Me (24M) and my boyfriend (28M) have been dating for almost 6 years now. We started short distance, endured a long distance relationship for 3 years, and a year ago we started living together. The thing is, sex is not working the same for the last 2-3 years. At first we thought it was the distance, or the so called “loss of the honeymoon phase”, but sex is still scarce and little/not satisfying to me anymore. He, on the contrary, seems ok with the frequency, and he is only upset sometimes when I can’t reach orgasm. My difficulties reaching orgasm are due to various reasons, but I know an important part of the problem is him not turning me on or turning me on very little. I can’t tell this to him though. I don’t want him for a second to think it’s his problem. I love him deeply. More than I love anyone in this world. I’ve already tried to address this cautiously, as a couple issue, before. We did some changes for some time, tried new things, tried to have sex more frequently… But eventually everything went back to the same situation, or even worse.
I recently started to look more to other men. I know that when you are in a long term relationship you can feel attracted to other people, and that doesn’t necessarily have to affect to your relationship. However, I think part of me longs for a relationship in which I both share love and feel attracted to my partner. But I don’t even know if this exists, as he is the only person I’ve ever been with.
Yesterday I read on the internet that he deserves someone that loves him fully, in all the ways. I strongly agree with this, but I don’t know if what is happening to me is normal in long relationships or I’m just not that someone. The idea of losing him brings me a small feeling of freedom but it also breaks my heart. He is perfect: respectful, loving, supportive… He brings light into my days. We have a future project together. He shows me frequently how much he loves me. These days I feel torn. I feel terrible hiding this from him and I don’t want to hurt him.
Is this normal in long term relationships or is it a signal I should break up with him? Please, any advice on how to address this situation or communicate with him is welcome.
TL;DR: My 6 year relationship partner doesn’t turn me on anymore (or turns me on very little). I feel divided into wanting a partner that turns me on and my love for my actual partner. It’s the first time I’ve considered leaving him and the idea breaks my heart. Is what is happening to me normal in long relationships or is it a sign I should leave him?
submitted by /u/Fit_Pomegranate_5104
[link] [comments]
r/sex Me (24M) and my boyfriend (28M) have been dating for almost 6 years now. We started short distance, endured a long distance relationship for 3 years, and a year ago we started living together. The thing is, sex is not working the same for the last 2-3 years. At first we thought it was the distance, or the so called “loss of the honeymoon phase”, but sex is still scarce and little/not satisfying to me anymore. He, on the contrary, seems ok with the frequency, and he is only upset sometimes when I can’t reach orgasm. My difficulties reaching orgasm are due to various reasons, but I know an important part of the problem is him not turning me on or turning me on very little. I can’t tell this to him though. I don’t want him for a second to think it’s his problem. I love him deeply. More than I love anyone in this world. I’ve already tried to address this cautiously, as a couple issue, before. We did some changes for some time, tried new things, tried to have sex more frequently… But eventually everything went back to the same situation, or even worse. I recently started to look more to other men. I know that when you are in a long term relationship you can feel attracted to other people, and that doesn’t necessarily have to affect to your relationship. However, I think part of me longs for a relationship in which I both share love and feel attracted to my partner. But I don’t even know if this exists, as he is the only person I’ve ever been with. Yesterday I read on the internet that he deserves someone that loves him fully, in all the ways. I strongly agree with this, but I don’t know if what is happening to me is normal in long relationships or I’m just not that someone. The idea of losing him brings me a small feeling of freedom but it also breaks my heart. He is perfect: respectful, loving, supportive… He brings light into my days. We have a future project together. He shows me frequently how much he loves me. These days I feel torn. I feel terrible hiding this from him and I don’t want to hurt him. Is this normal in long term relationships or is it a signal I should break up with him? Please, any advice on how to address this situation or communicate with him is welcome. TL;DR: My 6 year relationship partner doesn’t turn me on anymore (or turns me on very little). I feel divided into wanting a partner that turns me on and my love for my actual partner. It’s the first time I’ve considered leaving him and the idea breaks my heart. Is what is happening to me normal in long relationships or is it a sign I should leave him? submitted by /u/Fit_Pomegranate_5104 [link] [comments]
Me (24M) and my boyfriend (28M) have been dating for almost 6 years now. We started short distance, endured a long distance relationship for 3 years, and a year ago we started living together. The thing is, sex is not working the same for the last 2-3 years. At first we thought it was the distance, or the so called “loss of the honeymoon phase”, but sex is still scarce and little/not satisfying to me anymore. He, on the contrary, seems ok with the frequency, and he is only upset sometimes when I can’t reach orgasm. My difficulties reaching orgasm are due to various reasons, but I know an important part of the problem is him not turning me on or turning me on very little. I can’t tell this to him though. I don’t want him for a second to think it’s his problem. I love him deeply. More than I love anyone in this world. I’ve already tried to address this cautiously, as a couple issue, before. We did some changes for some time, tried new things, tried to have sex more frequently… But eventually everything went back to the same situation, or even worse.
I recently started to look more to other men. I know that when you are in a long term relationship you can feel attracted to other people, and that doesn’t necessarily have to affect to your relationship. However, I think part of me longs for a relationship in which I both share love and feel attracted to my partner. But I don’t even know if this exists, as he is the only person I’ve ever been with.
Yesterday I read on the internet that he deserves someone that loves him fully, in all the ways. I strongly agree with this, but I don’t know if what is happening to me is normal in long relationships or I’m just not that someone. The idea of losing him brings me a small feeling of freedom but it also breaks my heart. He is perfect: respectful, loving, supportive… He brings light into my days. We have a future project together. He shows me frequently how much he loves me. These days I feel torn. I feel terrible hiding this from him and I don’t want to hurt him.
Is this normal in long term relationships or is it a signal I should break up with him? Please, any advice on how to address this situation or communicate with him is welcome.
TL;DR: My 6 year relationship partner doesn’t turn me on anymore (or turns me on very little). I feel divided into wanting a partner that turns me on and my love for my actual partner. It’s the first time I’ve considered leaving him and the idea breaks my heart. Is what is happening to me normal in long relationships or is it a sign I should leave him?
submitted by /u/Fit_Pomegranate_5104
[link] [comments]