My (40/m) Wife (37/f) just told me she doesn’t like our sex life. /u/ThrowRAThatDad Sex

My Wife (37/F) and I (40/M) have been married for 14 years but have known eatherother and dating off and on for 25 years.

We have had our ups and downs over the years. We have had a lot of in depth conversations about our relationship and what we need to work on. Some conversations go better than others.

My wife has BPD and sometimes when we talk she tends to take everything personally. Which makes fixing issues a little hard at times. But, we love eachother more than anything and are willing to put in the work to make our marriage better.

Which is why I got caught off gaurd the other day. I am a highly sexual person, my wife is not. However, over the last I would say 8 years I have been having more issues keeping an erection while having sex. It will go start to go away while in the middle of having sex.

Normally I would focus on her during that time and either get her off another way and if I can get an erection again then I go back to having sex. What I just found out after 14 years of marriage and 8 years of struggling is that she only really enjoys it, I mean really gets into it, when I am fully hard.

So when it starts to soften she feels it and it stops hitting the area that feels good. It’s not like she isn’t getting anything out of it. She enjoys it and sometimes has to stop because she can’t catch he breath. But I am talking hitting that pleasure OMG spot.

Which means I have been teaser her for 8 years and she hasn’t said a word. I brought up last week about getting blue chew and she said oh we can talk about that later(she didn’t know what it was).

We got into another relationship talk a couple days ago. It was the most heated one we have ever had(not anger, more passionate and serious) and she blurted out “you should probably get that blue chew”. I was shocked and caught off gaurd and I was scared to ask any questions at first.

I don’t have a big ego, so I asked what do you mean. She laid it all out for me, she is happy we are good but she enjoys sex more when we first start and I am fully erect. I have been asking her to have sex with me more and more physical contact, that I have needs that aren’t being met in that area. The only question I had was why did you wait this long to say something. I could have bought these a long time ago. My blue chew should be here in a couple days. I hope this works. Can any women explain to me why she would wait and not say anything? I thought we just didn’t connect sexually. I possibly could have been having more sex with the woman I love and she could have enjoyed it more this whole time.

If anyone else has gone through this can you tell me the difference before and after pills or blue chew is the grass greener on the other side? Did it make healthy changes in your relationship with your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife?

My Wife (37/F) and I (40/M) have been married for 14 years but have known eatherother and dating off and on for 25 years.

We have had our ups and downs over the years. We have had a lot of in depth conversations about our relationship and what we need to work on. Some conversations go better than others.

My wife has BPD and sometimes when we talk she tends to take everything personally. Which makes fixing issues a little hard at times. But, we love eachother more than anything and are willing to put in the work to make our marriage better.

Which is why I got caught off gaurd the other day. I am a highly sexual person, my wife is not. However, over the last I would say 8 years I have been having more issues keeping an erection while having sex. It will go start to go away while in the middle of having sex.

Normally I would focus on her during that time and either get her off another way and if I can get an erection again then I go back to having sex. What I just found out after 14 years of marriage and 8 years of struggling is that she only really enjoys it, I mean really gets into it, when I am fully hard.

So when it starts to soften she feels it and it stops hitting the area that feels good. It’s not like she isn’t getting anything out of it. She enjoys it and sometimes has to stop because she can’t catch he breath. But I am talking hitting that pleasure OMG spot.

Which means I have been teaser her for 8 years and she hasn’t said a word. I brought up last week about getting blue chew and she said oh we can talk about that later(she didn’t know what it was).

We got into another relationship talk a couple days ago. It was the most heated one we have ever had(not anger, more passionate and serious) and she blurted out “you should probably get that blue chew”. I was shocked and caught off gaurd and I was scared to ask any questions at first.

I don’t have a big ego, so I asked what do you mean. She laid it all out for me, she is happy we are good but she enjoys sex more when we first start and I am fully erect. I have been asking her to have sex with me more and more physical contact, that I have needs that aren’t being met in that area. The only question I had was why did you wait this long to say something. I could have bought these a long time ago. My blue chew should be here in a couple days. I hope this works. Can any women explain to me why she would wait and not say anything? I thought we just didn’t connect sexually. I possibly could have been having more sex with the woman I love and she could have enjoyed it more this whole time.

If anyone else has gone through this can you tell me the difference before and after pills or blue chew is the grass greener on the other side? Did it make healthy changes in your relationship with your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife?