Need some advice and a different point of view. (Also, apologies in advance for any mistakes—I have dyslexia.) /u/Ferrynator DnD: Roll for Initiative!

Hi everyone,

Sorry for the long post; I’m just trying to put my feelings into words. Why am I turning to Reddit? All my players are real-life friends, and my girlfriend of almost 10 years is also part of the group. I want a neutral perspective on this situation.

I’ve been a DM for almost a year now. We started in February, and it’s a big group—7 people total (6 players and me as the DM). We’re all friends and often hang out at events together in real life.

However, in all this time, none of the players have read the Player’s Handbook. I’ve asked them to at least read the sections on their race and class, but nobody has. They still struggle with basic mechanics, like knowing which dice to roll for skill checks (e.g., using a d20).

This feels frustrating, especially since they’re all highly educated people. On top of that, everything feels last-minute. Some players even forget we have a session. I feel more like a caretaker than a DM—like a parent constantly checking the calendar and guiding them through every single step of the process.

I’ve been trying to improve as a DM and often ask for feedback. They always say they enjoy the sessions and appreciate the effort I put in. I’ve created detailed journals for NPCs, made custom maps using Inkarnate, and even sent out anonymous Google surveys to get feedback.

But lately, I feel drained. Most of the players don’t have a backstory, or if they do, it’s incomplete. I’ve offered to help, saying, “Just PM me if you need assistance—I’d be happy to work with you.” Two players have put effort into their characters, but the rest haven’t done much.

For example, I’ve asked them to think about where their characters are from (a country or village) for the world map I’m making. Only two out of six players did this. I even scheduled appointments with some players to finalize their backgrounds, but they ignored my messages or ghosted me.

(I do understand that one of my players is dealing with burnout, and I’ve messaged them saying we can reschedule or postpone if needed. I’ve been through burnout and depression myself, so I get it—but ghosting someone feels like a punch in the gut.)

At this point, I just wish they’d put a little more effort into their characters—not even the rules, just their characters.

I know I need to sit down with the players and have a conversation. I already talked to them as a group two months ago, and I’ve communicated with individuals one-on-one.

So why am I here? Because Reddit is neutral, and I’d love your perspective.

Do you think it’s reasonable to send a group message saying, “This has been fun, but I’m ending the campaign”? Should I wait it out? Or maybe put the campaign on pause?

Thanks for reading my poorly written vent. If you need more details, feel free to ask.

Hi everyone,

Sorry for the long post; I’m just trying to put my feelings into words. Why am I turning to Reddit? All my players are real-life friends, and my girlfriend of almost 10 years is also part of the group. I want a neutral perspective on this situation.

I’ve been a DM for almost a year now. We started in February, and it’s a big group—7 people total (6 players and me as the DM). We’re all friends and often hang out at events together in real life.

However, in all this time, none of the players have read the Player’s Handbook. I’ve asked them to at least read the sections on their race and class, but nobody has. They still struggle with basic mechanics, like knowing which dice to roll for skill checks (e.g., using a d20).

This feels frustrating, especially since they’re all highly educated people. On top of that, everything feels last-minute. Some players even forget we have a session. I feel more like a caretaker than a DM—like a parent constantly checking the calendar and guiding them through every single step of the process.

I’ve been trying to improve as a DM and often ask for feedback. They always say they enjoy the sessions and appreciate the effort I put in. I’ve created detailed journals for NPCs, made custom maps using Inkarnate, and even sent out anonymous Google surveys to get feedback.

But lately, I feel drained. Most of the players don’t have a backstory, or if they do, it’s incomplete. I’ve offered to help, saying, “Just PM me if you need assistance—I’d be happy to work with you.” Two players have put effort into their characters, but the rest haven’t done much.

For example, I’ve asked them to think about where their characters are from (a country or village) for the world map I’m making. Only two out of six players did this. I even scheduled appointments with some players to finalize their backgrounds, but they ignored my messages or ghosted me.

(I do understand that one of my players is dealing with burnout, and I’ve messaged them saying we can reschedule or postpone if needed. I’ve been through burnout and depression myself, so I get it—but ghosting someone feels like a punch in the gut.)

At this point, I just wish they’d put a little more effort into their characters—not even the rules, just their characters.

I know I need to sit down with the players and have a conversation. I already talked to them as a group two months ago, and I’ve communicated with individuals one-on-one.

So why am I here? Because Reddit is neutral, and I’d love your perspective.

Do you think it’s reasonable to send a group message saying, “This has been fun, but I’m ending the campaign”? Should I wait it out? Or maybe put the campaign on pause?

Thanks for reading my poorly written vent. If you need more details, feel free to ask.