Overcoming opposite sexual histories /u/1234ahayeah Sex

Please help. I feel like I’m about to blow the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

I know this post happens here like all the time. And I’m sorry to contribute another one. I ask you to please give your man some grace here. If this sounds so silly I grew up in a religious environment and I am trying so hard to overcome this.

I (28M) have been dating my girlfriend (30F) for five months now. She is a beautiful woman who cares for me on a level I’ve never experienced. She loves how I look physically, and is an effective communicator. It’s everything I could ask for in a partner. This is someone I could 100% build a safe future with.

I’ve only had one sexual partner, a long term relationship that started in college and ended this year. It ended amicably, but towards the end she felt physically repelled by me for the last year or two. It was tough not to feel unwanted or unattractive.

When I started dating again, I was ready to try any experience, and the very first date I went on was this beautiful woman who really developed a deep connection with me very quickly. I lucked out on this! We knew something long term was the obvious choice.

Since then, our histories came up (I know the answer now is don’t ever talk about this and there’s no point) and we’ve had pretty opposite experiences. She’s had 10+ partners, mostly casual experiences that I’ve simply not had. It’s not the fact that she’s had them, it’s that I have deep trouble that I cannot relate at all to those experiences. I am endlessly comparing myself to these guys that in her mind are meaningless compared to our loving and committed relationship, and I have awareness that that’s the case. My friends who have had similar flings have said the same, but I’ve just only ever known the one thing, and have only ever been emotionally connected to a partner.

I want to be the type of strong and confident partner where any of these guys come up, and we could both laugh it off. But trying to overcome my own past feelings of loneliness and a sheltered and religious upbringing have been very challenging. I am looking at my own history and believing that even my one partner did not find me attractive for a chunk of the time, and that I do not come close to relating to her sexual past. Even though all that matters is our sexual present.

Have you overcome something like this? Am I doomed to feel this way? Am I insane for having such a wonderful thing and still being so distraught? Looking for tough love from those who have experienced more than I.

Please help. I feel like I’m about to blow the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

I know this post happens here like all the time. And I’m sorry to contribute another one. I ask you to please give your man some grace here. If this sounds so silly I grew up in a religious environment and I am trying so hard to overcome this.

I (28M) have been dating my girlfriend (30F) for five months now. She is a beautiful woman who cares for me on a level I’ve never experienced. She loves how I look physically, and is an effective communicator. It’s everything I could ask for in a partner. This is someone I could 100% build a safe future with.

I’ve only had one sexual partner, a long term relationship that started in college and ended this year. It ended amicably, but towards the end she felt physically repelled by me for the last year or two. It was tough not to feel unwanted or unattractive.

When I started dating again, I was ready to try any experience, and the very first date I went on was this beautiful woman who really developed a deep connection with me very quickly. I lucked out on this! We knew something long term was the obvious choice.

Since then, our histories came up (I know the answer now is don’t ever talk about this and there’s no point) and we’ve had pretty opposite experiences. She’s had 10+ partners, mostly casual experiences that I’ve simply not had. It’s not the fact that she’s had them, it’s that I have deep trouble that I cannot relate at all to those experiences. I am endlessly comparing myself to these guys that in her mind are meaningless compared to our loving and committed relationship, and I have awareness that that’s the case. My friends who have had similar flings have said the same, but I’ve just only ever known the one thing, and have only ever been emotionally connected to a partner.

I want to be the type of strong and confident partner where any of these guys come up, and we could both laugh it off. But trying to overcome my own past feelings of loneliness and a sheltered and religious upbringing have been very challenging. I am looking at my own history and believing that even my one partner did not find me attractive for a chunk of the time, and that I do not come close to relating to her sexual past. Even though all that matters is our sexual present.

Have you overcome something like this? Am I doomed to feel this way? Am I insane for having such a wonderful thing and still being so distraught? Looking for tough love from those who have experienced more than I.