Why am I (21M) still struggling with lasting long with my partner months into a relationship? /u/ThrowRAElectrycy Sex

As the title suggests I am at a constant psychological war with myself over the amount of time I last in bed with my partner.

For some backstory, l’m a 21M, l’ve never had a sexual relationship in my life until just a couple months ago where I lost my virginity to my partner who’s a 19F. I’ve been masturbating and watching porn since a very young age and before I could even produce sperm I was shooting blanks.

One thing I overlooked which I now realise is my whole entire life of masturbation l’ve been quick to say the least, even up to the present day. I’m a very impatient person in general and whenever I feel like getting off, whether it’s with porn or without, I just rush things and I like doing it quick, I could probably count on my fingers the amount of times l’ve actually sat down and taken my time and gone slow and tried to withdraw my orgasm.

Regardless, last night me and my partner had sex. She ended up doing lots of foreplay with my balls and shaft before giving me head, then we grinded on eachother naked. Shortly after we began penetration, we was going real slow making out etc but before you know it not even maybe thirty seconds to a minute afterwards, I came.

I felt like shit, just so embarrassed and fed up and just guilty I just sat in shame cumming I didn’t even enjoy it that much. I just feel bad for my partner, I know she’s probably in the mood and wants to get pleasured but then gets suprised and dissapointed, she never tells me directly so I think she’s trying to protect my feelings but I know deep down she probably thinks it’s pathetic, she tells me I can’t control it and she still enjoyed it but she was suprised.

After this, I asked to go round two, so l used my fingers and mouth and went again, I obviously lasted longer this time around but even then it wasn’t an outstanding amount of time, maybe a couple of minutes at a push of penetration.

But even then, this isn’t the first time either, we’ve been together for the best part of six months, I remember losing my virginity to her, that took seconds for me to cum, I remember other times where id just be bang bang bang and I would cum just like that.

The strange thing is, I also remember times where it would be enjoyable and last a while, for example a week ago, we did alot of foreplay, I ate her out and instead of pulling off and getting overstimulated as she normally would she enjoyed it and actually looked like it, then we tried doggy and I couldn’t last long going bang bang bang but I teased her and we went slow and it seemed like it went alright.

Regardless, going back to my point, I just feel like I’m constantly underperforming and disappointing my girlfriend, I want her to feel good and I want her to enjoy sex, and there are often times where we won’t have sex for up to a month at a time and I feel like that’s because she just gets bored of my shit which in the mind of a female, who wouldn’t?

Considering the fact her body count is five and mine is just one which is her, I constantly think about the fact there’s probably plenty guys that lasted a lot longer than me and she actually had good sex, I know the difference is she actually loves me and that’s why she’s with me, but I want to make a change and I want to be better for her to make her feel good in the bedroom because my own performance is just dragging my mental health and self esteem to the floor at this point.

FYI, I stopped watching porn the day I got with her, I haven’t touched that shit in six months.

Is there any advice or anybody with similar experiences that could potentially give some wise words of wisdom and help me in this case? Is there any at home remedies I can do or do I need to just go to a doctor? I appreciate all the help I can get.

TL;DR I cum too quick when I have sex with my partner and it’s ruining my mental and potentially my relationship at this point, do I have health problems, or is it due to my past history with quick masturbation, what’s wrong with me?

As the title suggests I am at a constant psychological war with myself over the amount of time I last in bed with my partner.

For some backstory, l’m a 21M, l’ve never had a sexual relationship in my life until just a couple months ago where I lost my virginity to my partner who’s a 19F. I’ve been masturbating and watching porn since a very young age and before I could even produce sperm I was shooting blanks.

One thing I overlooked which I now realise is my whole entire life of masturbation l’ve been quick to say the least, even up to the present day. I’m a very impatient person in general and whenever I feel like getting off, whether it’s with porn or without, I just rush things and I like doing it quick, I could probably count on my fingers the amount of times l’ve actually sat down and taken my time and gone slow and tried to withdraw my orgasm.

Regardless, last night me and my partner had sex. She ended up doing lots of foreplay with my balls and shaft before giving me head, then we grinded on eachother naked. Shortly after we began penetration, we was going real slow making out etc but before you know it not even maybe thirty seconds to a minute afterwards, I came.

I felt like shit, just so embarrassed and fed up and just guilty I just sat in shame cumming I didn’t even enjoy it that much. I just feel bad for my partner, I know she’s probably in the mood and wants to get pleasured but then gets suprised and dissapointed, she never tells me directly so I think she’s trying to protect my feelings but I know deep down she probably thinks it’s pathetic, she tells me I can’t control it and she still enjoyed it but she was suprised.

After this, I asked to go round two, so l used my fingers and mouth and went again, I obviously lasted longer this time around but even then it wasn’t an outstanding amount of time, maybe a couple of minutes at a push of penetration.

But even then, this isn’t the first time either, we’ve been together for the best part of six months, I remember losing my virginity to her, that took seconds for me to cum, I remember other times where id just be bang bang bang and I would cum just like that.

The strange thing is, I also remember times where it would be enjoyable and last a while, for example a week ago, we did alot of foreplay, I ate her out and instead of pulling off and getting overstimulated as she normally would she enjoyed it and actually looked like it, then we tried doggy and I couldn’t last long going bang bang bang but I teased her and we went slow and it seemed like it went alright.

Regardless, going back to my point, I just feel like I’m constantly underperforming and disappointing my girlfriend, I want her to feel good and I want her to enjoy sex, and there are often times where we won’t have sex for up to a month at a time and I feel like that’s because she just gets bored of my shit which in the mind of a female, who wouldn’t?

Considering the fact her body count is five and mine is just one which is her, I constantly think about the fact there’s probably plenty guys that lasted a lot longer than me and she actually had good sex, I know the difference is she actually loves me and that’s why she’s with me, but I want to make a change and I want to be better for her to make her feel good in the bedroom because my own performance is just dragging my mental health and self esteem to the floor at this point.

FYI, I stopped watching porn the day I got with her, I haven’t touched that shit in six months.

Is there any advice or anybody with similar experiences that could potentially give some wise words of wisdom and help me in this case? Is there any at home remedies I can do or do I need to just go to a doctor? I appreciate all the help I can get.

TL;DR I cum too quick when I have sex with my partner and it’s ruining my mental and potentially my relationship at this point, do I have health problems, or is it due to my past history with quick masturbation, what’s wrong with me?