Had the worst sex of my entire life, am I wrong for not wanting to work on it with him? /u/pichincha_chicharron Sex

So I (29F) met a really nice guy (34M) & saw him for a few weeks before getting intimate.

Anyway, when we did, it was just… absolutely terrible. I felt like one of those sex workers that’s hired to help a man overcome his sexual insecurities. He hadn’t slept with anyone in 7 or 8 years. He said he was all in his head, couldn’t get hard, & I shut down twice before finally coaching him through the whole thing. During the act he started cheering HIMSELF on saying “you’re so smart, hardworking… you can do it”, etc. but couldn’t finish. it honestly hurt me, I wasn’t turned on at all, but I suffered through it because I hadn’t slept with anyone in 2 years & just wanted to get over my own overthinking with it.

He said I was “amazing” for working through that with him, but it honestly felt like such a chore. I think of myself as a nice girl, & i laughed so hard about it after with a close friend the next day just to cope, but I don’t want it to be so difficult. I just want to be really attracted to someone & it be… easier than that? I’ve had sex with other people & know it takes a bit to get over the awkwardness, but this was truly unprecedentedly bad & I don’t know whether it’s something I can or should work through with him on.

We talked about it after & concluded it may be because he watches too much porn, etc. & we can work on it, but it feels like too much for me to handle. I do know that most of his overthinking comes from worrying about “doing it right” & “not messing up” so it’s coming from a good place, but I just don’t want to be exclusive with someone that needs so much help. Having sex again after 2 years just makes me want to date around, maybe sleep with a woman (I’m bi but never done it), etc.

Am I wrong for dropping a “nice guy” over that? He’s trying so hard to fit me into his life & I’ve been single for a really long time, but I am struggling to find him SUPER attractive, & even more after that. I was giving it a chance because I’ve been REALLY attracted to people who weren’t good for me at all, so I was trying to go for something different.

Have yall had this experience?

So I (29F) met a really nice guy (34M) & saw him for a few weeks before getting intimate.

Anyway, when we did, it was just… absolutely terrible. I felt like one of those sex workers that’s hired to help a man overcome his sexual insecurities. He hadn’t slept with anyone in 7 or 8 years. He said he was all in his head, couldn’t get hard, & I shut down twice before finally coaching him through the whole thing. During the act he started cheering HIMSELF on saying “you’re so smart, hardworking… you can do it”, etc. but couldn’t finish. it honestly hurt me, I wasn’t turned on at all, but I suffered through it because I hadn’t slept with anyone in 2 years & just wanted to get over my own overthinking with it.

He said I was “amazing” for working through that with him, but it honestly felt like such a chore. I think of myself as a nice girl, & i laughed so hard about it after with a close friend the next day just to cope, but I don’t want it to be so difficult. I just want to be really attracted to someone & it be… easier than that? I’ve had sex with other people & know it takes a bit to get over the awkwardness, but this was truly unprecedentedly bad & I don’t know whether it’s something I can or should work through with him on.

We talked about it after & concluded it may be because he watches too much porn, etc. & we can work on it, but it feels like too much for me to handle. I do know that most of his overthinking comes from worrying about “doing it right” & “not messing up” so it’s coming from a good place, but I just don’t want to be exclusive with someone that needs so much help. Having sex again after 2 years just makes me want to date around, maybe sleep with a woman (I’m bi but never done it), etc.

Am I wrong for dropping a “nice guy” over that? He’s trying so hard to fit me into his life & I’ve been single for a really long time, but I am struggling to find him SUPER attractive, & even more after that. I was giving it a chance because I’ve been REALLY attracted to people who weren’t good for me at all, so I was trying to go for something different.

Have yall had this experience?