Is it okay to have fantasies about friends? + Am I asexual? /u/RadioGirl6 Sex

(throwaway account) Okay, so to start, I’m (F19) relatively new to sex and sexual topics as a whole. I’ve never really been super interested in sex, even though I’m not opposed to having it. (though I do masturbate quite a bit)

I’m pan, have been attracted to all genders romantically, and currently have a boyfriend (who is openly asexual), but we’ve only really actually had sex a few times, nor am I interested in having it more. What we do do is mostly just mutual masturbation and things like that. Recently, I’ve been getting off to really vivid fantasies about some friends, (both M and F, but primarily F) even though I don’t necessarily feel attracted to them. Every time I do it, I feel really guilty because I know a lot of them would be really uncomfortable with me doing that, even though it’s probably one of the things that turns me on the most and makes me feel the best. It’s bad enough that I always feel really guilty after finishing, but still keep doing it because of how fun it is.

It’s also not like it’s because they’re conventionally/traditionally attractive either, it’s specifically friends I’m close to, some of which wouldn’t be considered conventionally attractive. I also have no active interest in asking them to do anything, even though my boyfriend says he wouldn’t have a problem with me doing things with other people.

I’m sorry if this kind of post is against the rules, I’m not sure if it qualifies as a low effort post or not. If it does, feel free to remove it. I’m just looking for some answers on where I should go from here.

(throwaway account) Okay, so to start, I’m (F19) relatively new to sex and sexual topics as a whole. I’ve never really been super interested in sex, even though I’m not opposed to having it. (though I do masturbate quite a bit)

I’m pan, have been attracted to all genders romantically, and currently have a boyfriend (who is openly asexual), but we’ve only really actually had sex a few times, nor am I interested in having it more. What we do do is mostly just mutual masturbation and things like that. Recently, I’ve been getting off to really vivid fantasies about some friends, (both M and F, but primarily F) even though I don’t necessarily feel attracted to them. Every time I do it, I feel really guilty because I know a lot of them would be really uncomfortable with me doing that, even though it’s probably one of the things that turns me on the most and makes me feel the best. It’s bad enough that I always feel really guilty after finishing, but still keep doing it because of how fun it is.

It’s also not like it’s because they’re conventionally/traditionally attractive either, it’s specifically friends I’m close to, some of which wouldn’t be considered conventionally attractive. I also have no active interest in asking them to do anything, even though my boyfriend says he wouldn’t have a problem with me doing things with other people.

I’m sorry if this kind of post is against the rules, I’m not sure if it qualifies as a low effort post or not. If it does, feel free to remove it. I’m just looking for some answers on where I should go from here.