Seeking Advice: Navigating Birth Control and Condom Preferences in a Long-Term Relationship /u/-STUN Sex

My partner (24F) and I (25M) have been together for 5 years, and my girlfriend has been on the pill for the entirety of our relationship. When we have sex, she insists I use a condom, which I consider a small sacrifice compared to her being on the pill. My partner and I have no desire to have children.

**Disclaimer: I feel that one’s experience using condoms is entirely subjective, so please, don’t tell me how “little a difference” a condom makes.** I’ve had unprotected sex, and in my experience, the difference is significant. Initially, I was worried that nerve damage could be to blame, so I visited my urologist who said my nerves were perfectly fine.

I’ve gone through every single condom on the market, from non-latex “ultra-thin” to .01mm, “thinnest in the world” Japanese condoms. No matter what, I still feel they detract from the emotional and physical intimacy in our sex life to the extent that it could be a deal breaker for me. I desperately want to find an alternative.

This brings me to my reason for posting here. My girlfriend has absolutely ZERO willingness to even DISCUSS potential alternatives. I don’t know how to approach the subject without being labeled as the bad guy. We both hold open communication and adaptability as crucial values for maintaining a healthy relationship, but her unwillingness to discuss this matter says otherwise.

She has every right to decide what to do with her body, so alternative methods of female birth control are entirely her decision; she has made it clear that the pill is her only BC of choice. HOWEVER, I recently mentioned that I was curious about a vasectomy. She responded by guilting me for not being satisfied with condoms and that she was “unsure” whether a vasectomy would be enough to forgo condoms. I then asked if she’d be willing to read up on the data a little (vasectomy efficacy, etc.), to which she replied, “I don’t know, anything can happen. The data doesn’t guarantee anything.” I am unsure of what to do at this point. How do I move forward with this matter?

Thank you in advance.

My partner (24F) and I (25M) have been together for 5 years, and my girlfriend has been on the pill for the entirety of our relationship. When we have sex, she insists I use a condom, which I consider a small sacrifice compared to her being on the pill. My partner and I have no desire to have children.

**Disclaimer: I feel that one’s experience using condoms is entirely subjective, so please, don’t tell me how “little a difference” a condom makes.** I’ve had unprotected sex, and in my experience, the difference is significant. Initially, I was worried that nerve damage could be to blame, so I visited my urologist who said my nerves were perfectly fine.

I’ve gone through every single condom on the market, from non-latex “ultra-thin” to .01mm, “thinnest in the world” Japanese condoms. No matter what, I still feel they detract from the emotional and physical intimacy in our sex life to the extent that it could be a deal breaker for me. I desperately want to find an alternative.

This brings me to my reason for posting here. My girlfriend has absolutely ZERO willingness to even DISCUSS potential alternatives. I don’t know how to approach the subject without being labeled as the bad guy. We both hold open communication and adaptability as crucial values for maintaining a healthy relationship, but her unwillingness to discuss this matter says otherwise.

She has every right to decide what to do with her body, so alternative methods of female birth control are entirely her decision; she has made it clear that the pill is her only BC of choice. HOWEVER, I recently mentioned that I was curious about a vasectomy. She responded by guilting me for not being satisfied with condoms and that she was “unsure” whether a vasectomy would be enough to forgo condoms. I then asked if she’d be willing to read up on the data a little (vasectomy efficacy, etc.), to which she replied, “I don’t know, anything can happen. The data doesn’t guarantee anything.” I am unsure of what to do at this point. How do I move forward with this matter?

Thank you in advance.