We have been together for 3 years and are running into bedroom issues. For the first year of our relationship things were pretty great- as in regular and there was chemistry.
But some things started to happen.
I started getting multiple UTIs back to back with my boyfriend. It was seriously about 20 of them the first year we were together. I’ve always been prone, but due to our anatomy it just makes them VERY COMMON. I hid them from him for awhile, until I had one so bad it landed me in the hospital and my doctor told me my kidneys were going to suffer if this happened again. I am not looking for uti advice, if someone tells me to wipe front to back, per after sex, or take cranberry pills again I’m gonna scream
At the time my boyfriend said he would happily be with me if I could never have sex again, we could always do other things, I’d find a doctor who could find a solution. I was worried it would change things and I’m afraid it has. Currently we haven’t had PIV sex for 6 months, I think both of us are too scared.
My boyfriend almost never initiates intimacy anymore, and he often rejects my advances. I hear a slew of reasoning from he has a headache, he is tired, his drive is lowering, he really wanted to but never approached me, he couldn’t tell if I was in the mood. It feels like there are so any obstacles in being intimate.
He use to find it hot when I was direct in my advances and now they bother him. If I ask if he wants to play, or try to be seductive he has closed off body language. Last week he snapped and said I come onto him in the ‘least appealing ways’. Directly asking or hinting turns him off now.
He wants it to happen naturally in a physical way. Kind of hard to when he acts closed off to things like kissing and petting often. I asked how I should go about this and he said ‘if we are cuddling and it happens naturally, then it does’.
While I may be fearful of PIV sex I love oral sex, anal, and about everything else you can think of. I still have a very high sex drive and enjoy giving and receiving- I’m very frustrated by my body and regularly feel like crying about this issue. It makes me feel like I’m not woman enough because having sex could be another week long hospital stay (my bacteria has grown very antibiotic resistant).
I don’t know what to do but now sex is a ‘bad’ topic. It’s wrapped up in him acting distant and me feeling like crap about myself. I feel like this sexual husk of a person that bothers him, I don’t feel wanted, and I feel like our relationship is headed for the bedroom graveyard.
He won’t admit it’s because of the lack of PIV, but I have my suspicions that’s it- or he views me as a sickly non-sexual being. He can never give me a straight answer he just says ‘idk’ and then has a different reason every time.
I just want him to try honestly, to go out of his comfort zone or to put equal effort into this area. But I feel like it’s such a back burner issue for him and I’m really stressed about the future for us.
Any help? It’s so hard to talk to him about it.
submitted by /u/Right-Edge-9476
[link] [comments]
r/sex We have been together for 3 years and are running into bedroom issues. For the first year of our relationship things were pretty great- as in regular and there was chemistry. But some things started to happen. I started getting multiple UTIs back to back with my boyfriend. It was seriously about 20 of them the first year we were together. I’ve always been prone, but due to our anatomy it just makes them VERY COMMON. I hid them from him for awhile, until I had one so bad it landed me in the hospital and my doctor told me my kidneys were going to suffer if this happened again. I am not looking for uti advice, if someone tells me to wipe front to back, per after sex, or take cranberry pills again I’m gonna scream At the time my boyfriend said he would happily be with me if I could never have sex again, we could always do other things, I’d find a doctor who could find a solution. I was worried it would change things and I’m afraid it has. Currently we haven’t had PIV sex for 6 months, I think both of us are too scared. My boyfriend almost never initiates intimacy anymore, and he often rejects my advances. I hear a slew of reasoning from he has a headache, he is tired, his drive is lowering, he really wanted to but never approached me, he couldn’t tell if I was in the mood. It feels like there are so any obstacles in being intimate. He use to find it hot when I was direct in my advances and now they bother him. If I ask if he wants to play, or try to be seductive he has closed off body language. Last week he snapped and said I come onto him in the ‘least appealing ways’. Directly asking or hinting turns him off now. He wants it to happen naturally in a physical way. Kind of hard to when he acts closed off to things like kissing and petting often. I asked how I should go about this and he said ‘if we are cuddling and it happens naturally, then it does’. While I may be fearful of PIV sex I love oral sex, anal, and about everything else you can think of. I still have a very high sex drive and enjoy giving and receiving- I’m very frustrated by my body and regularly feel like crying about this issue. It makes me feel like I’m not woman enough because having sex could be another week long hospital stay (my bacteria has grown very antibiotic resistant). I don’t know what to do but now sex is a ‘bad’ topic. It’s wrapped up in him acting distant and me feeling like crap about myself. I feel like this sexual husk of a person that bothers him, I don’t feel wanted, and I feel like our relationship is headed for the bedroom graveyard. He won’t admit it’s because of the lack of PIV, but I have my suspicions that’s it- or he views me as a sickly non-sexual being. He can never give me a straight answer he just says ‘idk’ and then has a different reason every time. I just want him to try honestly, to go out of his comfort zone or to put equal effort into this area. But I feel like it’s such a back burner issue for him and I’m really stressed about the future for us. Any help? It’s so hard to talk to him about it. submitted by /u/Right-Edge-9476 [link] [comments]
We have been together for 3 years and are running into bedroom issues. For the first year of our relationship things were pretty great- as in regular and there was chemistry.
But some things started to happen.
I started getting multiple UTIs back to back with my boyfriend. It was seriously about 20 of them the first year we were together. I’ve always been prone, but due to our anatomy it just makes them VERY COMMON. I hid them from him for awhile, until I had one so bad it landed me in the hospital and my doctor told me my kidneys were going to suffer if this happened again. I am not looking for uti advice, if someone tells me to wipe front to back, per after sex, or take cranberry pills again I’m gonna scream
At the time my boyfriend said he would happily be with me if I could never have sex again, we could always do other things, I’d find a doctor who could find a solution. I was worried it would change things and I’m afraid it has. Currently we haven’t had PIV sex for 6 months, I think both of us are too scared.
My boyfriend almost never initiates intimacy anymore, and he often rejects my advances. I hear a slew of reasoning from he has a headache, he is tired, his drive is lowering, he really wanted to but never approached me, he couldn’t tell if I was in the mood. It feels like there are so any obstacles in being intimate.
He use to find it hot when I was direct in my advances and now they bother him. If I ask if he wants to play, or try to be seductive he has closed off body language. Last week he snapped and said I come onto him in the ‘least appealing ways’. Directly asking or hinting turns him off now.
He wants it to happen naturally in a physical way. Kind of hard to when he acts closed off to things like kissing and petting often. I asked how I should go about this and he said ‘if we are cuddling and it happens naturally, then it does’.
While I may be fearful of PIV sex I love oral sex, anal, and about everything else you can think of. I still have a very high sex drive and enjoy giving and receiving- I’m very frustrated by my body and regularly feel like crying about this issue. It makes me feel like I’m not woman enough because having sex could be another week long hospital stay (my bacteria has grown very antibiotic resistant).
I don’t know what to do but now sex is a ‘bad’ topic. It’s wrapped up in him acting distant and me feeling like crap about myself. I feel like this sexual husk of a person that bothers him, I don’t feel wanted, and I feel like our relationship is headed for the bedroom graveyard.
He won’t admit it’s because of the lack of PIV, but I have my suspicions that’s it- or he views me as a sickly non-sexual being. He can never give me a straight answer he just says ‘idk’ and then has a different reason every time.
I just want him to try honestly, to go out of his comfort zone or to put equal effort into this area. But I feel like it’s such a back burner issue for him and I’m really stressed about the future for us.
Any help? It’s so hard to talk to him about it.
submitted by /u/Right-Edge-9476
[link] [comments]