. He also mentioned that my high sex drive, my constant willingness, and my frequent initiation make things feel boring for him, which has led to him losing attraction. He even said he doesn’t know if his attraction can come back or not.
I cried immediately after his answer and start questioning myself why am I like this? I love and want to feel intimacy between us and having sex with him it can prove me that we’re still attracted to each other and I‘m still that one for him, but now I completely lost my self esteem and confusing if i should continue this relationship without knowing what‘s gonna happen in the future.
He used to be the one who eagerly initiated intimacy when our relationship was new. I know he has been watching porn for many years, even before we met, and continues to do so. But now, it feels like he’s using porn as a replacement for me, even when I’m right next to him.
He wants me to move in soon but because of this situation it’s makes me confused and ask myself if i really want it to happen. So now I don’t know what should I supposed to do.
We cuddle, we travel and we still have good times together, but because there is no sexual intimacy between us, it doesn’t make me feel fulfilled and I always think that there is something missing.
Has anyone experienced this problem before and was able to fix it?
submitted by /u/OverLuck2310
[link] [comments]