Hi Reddit! This is a throwaway account. I F23 and my boyfriend M24 are hitting a wall in our relationship after being together for 3 years. Since he’s graduated college, we’ve been long distance due to career differences (for 2 years so far). Don’t get me wrong, when we can we try to visit each other and we make every second count by going on trips, going out to eat, or just staying in and cuddling. Now when I see him, it’s starting to get to a point where I’m feeling super sex-deprived because he doesn’t feel like he wants to have sex with me. Ik he’s not cheating on me, but after talking he’s deduced it to him watching too much porn and jacking off too much (once everyday). He said that he’ll try to reduce watching and jacking off so when we see each other it’ll help him be more horny. But idk how true that strategy is. I’ll masturbate too but when I see him, I’ll still get turned on by him without any issues. He’s relayed issues to me where he sees having sex like a chore because i demand a lot of things in order for me to orgasm (I can’t orgasm on penetration alone) and I’m too much of a pillow princess so I’ve agreed to be more proactive when we do have sex, if it even happens again. He also told me that he sees me as cute and adorable. He also sees me as sexy but more cute and adorable so he doesn’t want to tarnish that image of me by having so much sex. He also says that he doesn’t see sex as a priority and that he doesn’t need to have sex with me to love me. I agree with that but I feel emotionally closer to him when we have sex. I do initiate a lot and I usually start by tracing my hands over his body and start to kiss him and then he usually pushes me away by saying “what are you doing you little pervert?” added on with a smile or laugh and then that’s it. The last time I saw him, he did want to have sex but he didn’t have a condom and I’m not on birth control anymore due to medical reasons and I don’t want to get pregnant so we didn’t have sex. (I feel like the guy should always have a condom just in case? But it’s about to be 2025 so nvmd) I’ve been in relationships before and it’s usually the other way around where the guy is super horny and I’m not so this is new. I’m not saying I’m irresistible, but given that we’ve been together for 3 years, we shouldn’t be having this issue especially since we don’t see each other as often, it should make him more horny when he sees me? We’re having sex like once every 5 times I see him and I don’t see him every month. I want to be having sex at least once when I see him since when we do see each other, it’s at least 3 days or more. We’re in the part of our relationship where we are thinking of marriage and starting a family in the future, but this incompatibility has to change for me to feel truly satisfied with him. He checks all the other boxes, I feel loved, and cared for. He challenges me to be my best self and motivates me when I’m feeling low. It’s just the sexual side of our relationship where it lacks. Is there a way to increase his sex drive or decrease mine? Or something I can do to still have my needs met and not pressure him to do more?
submitted by /u/Gin_Tonic_Admirer
[link] [comments]
r/sex Hi Reddit! This is a throwaway account. I F23 and my boyfriend M24 are hitting a wall in our relationship after being together for 3 years. Since he’s graduated college, we’ve been long distance due to career differences (for 2 years so far). Don’t get me wrong, when we can we try to visit each other and we make every second count by going on trips, going out to eat, or just staying in and cuddling. Now when I see him, it’s starting to get to a point where I’m feeling super sex-deprived because he doesn’t feel like he wants to have sex with me. Ik he’s not cheating on me, but after talking he’s deduced it to him watching too much porn and jacking off too much (once everyday). He said that he’ll try to reduce watching and jacking off so when we see each other it’ll help him be more horny. But idk how true that strategy is. I’ll masturbate too but when I see him, I’ll still get turned on by him without any issues. He’s relayed issues to me where he sees having sex like a chore because i demand a lot of things in order for me to orgasm (I can’t orgasm on penetration alone) and I’m too much of a pillow princess so I’ve agreed to be more proactive when we do have sex, if it even happens again. He also told me that he sees me as cute and adorable. He also sees me as sexy but more cute and adorable so he doesn’t want to tarnish that image of me by having so much sex. He also says that he doesn’t see sex as a priority and that he doesn’t need to have sex with me to love me. I agree with that but I feel emotionally closer to him when we have sex. I do initiate a lot and I usually start by tracing my hands over his body and start to kiss him and then he usually pushes me away by saying “what are you doing you little pervert?” added on with a smile or laugh and then that’s it. The last time I saw him, he did want to have sex but he didn’t have a condom and I’m not on birth control anymore due to medical reasons and I don’t want to get pregnant so we didn’t have sex. (I feel like the guy should always have a condom just in case? But it’s about to be 2025 so nvmd) I’ve been in relationships before and it’s usually the other way around where the guy is super horny and I’m not so this is new. I’m not saying I’m irresistible, but given that we’ve been together for 3 years, we shouldn’t be having this issue especially since we don’t see each other as often, it should make him more horny when he sees me? We’re having sex like once every 5 times I see him and I don’t see him every month. I want to be having sex at least once when I see him since when we do see each other, it’s at least 3 days or more. We’re in the part of our relationship where we are thinking of marriage and starting a family in the future, but this incompatibility has to change for me to feel truly satisfied with him. He checks all the other boxes, I feel loved, and cared for. He challenges me to be my best self and motivates me when I’m feeling low. It’s just the sexual side of our relationship where it lacks. Is there a way to increase his sex drive or decrease mine? Or something I can do to still have my needs met and not pressure him to do more? submitted by /u/Gin_Tonic_Admirer [link] [comments]
Hi Reddit! This is a throwaway account. I F23 and my boyfriend M24 are hitting a wall in our relationship after being together for 3 years. Since he’s graduated college, we’ve been long distance due to career differences (for 2 years so far). Don’t get me wrong, when we can we try to visit each other and we make every second count by going on trips, going out to eat, or just staying in and cuddling. Now when I see him, it’s starting to get to a point where I’m feeling super sex-deprived because he doesn’t feel like he wants to have sex with me. Ik he’s not cheating on me, but after talking he’s deduced it to him watching too much porn and jacking off too much (once everyday). He said that he’ll try to reduce watching and jacking off so when we see each other it’ll help him be more horny. But idk how true that strategy is. I’ll masturbate too but when I see him, I’ll still get turned on by him without any issues. He’s relayed issues to me where he sees having sex like a chore because i demand a lot of things in order for me to orgasm (I can’t orgasm on penetration alone) and I’m too much of a pillow princess so I’ve agreed to be more proactive when we do have sex, if it even happens again. He also told me that he sees me as cute and adorable. He also sees me as sexy but more cute and adorable so he doesn’t want to tarnish that image of me by having so much sex. He also says that he doesn’t see sex as a priority and that he doesn’t need to have sex with me to love me. I agree with that but I feel emotionally closer to him when we have sex. I do initiate a lot and I usually start by tracing my hands over his body and start to kiss him and then he usually pushes me away by saying “what are you doing you little pervert?” added on with a smile or laugh and then that’s it. The last time I saw him, he did want to have sex but he didn’t have a condom and I’m not on birth control anymore due to medical reasons and I don’t want to get pregnant so we didn’t have sex. (I feel like the guy should always have a condom just in case? But it’s about to be 2025 so nvmd) I’ve been in relationships before and it’s usually the other way around where the guy is super horny and I’m not so this is new. I’m not saying I’m irresistible, but given that we’ve been together for 3 years, we shouldn’t be having this issue especially since we don’t see each other as often, it should make him more horny when he sees me? We’re having sex like once every 5 times I see him and I don’t see him every month. I want to be having sex at least once when I see him since when we do see each other, it’s at least 3 days or more. We’re in the part of our relationship where we are thinking of marriage and starting a family in the future, but this incompatibility has to change for me to feel truly satisfied with him. He checks all the other boxes, I feel loved, and cared for. He challenges me to be my best self and motivates me when I’m feeling low. It’s just the sexual side of our relationship where it lacks. Is there a way to increase his sex drive or decrease mine? Or something I can do to still have my needs met and not pressure him to do more?
submitted by /u/Gin_Tonic_Admirer
[link] [comments]