Hi everyone,
I’m a (19F), and my boyfriend is (18M). We’.ve been together for 4 months. We’re both virgins, and while we’re in a really loving relationship, we’ve been struggling with different feelings about intimacy. I wanted to share what’s been on my mind and get some advice. For context, I’ve always felt that I wanted to wait until marriage before having sex. That’s partly because of my religious beliefs, but also because I’m scared—scared of the pain, the possibility of bleeding, and just not feeling ready yet. I also feel a lot of shame and guilt because of my upbringing, and it’s been hard to untangle all of those emotions.
My boyfriend has been really patient and has told me he’s willing to wait until I’m ready, which I truly appreciate. But the topic of sex comes up a lot, and it’s started to make me feel conflicted. When he talks about how much he wants to experience it or asks why it has to be him who waits, I know he’s just being honest about his feelings, but it leaves me feeling pressured in ways. He’s also shared his perspective, and I understand where he’s coming from. He feels judged by others for still being a virgin, especially as he gets older, and it’s hard for him to deal with the stigma that guys face. He’s also worried about waiting for me, only for something to happen to our relationship, which makes him feel like the wait might have been pointless. I know these feelings are valid, and I never want to dismiss how he feels because I care about him so much.
That being said, I feel like this difference in how we’re approaching the topic has started to take over our relationship. I miss how things were when we could just enjoy being together without this tension. I don’t want this to drive us apart, but I also don’t want to ignore how emotionally draining it’s been for me to constantly question my boundaries because I don’t want to hurt him.
It might sound bad from what I’ve shared, but he’s genuinely the most caring and supportive person I’ve ever met, and aside from this topic, he treats me perfectly. He’s different from most guys and has said he’s willing to wait until I’m ready, but I know it’s also stressful for him. Breaking up isn’t something either of us wants to consider—we’re both committed to making this relationship work.
I’m wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation and how they handled it. How do you navigate such a delicate difference without letting it take over your relationship? I want to find a way forward that works for both of us, where we can feel closer instead of further apart.
submitted by /u/indecisivelove41
[link] [comments]
r/sex Hi everyone, I’m a (19F), and my boyfriend is (18M). We’.ve been together for 4 months. We’re both virgins, and while we’re in a really loving relationship, we’ve been struggling with different feelings about intimacy. I wanted to share what’s been on my mind and get some advice. For context, I’ve always felt that I wanted to wait until marriage before having sex. That’s partly because of my religious beliefs, but also because I’m scared—scared of the pain, the possibility of bleeding, and just not feeling ready yet. I also feel a lot of shame and guilt because of my upbringing, and it’s been hard to untangle all of those emotions. My boyfriend has been really patient and has told me he’s willing to wait until I’m ready, which I truly appreciate. But the topic of sex comes up a lot, and it’s started to make me feel conflicted. When he talks about how much he wants to experience it or asks why it has to be him who waits, I know he’s just being honest about his feelings, but it leaves me feeling pressured in ways. He’s also shared his perspective, and I understand where he’s coming from. He feels judged by others for still being a virgin, especially as he gets older, and it’s hard for him to deal with the stigma that guys face. He’s also worried about waiting for me, only for something to happen to our relationship, which makes him feel like the wait might have been pointless. I know these feelings are valid, and I never want to dismiss how he feels because I care about him so much. That being said, I feel like this difference in how we’re approaching the topic has started to take over our relationship. I miss how things were when we could just enjoy being together without this tension. I don’t want this to drive us apart, but I also don’t want to ignore how emotionally draining it’s been for me to constantly question my boundaries because I don’t want to hurt him. It might sound bad from what I’ve shared, but he’s genuinely the most caring and supportive person I’ve ever met, and aside from this topic, he treats me perfectly. He’s different from most guys and has said he’s willing to wait until I’m ready, but I know it’s also stressful for him. Breaking up isn’t something either of us wants to consider—we’re both committed to making this relationship work. I’m wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation and how they handled it. How do you navigate such a delicate difference without letting it take over your relationship? I want to find a way forward that works for both of us, where we can feel closer instead of further apart. submitted by /u/indecisivelove41 [link] [comments]
Hi everyone,
I’m a (19F), and my boyfriend is (18M). We’.ve been together for 4 months. We’re both virgins, and while we’re in a really loving relationship, we’ve been struggling with different feelings about intimacy. I wanted to share what’s been on my mind and get some advice. For context, I’ve always felt that I wanted to wait until marriage before having sex. That’s partly because of my religious beliefs, but also because I’m scared—scared of the pain, the possibility of bleeding, and just not feeling ready yet. I also feel a lot of shame and guilt because of my upbringing, and it’s been hard to untangle all of those emotions.
My boyfriend has been really patient and has told me he’s willing to wait until I’m ready, which I truly appreciate. But the topic of sex comes up a lot, and it’s started to make me feel conflicted. When he talks about how much he wants to experience it or asks why it has to be him who waits, I know he’s just being honest about his feelings, but it leaves me feeling pressured in ways. He’s also shared his perspective, and I understand where he’s coming from. He feels judged by others for still being a virgin, especially as he gets older, and it’s hard for him to deal with the stigma that guys face. He’s also worried about waiting for me, only for something to happen to our relationship, which makes him feel like the wait might have been pointless. I know these feelings are valid, and I never want to dismiss how he feels because I care about him so much.
That being said, I feel like this difference in how we’re approaching the topic has started to take over our relationship. I miss how things were when we could just enjoy being together without this tension. I don’t want this to drive us apart, but I also don’t want to ignore how emotionally draining it’s been for me to constantly question my boundaries because I don’t want to hurt him.
It might sound bad from what I’ve shared, but he’s genuinely the most caring and supportive person I’ve ever met, and aside from this topic, he treats me perfectly. He’s different from most guys and has said he’s willing to wait until I’m ready, but I know it’s also stressful for him. Breaking up isn’t something either of us wants to consider—we’re both committed to making this relationship work.
I’m wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation and how they handled it. How do you navigate such a delicate difference without letting it take over your relationship? I want to find a way forward that works for both of us, where we can feel closer instead of further apart.
submitted by /u/indecisivelove41
[link] [comments]