My (f21) boyfriend m(27) seems turned off by me being turned on /u/No_Information_1484 Sex

Me (f21) and my boyfriend (m27) have been together for a while now. When we first got together we were in the honeymoon phase, very intimate all the time. Once we moved in together it slowed down to once a week if that.

I’ve brought up to him how it makes me feel, I’ve asked him if I’m doing anything to cause or if he’s just not as attracted to me anymore. He told me that has nothing to do with the reason why. That he just don’t feel like it anymore. He’s too insecure about his body or his performance.

I’ve expressed to him numerous times how I’ve felt and that I never want him to feel pressured into it. No means no. Hesitation means no. And it’s okay if he doesn’t want to. And each time we’ve had those talks the intimacy picks back up again. I’ve noticed a trend though. I started to wait for him to initiate it, stopped trying to myself. But if there’s ever a time where I’m in the mood and try to initiate it’ll be an immediate no. Or he’ll tease me for a few minutes then not go further. Like he’s turned off by me being turned on.

I say that in the case where he is turned on at first and has been messing with me to the point that I’m turned on, and then I’ll try to initiate and he’s turned off.

Also when we do have sex it’s great. So I don’t think it’s a performance issue.

What am I doing wrong?

Me (f21) and my boyfriend (m27) have been together for a while now. When we first got together we were in the honeymoon phase, very intimate all the time. Once we moved in together it slowed down to once a week if that.

I’ve brought up to him how it makes me feel, I’ve asked him if I’m doing anything to cause or if he’s just not as attracted to me anymore. He told me that has nothing to do with the reason why. That he just don’t feel like it anymore. He’s too insecure about his body or his performance.

I’ve expressed to him numerous times how I’ve felt and that I never want him to feel pressured into it. No means no. Hesitation means no. And it’s okay if he doesn’t want to. And each time we’ve had those talks the intimacy picks back up again. I’ve noticed a trend though. I started to wait for him to initiate it, stopped trying to myself. But if there’s ever a time where I’m in the mood and try to initiate it’ll be an immediate no. Or he’ll tease me for a few minutes then not go further. Like he’s turned off by me being turned on.

I say that in the case where he is turned on at first and has been messing with me to the point that I’m turned on, and then I’ll try to initiate and he’s turned off.

Also when we do have sex it’s great. So I don’t think it’s a performance issue.

What am I doing wrong?