I feel bad I can’t satisfy my fiancé. /u/Quiet-Photograph-245 Sex

Me and my boyfriend (now fiance) just got engaged after a few years of dating. You’d expect us to go home and have sex to celebrate but that doesn’t happen really. Before I dated him, I was in a long term relationship with my ex. To keep things short and simple, I loved my ex, I was young and stupid. He had sa’d me twice and I still forgave him, and this led to my underlying issue with sex. Because we were younger when we dated, I was a virgin and hadn’t actually had consensual sex until then, And my only memory of sex was the not so fun experience. When I started dating my boyfriend we didn’t try to have sex until 6 months later and it was basically my first time. It took a lot of attempts but we finally had sex. The main problem is we couldn’t go more than a few minutes without me crying. I always enjoyed our sex, But i’d get overwhelmed and just cry and we’d end up stopping. I’ve had a couple panic attacks from it too. Theres only been a few times i’ve made him cum and i think it’s because i’m not satisfying him enough. He never gets mad at me for stopping or anything, but I can tell he probably wanted to keep going. I also haven’t finished before (under my own guide and his) and I’m wondering if it’s to do with my psychological impact from it? I do enjoy having sex with him, and we keep it interesting as we are both kinky people but I can’t help wondering if i’m holding back and missing out.

Me and my boyfriend (now fiance) just got engaged after a few years of dating. You’d expect us to go home and have sex to celebrate but that doesn’t happen really. Before I dated him, I was in a long term relationship with my ex. To keep things short and simple, I loved my ex, I was young and stupid. He had sa’d me twice and I still forgave him, and this led to my underlying issue with sex. Because we were younger when we dated, I was a virgin and hadn’t actually had consensual sex until then, And my only memory of sex was the not so fun experience. When I started dating my boyfriend we didn’t try to have sex until 6 months later and it was basically my first time. It took a lot of attempts but we finally had sex. The main problem is we couldn’t go more than a few minutes without me crying. I always enjoyed our sex, But i’d get overwhelmed and just cry and we’d end up stopping. I’ve had a couple panic attacks from it too. Theres only been a few times i’ve made him cum and i think it’s because i’m not satisfying him enough. He never gets mad at me for stopping or anything, but I can tell he probably wanted to keep going. I also haven’t finished before (under my own guide and his) and I’m wondering if it’s to do with my psychological impact from it? I do enjoy having sex with him, and we keep it interesting as we are both kinky people but I can’t help wondering if i’m holding back and missing out.