How can I (22f) make my bf (25m) feel sexy if i don’t feel like having sex? /u/LuckyMagicBrownie Sex

i’m not sure what to do next. My boyfriend (25m) and I (22f) have been dating for a year and a half and I love him so much. We have discussed marriage, kids, and a life together; i have even partially moved in. However, our sex life has never been easy. At the start, we had sex frequently, but there was always the shame that he was never able to make me orgasm (him and everyone else). We dealt with that for a while, and tried many things but to no avail. At the beginning of the relationship, he said his ex and him rarely had sex towards the end. I assured him this wasn’t a problem for me because i had a high sex drive, or at least i did.

Whether because of my hormonal iud or not, for the past few months i have been getting recurrent yeast infections, once or twice a month. On top of this, my libido has gone down, again maybe because of my iud or another reason. It’s been an issue within the last few months where he says i don’t find him sexy because i don’t initiate often. i’ve tried harder but it’s hard for me to get in the mood. Plus, i am never very excited to have sex because i know I’ll be having to put the work in for myself and it might trigger a yeast infection.

Today, he said again i dont find him sexy and it hurts his feelings. I tell him i do and he is handsome. but i wonder if i do not actually find him sexy bc he has gained weight since the beginning of the relationship and i don’t necessarily find his body attractive. i hate to say that, and i would never tell them to him, but it is a factor. i was asking him what i could do, and telling him how i haven’t been in the mood in the past few months bc of my YIs and the pain and itchiness they cause. He said those were just excuses, and that while our emotional side of the relationship is good he is unsatisfied sexually. Currently, we are at my parents for the holidays, they live out of state, my dad had to be taken to the hospital and i got a cold two days ago. i haven’t been in the mood. i told him this is why and he said those are excuses and this has been a thing in the past few months, and that we probably aren’t going to “do anything” while he is here for the next few days.

i asked him what i could do he said he doesnt know. i told him he’s the only boyfriend ive ever had, and i dont know what i am supposed to do. he told me to read a book or something.

I love him, very, very much and I hate that he doesn’t feel sexy. However, sex has become burdensome to me and i worry if we r even right for eachother. please send guidance or advice!

i’m not sure what to do next. My boyfriend (25m) and I (22f) have been dating for a year and a half and I love him so much. We have discussed marriage, kids, and a life together; i have even partially moved in. However, our sex life has never been easy. At the start, we had sex frequently, but there was always the shame that he was never able to make me orgasm (him and everyone else). We dealt with that for a while, and tried many things but to no avail. At the beginning of the relationship, he said his ex and him rarely had sex towards the end. I assured him this wasn’t a problem for me because i had a high sex drive, or at least i did.

Whether because of my hormonal iud or not, for the past few months i have been getting recurrent yeast infections, once or twice a month. On top of this, my libido has gone down, again maybe because of my iud or another reason. It’s been an issue within the last few months where he says i don’t find him sexy because i don’t initiate often. i’ve tried harder but it’s hard for me to get in the mood. Plus, i am never very excited to have sex because i know I’ll be having to put the work in for myself and it might trigger a yeast infection.

Today, he said again i dont find him sexy and it hurts his feelings. I tell him i do and he is handsome. but i wonder if i do not actually find him sexy bc he has gained weight since the beginning of the relationship and i don’t necessarily find his body attractive. i hate to say that, and i would never tell them to him, but it is a factor. i was asking him what i could do, and telling him how i haven’t been in the mood in the past few months bc of my YIs and the pain and itchiness they cause. He said those were just excuses, and that while our emotional side of the relationship is good he is unsatisfied sexually. Currently, we are at my parents for the holidays, they live out of state, my dad had to be taken to the hospital and i got a cold two days ago. i haven’t been in the mood. i told him this is why and he said those are excuses and this has been a thing in the past few months, and that we probably aren’t going to “do anything” while he is here for the next few days.

i asked him what i could do he said he doesnt know. i told him he’s the only boyfriend ive ever had, and i dont know what i am supposed to do. he told me to read a book or something.

I love him, very, very much and I hate that he doesn’t feel sexy. However, sex has become burdensome to me and i worry if we r even right for eachother. please send guidance or advice!