Why is the idea of sex so difficult to me? /u/str4wwberry Sex

So I’ve been with my bf for a few months now, and I love him like I’ve never loved anyone before. I love hugging him, cuddling with him, small kisses and so on. We’ve made out a few times, got very close and touchy and it almost led to sex a few times. But every single times that happens, I feel blocked somehow and something doesn’t feel right. So everytime it happened, I just said no and it didn’t lead further.

Most of the time when we started to get more intimate, if we put to the side the fact that making out doesn’t seem to be my thing, I feel good and excited physically but somehow not mentally. I never seem to be able to enjoy the moment. Either I’m scared of what could happen next, or I feel like I’m not supposed to do it and that I’m not where I should be. It’s extremely hard to describe, but it’s the closest that I can get. Something that I should mention is that I’ve never had sex before of course.

After all of those events, I keep thinking about it because I feel bad for him. I keep saying no, and I see that he wants me a damn lot. He’s in front of someone that seemingly doesn’t want to do anything with him or that isn’t capable of doing so, and I can’t stop thinking about how frustrating it must be. I keep asking myself if that’s me overthinking, or if I’m asexual and so many things at once.

Please please please if someone can help or had a similar experience, some help or explanation would be welcome. And if not I wish you a wonderful day!

So I’ve been with my bf for a few months now, and I love him like I’ve never loved anyone before. I love hugging him, cuddling with him, small kisses and so on. We’ve made out a few times, got very close and touchy and it almost led to sex a few times. But every single times that happens, I feel blocked somehow and something doesn’t feel right. So everytime it happened, I just said no and it didn’t lead further.

Most of the time when we started to get more intimate, if we put to the side the fact that making out doesn’t seem to be my thing, I feel good and excited physically but somehow not mentally. I never seem to be able to enjoy the moment. Either I’m scared of what could happen next, or I feel like I’m not supposed to do it and that I’m not where I should be. It’s extremely hard to describe, but it’s the closest that I can get. Something that I should mention is that I’ve never had sex before of course.

After all of those events, I keep thinking about it because I feel bad for him. I keep saying no, and I see that he wants me a damn lot. He’s in front of someone that seemingly doesn’t want to do anything with him or that isn’t capable of doing so, and I can’t stop thinking about how frustrating it must be. I keep asking myself if that’s me overthinking, or if I’m asexual and so many things at once.

Please please please if someone can help or had a similar experience, some help or explanation would be welcome. And if not I wish you a wonderful day!