Struggling with Guilt Over Attractions – Looking for Perspective /u/compile_commit Sex

I’ve been grappling with something personal and would appreciate insights from fellow adults.

Recently, I met a young girl at my workplace and felt an instant attraction to her. She was tall and carried herself with confidence. Later, I learned she was the 17-year-old daughter of one of my colleagues. When I found out her age, I felt a wave of guilt.

This led me to reflect on my past feelings and attractions over the last four years. I realized that about 60% of the people I’ve found myself momentarily attracted to were similarly underage at the time. All of them were tall young girls, and I never actually interacted with any of them, so never knew their age. I have never acted on these feelings – most of the time, I’ve been at a distance, glanced a few times, and then moved away, especially when I felt uncomfortable about my reactions.

I’m married, and whenever I feel attracted to someone, I make a conscious effort to leave the situation and refocus. However, these recurring patterns of attraction have started to bother me, and I feel increasingly guilty.

I’d like to understand:

• Is this normal, or does this suggest something deeper I need to address?
• How do others deal with unwanted feelings or attractions that conflict with their values?
• Are there ways to redirect or reframe these thoughts in healthier ways?

I’m committed to maintaining ethical and respectful boundaries, but I want to ensure I’m addressing this in the best way possible – for myself, my marriage, and those around me.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I welcome your thoughts and experiences.

I’ve been grappling with something personal and would appreciate insights from fellow adults.

Recently, I met a young girl at my workplace and felt an instant attraction to her. She was tall and carried herself with confidence. Later, I learned she was the 17-year-old daughter of one of my colleagues. When I found out her age, I felt a wave of guilt.

This led me to reflect on my past feelings and attractions over the last four years. I realized that about 60% of the people I’ve found myself momentarily attracted to were similarly underage at the time. All of them were tall young girls, and I never actually interacted with any of them, so never knew their age. I have never acted on these feelings – most of the time, I’ve been at a distance, glanced a few times, and then moved away, especially when I felt uncomfortable about my reactions.

I’m married, and whenever I feel attracted to someone, I make a conscious effort to leave the situation and refocus. However, these recurring patterns of attraction have started to bother me, and I feel increasingly guilty.

I’d like to understand:

• Is this normal, or does this suggest something deeper I need to address?
• How do others deal with unwanted feelings or attractions that conflict with their values?
• Are there ways to redirect or reframe these thoughts in healthier ways?

I’m committed to maintaining ethical and respectful boundaries, but I want to ensure I’m addressing this in the best way possible – for myself, my marriage, and those around me.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I welcome your thoughts and experiences.