i don’t think my boyfriend likes pleasuring me /u/throwaway6423782391 Sex

Me (F27) and my boyfriend (M27) have been together 5 years. I’m his first girlfriend, but his second sexual partner (though I think his first partner was very brief).

I love receiving oral, and I love giving oral. When we first started dating, a few weeks after texting and getting to know him, I specifically asked him if he liked giving head. His answer was an ecstatic yes, which i loved.

I realised that was a lie during his first time giving me head (I gave him oral and we had sex 3 or 4 times before this, and i had to ask it) because i could tell he wasn’t enjoying himself. Instead of swallowing the saliva created by him licking me, he’d spit it back out onto me, meaning I was in a puddle of spit within like a minute. It also felt like he was literally “eating” me out.

After the session, I asked him why he lied to me about liking head, and he said it was because he liked the look of it in porn. He didn’t expect me to ‘taste weird’ or ‘feel slimy’. That took me aback.. but again I put it down to low experience. I knew I was sexually more advanced than him, and I had (and currently have) no problem with that.

What I do have a problem with is that, after 5 years, I still don’t feel like he LOVES pleasuring me the way I love pleasuring him. He loves sex, yes, but now I feel like that’s because he gets something out of it too. He’s extremely happy with allowing me to soak/cockwarm him whilst watching TV or while he watches porn. We do this regularly. I usually have to ask him to play with my clit or finger me which I’m okay with, but asking him to give me head often results in a disgruntled ‘okay’ or procrastination or just ‘i’m not in the mood, maybe later’. He has voluntarily given me head twice in 5 years.

I’ve spoken to him about this a lot, sometimes with tears, sometimes with anger because i’m usually sexually frustrated. I got denied again an hr ago, but I just didn’t have the energy to talk to him this time. He knows what I want. He knows what I like. Even if he didn’t know, I can guide him through it. He just doesn’t want to do it. He just doesn’t feel the same way about pleasuring me like I do him. I think he feels there’s no point, because I don’t cum. I’ve told him I can’t cum because fully relax because I’m worried about him wanting to stop or not enjoying himself.

Do I just accept that he doesn’t like oral? Am I being selfish for feeling sad?

I love this man to death. I want to marry him. I just wish someone could guide me on how I can help him enjoy pleasuring me… or tell me if this is just a lost cause.

I’m sorry for rambling.

Me (F27) and my boyfriend (M27) have been together 5 years. I’m his first girlfriend, but his second sexual partner (though I think his first partner was very brief).

I love receiving oral, and I love giving oral. When we first started dating, a few weeks after texting and getting to know him, I specifically asked him if he liked giving head. His answer was an ecstatic yes, which i loved.

I realised that was a lie during his first time giving me head (I gave him oral and we had sex 3 or 4 times before this, and i had to ask it) because i could tell he wasn’t enjoying himself. Instead of swallowing the saliva created by him licking me, he’d spit it back out onto me, meaning I was in a puddle of spit within like a minute. It also felt like he was literally “eating” me out.

After the session, I asked him why he lied to me about liking head, and he said it was because he liked the look of it in porn. He didn’t expect me to ‘taste weird’ or ‘feel slimy’. That took me aback.. but again I put it down to low experience. I knew I was sexually more advanced than him, and I had (and currently have) no problem with that.

What I do have a problem with is that, after 5 years, I still don’t feel like he LOVES pleasuring me the way I love pleasuring him. He loves sex, yes, but now I feel like that’s because he gets something out of it too. He’s extremely happy with allowing me to soak/cockwarm him whilst watching TV or while he watches porn. We do this regularly. I usually have to ask him to play with my clit or finger me which I’m okay with, but asking him to give me head often results in a disgruntled ‘okay’ or procrastination or just ‘i’m not in the mood, maybe later’. He has voluntarily given me head twice in 5 years.

I’ve spoken to him about this a lot, sometimes with tears, sometimes with anger because i’m usually sexually frustrated. I got denied again an hr ago, but I just didn’t have the energy to talk to him this time. He knows what I want. He knows what I like. Even if he didn’t know, I can guide him through it. He just doesn’t want to do it. He just doesn’t feel the same way about pleasuring me like I do him. I think he feels there’s no point, because I don’t cum. I’ve told him I can’t cum because fully relax because I’m worried about him wanting to stop or not enjoying himself.

Do I just accept that he doesn’t like oral? Am I being selfish for feeling sad?

I love this man to death. I want to marry him. I just wish someone could guide me on how I can help him enjoy pleasuring me… or tell me if this is just a lost cause.

I’m sorry for rambling.