Encouraging my partner to initiate more? /u/Suitable_Way_7386 Sex

My wife (36m) and I (37m) have a great sex life for all intents and purposes. We have sex at least daily, sometimes more.

My primary issues is that 99% of the time, I’m the person who initiates. Meaning: I initiate the sex, I initiate when/if there’s foreplay, the positions, if we use toys, if we do oral, etc. I’m also the vocal one: she will respond if I ask questions, etc.

My wife IS naturally submissive. Which I am learning to understand more.

However, sometimes I want to feel wanted. I want to feel like she wants to jump me and go for a ride or she wants to go down on me.

Yes, we have talked about it.

And it did get better for a period of time. I also recognize that sometimes she “initiates” differently than me… she may come up and give me a kiss or linger on the bed longer when I get out of the shower.

She says that she loves having sex with me, and she does climax 80-90% of the times we have sex. And I believe her.

However, one of my worst fears is making her (or any women) do anything sexually that they aren’t comfortable with.

For her, sex is hottest when I take control and “have my way with her” (her words)

Sometimes I love sex like that.

However, I would also like to be “jumped” sometimes. I don’t want to have to ask for it. (The experience of “I want you to suck on me” or “let’s flip over” feels very different from someone who craves having you in their mouth or needs to ride you)

Ladies – are any of you able to offer the viewpoint of a very submissive woman? Is there anything I can do to reframe how I look at the situation?

Men – do any of you have similar experiences and, if so, were you able to have any resolution? Are your partners more submissive??

**final observation – we have been married about 5 years now and together for about 7. Our sex used to be a little more exploratory but is still fairly “wild”/free. However, she has always had this tendency.

I love her dearly. She is the most stunning woman I’ve ever met on many different levels. I just wish I could either 1) find a way to reframe how I look at this or 2) adjust our sexual experience to where she would take some initiative 1-2x/week

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​r/sex My wife (36m) and I (37m) have a great sex life for all intents and purposes. We have sex at least daily, sometimes more. My primary issues is that 99% of the time, I’m the person who initiates. Meaning: I initiate the sex, I initiate when/if there’s foreplay, the positions, if we use toys, if we do oral, etc. I’m also the vocal one: she will respond if I ask questions, etc. My wife IS naturally submissive. Which I am learning to understand more. However, sometimes I want to feel wanted. I want to feel like she wants to jump me and go for a ride or she wants to go down on me. Yes, we have talked about it. And it did get better for a period of time. I also recognize that sometimes she “initiates” differently than me… she may come up and give me a kiss or linger on the bed longer when I get out of the shower. She says that she loves having sex with me, and she does climax 80-90% of the times we have sex. And I believe her. However, one of my worst fears is making her (or any women) do anything sexually that they aren’t comfortable with. For her, sex is hottest when I take control and “have my way with her” (her words) Sometimes I love sex like that. However, I would also like to be “jumped” sometimes. I don’t want to have to ask for it. (The experience of “I want you to suck on me” or “let’s flip over” feels very different from someone who craves having you in their mouth or needs to ride you) Ladies – are any of you able to offer the viewpoint of a very submissive woman? Is there anything I can do to reframe how I look at the situation? Men – do any of you have similar experiences and, if so, were you able to have any resolution? Are your partners more submissive?? **final observation – we have been married about 5 years now and together for about 7. Our sex used to be a little more exploratory but is still fairly “wild”/free. However, she has always had this tendency. I love her dearly. She is the most stunning woman I’ve ever met on many different levels. I just wish I could either 1) find a way to reframe how I look at this or 2) adjust our sexual experience to where she would take some initiative 1-2x/week submitted by /u/Suitable_Way_7386 [link] [comments] 

My wife (36m) and I (37m) have a great sex life for all intents and purposes. We have sex at least daily, sometimes more.

My primary issues is that 99% of the time, I’m the person who initiates. Meaning: I initiate the sex, I initiate when/if there’s foreplay, the positions, if we use toys, if we do oral, etc. I’m also the vocal one: she will respond if I ask questions, etc.

My wife IS naturally submissive. Which I am learning to understand more.

However, sometimes I want to feel wanted. I want to feel like she wants to jump me and go for a ride or she wants to go down on me.

Yes, we have talked about it.

And it did get better for a period of time. I also recognize that sometimes she “initiates” differently than me… she may come up and give me a kiss or linger on the bed longer when I get out of the shower.

She says that she loves having sex with me, and she does climax 80-90% of the times we have sex. And I believe her.

However, one of my worst fears is making her (or any women) do anything sexually that they aren’t comfortable with.

For her, sex is hottest when I take control and “have my way with her” (her words)

Sometimes I love sex like that.

However, I would also like to be “jumped” sometimes. I don’t want to have to ask for it. (The experience of “I want you to suck on me” or “let’s flip over” feels very different from someone who craves having you in their mouth or needs to ride you)

Ladies – are any of you able to offer the viewpoint of a very submissive woman? Is there anything I can do to reframe how I look at the situation?

Men – do any of you have similar experiences and, if so, were you able to have any resolution? Are your partners more submissive??

**final observation – we have been married about 5 years now and together for about 7. Our sex used to be a little more exploratory but is still fairly “wild”/free. However, she has always had this tendency.

I love her dearly. She is the most stunning woman I’ve ever met on many different levels. I just wish I could either 1) find a way to reframe how I look at this or 2) adjust our sexual experience to where she would take some initiative 1-2x/week

submitted by /u/Suitable_Way_7386
[link] [comments] 

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