I can’t have a pleasurable time with my boyfriend because he keeps hurting me /u/TiredTyping Sex

I(26F) am having a very harsh time with my (28M) boyfriend when it comes to sex. He says he had past sexual partners and experiences before, according to him they all were okay, no traumas, no nothing.

It’s not so great in my end, I have a history with abusive sexual partners but I’m working on that in therapy so that doesn’t stop me from experiencing new things and moving on from that trauma.

I was relieved when BF told me he also had other sexual partners that went through similar experiences. We agreed that we would take things slow and that he would be patient with me.

He says I’m great in pleasuring him and that he has a very good time when I’m taking care of his needs, but that doesn’t apply to me most of the time.

I have a feeling he doesn’t understand my anatomy. He has a hard time controlling his strength and had bruised me (internally and externally) several times now. I’m trying to be patient and explain very carefully what he is doing wrong and how he should try it instead but I feel like I’m not making any progress with talking. He also has a very hard time asking any questions.

He says he will change that and will do better next time, but he keeps doing the same mistakes that I pointed out in the past. It’s a big turnoff.

I should mention these bruises (hickeys/cuts in places he’s aware I don’t like) make it really hard for me to feel pleasure at all, even if I want to masturbate later. It really sucks. Where do I go from here? Any advice?

submitted by /u/TiredTyping
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​r/sex I(26F) am having a very harsh time with my (28M) boyfriend when it comes to sex. He says he had past sexual partners and experiences before, according to him they all were okay, no traumas, no nothing. It’s not so great in my end, I have a history with abusive sexual partners but I’m working on that in therapy so that doesn’t stop me from experiencing new things and moving on from that trauma. I was relieved when BF told me he also had other sexual partners that went through similar experiences. We agreed that we would take things slow and that he would be patient with me. He says I’m great in pleasuring him and that he has a very good time when I’m taking care of his needs, but that doesn’t apply to me most of the time. I have a feeling he doesn’t understand my anatomy. He has a hard time controlling his strength and had bruised me (internally and externally) several times now. I’m trying to be patient and explain very carefully what he is doing wrong and how he should try it instead but I feel like I’m not making any progress with talking. He also has a very hard time asking any questions. He says he will change that and will do better next time, but he keeps doing the same mistakes that I pointed out in the past. It’s a big turnoff. I should mention these bruises (hickeys/cuts in places he’s aware I don’t like) make it really hard for me to feel pleasure at all, even if I want to masturbate later. It really sucks. Where do I go from here? Any advice? submitted by /u/TiredTyping [link] [comments] 

I(26F) am having a very harsh time with my (28M) boyfriend when it comes to sex. He says he had past sexual partners and experiences before, according to him they all were okay, no traumas, no nothing.

It’s not so great in my end, I have a history with abusive sexual partners but I’m working on that in therapy so that doesn’t stop me from experiencing new things and moving on from that trauma.

I was relieved when BF told me he also had other sexual partners that went through similar experiences. We agreed that we would take things slow and that he would be patient with me.

He says I’m great in pleasuring him and that he has a very good time when I’m taking care of his needs, but that doesn’t apply to me most of the time.

I have a feeling he doesn’t understand my anatomy. He has a hard time controlling his strength and had bruised me (internally and externally) several times now. I’m trying to be patient and explain very carefully what he is doing wrong and how he should try it instead but I feel like I’m not making any progress with talking. He also has a very hard time asking any questions.

He says he will change that and will do better next time, but he keeps doing the same mistakes that I pointed out in the past. It’s a big turnoff.

I should mention these bruises (hickeys/cuts in places he’s aware I don’t like) make it really hard for me to feel pleasure at all, even if I want to masturbate later. It really sucks. Where do I go from here? Any advice?

submitted by /u/TiredTyping
[link] [comments] 

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