Am I supposed to always be willing to have sex as a male? [M22] /u/MisanthropicBurrito Sex

I am 22. My girlfriend [22] is apparently used to men being horny whenever there is any opportunity. She said she doesn’t understand how there can be a naked horny woman lying in bed in front of me and feel no urge to fuck her. She doesn’t understand me and feels unwanted.

On one hand I feel sexualized. I don’t want to be reduced to an object of sexual satisfaction. I’m not going to force myself. Although I have tried in the past and about half of the time it results in me not being able to get an erection at all and she feels even more unwanted.

But on the other hand maybe it is a problem with me after all? It hurts on a pretty deep level – I feel like I am fundamentally failing as a man and as a human at the single task my body has been specifically engineered to perform over millions of years of evolution. It’s a lot of shame for one person to feel. I feel an obligation to satisfy my woman sexually, maybe that’s normal. Sex is becoming more and more of a burden over time, that’s probably not normal.

I should probably ask my therapist about it once I overcome the shame.

Sex is more often a source of frustration for both of us rather than satisfaction. I feel like if we were both asexual, we would be much happier together. And I plan to spend the whole life with this woman. It would be very sad to either separate or spend it all together unhappily.

Is this a problem with me? Is it a problem for me to fix, or is this normal and the problem is her unrealistic expectations?

I just want us to be happy

I am 22. My girlfriend [22] is apparently used to men being horny whenever there is any opportunity. She said she doesn’t understand how there can be a naked horny woman lying in bed in front of me and feel no urge to fuck her. She doesn’t understand me and feels unwanted.

On one hand I feel sexualized. I don’t want to be reduced to an object of sexual satisfaction. I’m not going to force myself. Although I have tried in the past and about half of the time it results in me not being able to get an erection at all and she feels even more unwanted.

But on the other hand maybe it is a problem with me after all? It hurts on a pretty deep level – I feel like I am fundamentally failing as a man and as a human at the single task my body has been specifically engineered to perform over millions of years of evolution. It’s a lot of shame for one person to feel. I feel an obligation to satisfy my woman sexually, maybe that’s normal. Sex is becoming more and more of a burden over time, that’s probably not normal.

I should probably ask my therapist about it once I overcome the shame.

Sex is more often a source of frustration for both of us rather than satisfaction. I feel like if we were both asexual, we would be much happier together. And I plan to spend the whole life with this woman. It would be very sad to either separate or spend it all together unhappily.

Is this a problem with me? Is it a problem for me to fix, or is this normal and the problem is her unrealistic expectations?

I just want us to be happy