Apparently this hasn’t been posted for a few years so I wanted to spread the gospel. OP as far as I can tell: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5iikbf/comment/db8ivo7
—————
Women like it when you fondle their… minds.
There are two parts to sexual tension:
• Build-up: flirting, foreplay, etc.
• Release: sex.
Where some guys go wrong is trying to skip from build-up to release. This usually fails. Like trying to pop an empty balloon. The better the build-up, the greater the release.
If you get the build-up right, the release will almost take care of itself. You and your partner will find ways to release. Often spontaneous, exciting ways that are better than what you could have planned. Initiating will happen (by you or her) nearly effortlessly.
There’s a saying that men are like microwaves and women are like ovens. Men get horny fast and it’s over fast. Women are slower to heat up but last longer.
What I’ve found works best when flirting in a relationship is to consistently keep your girl at a simmer, so she’s always more open to the idea of sexy times.
You might tap into her lust that day, you might not. You have that luxury to choose. Sometimes it builds up so much passion that she has to jump on you instead.
Her mind is a major erogenous zone. Words, metaphors and imagery can be a huge turn-on. Language and hints are her porn.
Ideas:
• Physical affection and touching.
• Flirting and teasing. Talk, phone calls, text.
• Do romantic things for her–outside of normal holidays. Big gestures can come off as desperate and needy. I’ve found little things can be deadly effective, e.g. cute post-it notes, a pack of her favorite snack on her desk at work, etc.
• Hot tip: if you know when she’s on her period or going through tough times and do something nice for her unexpectedly (like when you’re not there with her), it’s 10x more powerful. Thoughtfulness trumps the amount of money spent.
Women seem to love little pleasant surprises and variety. Don’t do it all the time to the point you drown her in affection and kill the effect; enough to get her excited once in a while and keep her on her toes.
The key is to don’t do these things only when you want sex that day. Women figure that out fast and feel manipulated. That’s when they start to get suspicious and resentful whenever you do something nice for them, because they think a request for sex is coming.
Foreplay is an ongoing process. The foreplay started with that compliment you gave her on the hot new dress she bought last week. On the flip side, maybe she’s denying sex now because you argued with her best friend six months ago.
Easier to flirt all the time, but not escalate to sex every time. Make it a lottery, not an ATM transaction. Random, unpredictable payoffs are addictive (ask any gambler).
An additional reason why this works so well is because it’s not abrupt. Sometimes an attempt at initiating sex comes off as a “Right now, yes or no?” and if she had a bad day at work, had an argument with friends or family, or she just feels gross and wants to take a shower, then it’s no-go.
It might even be a medical or hygiene issue and she needs more “prep time” for sex than a man. Her saying “no” might have nothing to do with you, and everything to do with how she feels.
If it’s a new relationship and you’ve hooked up with her a few times: when you’re out of bed, remind her of a specific detail. Something she would associate with sexy times. A special naughty secret only you two would know. Make it a secret game for only the two of you.
I did this accidentally the first few times by being flirty and goofy and just trying to make things fun. Eventually I caught on to the effect it had on girls.
For example, there was a girl who liked to tie her hair back before we would get down to it. Sometimes, I’d hold her long hair in my hand instead. She really liked having her hair pulled.
• One time, she was washing her face. I saw some hairs straying, so I helpfully swept back some of her hair and gripped it in my hand. She shivered a little and immediately gave me that hungry look. That was by accident, before I realized it was a turn-on.
• She texted me she was coming over. I jokingly texted her back: “Bring a hair tie.” Then I went back to watching TV and promptly forgot about it. She told me later that drove her wild. She couldn’t drive fast enough.
• At a boring party, I whispered in her ear: “Let’s get out of here and go somewhere you can put up your hair for me.” She grabbed my hand and pulled me along into an empty room.
• If you’re feeling daring and risque, reference that sexy thing with innocent-sounding language when you’re both among other people. “Ah yes, my girlfriend always has the prettiest hair ties,” you say, while giving her a knowing, naughty look. Warning: some girls are horrified by this. Others get embarrassed but also crazy turned-on and will act on it with you later in private.
• Send her a flirty reference just when she’s arrived at work. Girls hate it that they’re all turned on but stuck at work thinking about doing it all day long. Let her lust build. Sexual tension builds precisely when it cannot be released. Brace yourself to get pounced on when she gets home. I once texted her a picture of a hair tie in my hand. No message.
Mix it up: spoken, written, visual, little actions. Feel free to get creative.
Let her get turned on and writhe in anticipation because she doesn’t know when you’ll make your move. It’s okay to drive her crazy this way. She secretly desires that sweet torture. It’s all about “The Long Tease.”
It’s not manipulation, it’s appreciation. You’re making the extra effort to keep things exciting. You’re reminding her how sexy she is, and how sexy she makes you feel.
Other examples:
• One girl had this set of high-heeled shoes she always wore when she wanted to seduce me. If she came over wearing those shoes, you knew it was on. She’d rub one foot against the other ankle to draw my eyes to her legs.
• One girl would spray on this special perfume she knew drove me crazy. When saying hello she’d hug me extra tight so I’d smell her.
• One girl would reference the time we were late for a party because we were having too much fun fooling around. She’d say things like, “Well, we could always be late . . . ”
Every woman has her “hair tie.” What’s your woman’s?
Remember it. Remind her of it. Have fun.
Warning: this can backfire. Once a girl gets into it she’ll often turn the tables and start doing sexy things to turn you on all the time. Their creativity at being naughty knows no limits when unleashed.
The kinds of phone calls, texts and photos you get from a girl who’s running hot are mind-blowing. Imagine getting more material than you can keep up with. A nice problem to have.
Hot tip: respect her in public, but keep seducing her in private. A guy who “gets it” like that is a rare prize for women.
This is a mind shift, but experiment with treating your mission as your SO and your SO as your mistress. I think some women like that they don’t have to bear the burden of being your world, your everything.
Don’t spend 100 percent of your time with her. You have work, hobbies and friends, a well-rounded life. Give her the gift of missing you. Ideally, she should be drowning in sexy anticipation, wondering when you’re going up and ravish her.
She’s the fun escape from work; she’s the sexy distraction that pulls you away from time to time. Helps to keep up the flirty vibe.
Hope this helps.
submitted by /u/BigSwim9724
[link] [comments]
r/sex Apparently this hasn’t been posted for a few years so I wanted to spread the gospel. OP as far as I can tell: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5iikbf/comment/db8ivo7 ————— Women like it when you fondle their… minds. There are two parts to sexual tension: • Build-up: flirting, foreplay, etc. • Release: sex. Where some guys go wrong is trying to skip from build-up to release. This usually fails. Like trying to pop an empty balloon. The better the build-up, the greater the release. If you get the build-up right, the release will almost take care of itself. You and your partner will find ways to release. Often spontaneous, exciting ways that are better than what you could have planned. Initiating will happen (by you or her) nearly effortlessly. There’s a saying that men are like microwaves and women are like ovens. Men get horny fast and it’s over fast. Women are slower to heat up but last longer. What I’ve found works best when flirting in a relationship is to consistently keep your girl at a simmer, so she’s always more open to the idea of sexy times. You might tap into her lust that day, you might not. You have that luxury to choose. Sometimes it builds up so much passion that she has to jump on you instead. Her mind is a major erogenous zone. Words, metaphors and imagery can be a huge turn-on. Language and hints are her porn. Ideas: • Physical affection and touching. • Flirting and teasing. Talk, phone calls, text. • Do romantic things for her–outside of normal holidays. Big gestures can come off as desperate and needy. I’ve found little things can be deadly effective, e.g. cute post-it notes, a pack of her favorite snack on her desk at work, etc. • Hot tip: if you know when she’s on her period or going through tough times and do something nice for her unexpectedly (like when you’re not there with her), it’s 10x more powerful. Thoughtfulness trumps the amount of money spent. Women seem to love little pleasant surprises and variety. Don’t do it all the time to the point you drown her in affection and kill the effect; enough to get her excited once in a while and keep her on her toes. The key is to don’t do these things only when you want sex that day. Women figure that out fast and feel manipulated. That’s when they start to get suspicious and resentful whenever you do something nice for them, because they think a request for sex is coming. Foreplay is an ongoing process. The foreplay started with that compliment you gave her on the hot new dress she bought last week. On the flip side, maybe she’s denying sex now because you argued with her best friend six months ago. Easier to flirt all the time, but not escalate to sex every time. Make it a lottery, not an ATM transaction. Random, unpredictable payoffs are addictive (ask any gambler). An additional reason why this works so well is because it’s not abrupt. Sometimes an attempt at initiating sex comes off as a “Right now, yes or no?” and if she had a bad day at work, had an argument with friends or family, or she just feels gross and wants to take a shower, then it’s no-go. It might even be a medical or hygiene issue and she needs more “prep time” for sex than a man. Her saying “no” might have nothing to do with you, and everything to do with how she feels. If it’s a new relationship and you’ve hooked up with her a few times: when you’re out of bed, remind her of a specific detail. Something she would associate with sexy times. A special naughty secret only you two would know. Make it a secret game for only the two of you. I did this accidentally the first few times by being flirty and goofy and just trying to make things fun. Eventually I caught on to the effect it had on girls. For example, there was a girl who liked to tie her hair back before we would get down to it. Sometimes, I’d hold her long hair in my hand instead. She really liked having her hair pulled. • One time, she was washing her face. I saw some hairs straying, so I helpfully swept back some of her hair and gripped it in my hand. She shivered a little and immediately gave me that hungry look. That was by accident, before I realized it was a turn-on. • She texted me she was coming over. I jokingly texted her back: “Bring a hair tie.” Then I went back to watching TV and promptly forgot about it. She told me later that drove her wild. She couldn’t drive fast enough. • At a boring party, I whispered in her ear: “Let’s get out of here and go somewhere you can put up your hair for me.” She grabbed my hand and pulled me along into an empty room. • If you’re feeling daring and risque, reference that sexy thing with innocent-sounding language when you’re both among other people. “Ah yes, my girlfriend always has the prettiest hair ties,” you say, while giving her a knowing, naughty look. Warning: some girls are horrified by this. Others get embarrassed but also crazy turned-on and will act on it with you later in private. • Send her a flirty reference just when she’s arrived at work. Girls hate it that they’re all turned on but stuck at work thinking about doing it all day long. Let her lust build. Sexual tension builds precisely when it cannot be released. Brace yourself to get pounced on when she gets home. I once texted her a picture of a hair tie in my hand. No message. Mix it up: spoken, written, visual, little actions. Feel free to get creative. Let her get turned on and writhe in anticipation because she doesn’t know when you’ll make your move. It’s okay to drive her crazy this way. She secretly desires that sweet torture. It’s all about “The Long Tease.” It’s not manipulation, it’s appreciation. You’re making the extra effort to keep things exciting. You’re reminding her how sexy she is, and how sexy she makes you feel. Other examples: • One girl had this set of high-heeled shoes she always wore when she wanted to seduce me. If she came over wearing those shoes, you knew it was on. She’d rub one foot against the other ankle to draw my eyes to her legs. • One girl would spray on this special perfume she knew drove me crazy. When saying hello she’d hug me extra tight so I’d smell her. • One girl would reference the time we were late for a party because we were having too much fun fooling around. She’d say things like, “Well, we could always be late . . . ” Every woman has her “hair tie.” What’s your woman’s? Remember it. Remind her of it. Have fun. Warning: this can backfire. Once a girl gets into it she’ll often turn the tables and start doing sexy things to turn you on all the time. Their creativity at being naughty knows no limits when unleashed. The kinds of phone calls, texts and photos you get from a girl who’s running hot are mind-blowing. Imagine getting more material than you can keep up with. A nice problem to have. Hot tip: respect her in public, but keep seducing her in private. A guy who “gets it” like that is a rare prize for women. This is a mind shift, but experiment with treating your mission as your SO and your SO as your mistress. I think some women like that they don’t have to bear the burden of being your world, your everything. Don’t spend 100 percent of your time with her. You have work, hobbies and friends, a well-rounded life. Give her the gift of missing you. Ideally, she should be drowning in sexy anticipation, wondering when you’re going up and ravish her. She’s the fun escape from work; she’s the sexy distraction that pulls you away from time to time. Helps to keep up the flirty vibe. Hope this helps. submitted by /u/BigSwim9724 [link] [comments]
Apparently this hasn’t been posted for a few years so I wanted to spread the gospel. OP as far as I can tell: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5iikbf/comment/db8ivo7
—————
Women like it when you fondle their… minds.
There are two parts to sexual tension:
• Build-up: flirting, foreplay, etc.
• Release: sex.
Where some guys go wrong is trying to skip from build-up to release. This usually fails. Like trying to pop an empty balloon. The better the build-up, the greater the release.
If you get the build-up right, the release will almost take care of itself. You and your partner will find ways to release. Often spontaneous, exciting ways that are better than what you could have planned. Initiating will happen (by you or her) nearly effortlessly.
There’s a saying that men are like microwaves and women are like ovens. Men get horny fast and it’s over fast. Women are slower to heat up but last longer.
What I’ve found works best when flirting in a relationship is to consistently keep your girl at a simmer, so she’s always more open to the idea of sexy times.
You might tap into her lust that day, you might not. You have that luxury to choose. Sometimes it builds up so much passion that she has to jump on you instead.
Her mind is a major erogenous zone. Words, metaphors and imagery can be a huge turn-on. Language and hints are her porn.
Ideas:
• Physical affection and touching.
• Flirting and teasing. Talk, phone calls, text.
• Do romantic things for her–outside of normal holidays. Big gestures can come off as desperate and needy. I’ve found little things can be deadly effective, e.g. cute post-it notes, a pack of her favorite snack on her desk at work, etc.
• Hot tip: if you know when she’s on her period or going through tough times and do something nice for her unexpectedly (like when you’re not there with her), it’s 10x more powerful. Thoughtfulness trumps the amount of money spent.
Women seem to love little pleasant surprises and variety. Don’t do it all the time to the point you drown her in affection and kill the effect; enough to get her excited once in a while and keep her on her toes.
The key is to don’t do these things only when you want sex that day. Women figure that out fast and feel manipulated. That’s when they start to get suspicious and resentful whenever you do something nice for them, because they think a request for sex is coming.
Foreplay is an ongoing process. The foreplay started with that compliment you gave her on the hot new dress she bought last week. On the flip side, maybe she’s denying sex now because you argued with her best friend six months ago.
Easier to flirt all the time, but not escalate to sex every time. Make it a lottery, not an ATM transaction. Random, unpredictable payoffs are addictive (ask any gambler).
An additional reason why this works so well is because it’s not abrupt. Sometimes an attempt at initiating sex comes off as a “Right now, yes or no?” and if she had a bad day at work, had an argument with friends or family, or she just feels gross and wants to take a shower, then it’s no-go.
It might even be a medical or hygiene issue and she needs more “prep time” for sex than a man. Her saying “no” might have nothing to do with you, and everything to do with how she feels.
If it’s a new relationship and you’ve hooked up with her a few times: when you’re out of bed, remind her of a specific detail. Something she would associate with sexy times. A special naughty secret only you two would know. Make it a secret game for only the two of you.
I did this accidentally the first few times by being flirty and goofy and just trying to make things fun. Eventually I caught on to the effect it had on girls.
For example, there was a girl who liked to tie her hair back before we would get down to it. Sometimes, I’d hold her long hair in my hand instead. She really liked having her hair pulled.
• One time, she was washing her face. I saw some hairs straying, so I helpfully swept back some of her hair and gripped it in my hand. She shivered a little and immediately gave me that hungry look. That was by accident, before I realized it was a turn-on.
• She texted me she was coming over. I jokingly texted her back: “Bring a hair tie.” Then I went back to watching TV and promptly forgot about it. She told me later that drove her wild. She couldn’t drive fast enough.
• At a boring party, I whispered in her ear: “Let’s get out of here and go somewhere you can put up your hair for me.” She grabbed my hand and pulled me along into an empty room.
• If you’re feeling daring and risque, reference that sexy thing with innocent-sounding language when you’re both among other people. “Ah yes, my girlfriend always has the prettiest hair ties,” you say, while giving her a knowing, naughty look. Warning: some girls are horrified by this. Others get embarrassed but also crazy turned-on and will act on it with you later in private.
• Send her a flirty reference just when she’s arrived at work. Girls hate it that they’re all turned on but stuck at work thinking about doing it all day long. Let her lust build. Sexual tension builds precisely when it cannot be released. Brace yourself to get pounced on when she gets home. I once texted her a picture of a hair tie in my hand. No message.
Mix it up: spoken, written, visual, little actions. Feel free to get creative.
Let her get turned on and writhe in anticipation because she doesn’t know when you’ll make your move. It’s okay to drive her crazy this way. She secretly desires that sweet torture. It’s all about “The Long Tease.”
It’s not manipulation, it’s appreciation. You’re making the extra effort to keep things exciting. You’re reminding her how sexy she is, and how sexy she makes you feel.
Other examples:
• One girl had this set of high-heeled shoes she always wore when she wanted to seduce me. If she came over wearing those shoes, you knew it was on. She’d rub one foot against the other ankle to draw my eyes to her legs.
• One girl would spray on this special perfume she knew drove me crazy. When saying hello she’d hug me extra tight so I’d smell her.
• One girl would reference the time we were late for a party because we were having too much fun fooling around. She’d say things like, “Well, we could always be late . . . ”
Every woman has her “hair tie.” What’s your woman’s?
Remember it. Remind her of it. Have fun.
Warning: this can backfire. Once a girl gets into it she’ll often turn the tables and start doing sexy things to turn you on all the time. Their creativity at being naughty knows no limits when unleashed.
The kinds of phone calls, texts and photos you get from a girl who’s running hot are mind-blowing. Imagine getting more material than you can keep up with. A nice problem to have.
Hot tip: respect her in public, but keep seducing her in private. A guy who “gets it” like that is a rare prize for women.
This is a mind shift, but experiment with treating your mission as your SO and your SO as your mistress. I think some women like that they don’t have to bear the burden of being your world, your everything.
Don’t spend 100 percent of your time with her. You have work, hobbies and friends, a well-rounded life. Give her the gift of missing you. Ideally, she should be drowning in sexy anticipation, wondering when you’re going up and ravish her.
She’s the fun escape from work; she’s the sexy distraction that pulls you away from time to time. Helps to keep up the flirty vibe.
Hope this helps.
submitted by /u/BigSwim9724
[link] [comments]