How do I stop thinking about sex with my ex-gf? She was my first. 23M /u/michaelmanal Sex

She dumped me (4 year relationship) and even so she was still sexually attracted to me. She really fucked me up as it does turn me on a lot thinking about how we made out in the car and also had phone sex after the breakup happened. The phone sex we had some time after that was particularly hot and very kinky about how she was naughty for leaving me and how she would be jealous if I rearranged someone else’s guts.

Also beating myself up for not having sex with her in the car but she was being a little unsure and said she was late to get back to her sister and I didn’t want to seem like a poor sport if she wanted to go.

Also it’s not easy for me to date. So any solutions besides getting a new one is preferred. I have been trying to use porn but it just goes back to me thinking about how the two people fucking could have been me and her.

I don’t think it’s about how much I loved her as I don’t feel much about that, anyway she’s dating someone else now. But I’m horny as fuck thinking about how I could have fucked her that day after the breakup, and potentially how I could have kept her.

I don’t want to jerk off to her or be horny by it. But I can’t stop but associating my horniness with those two sexual events after the breakup. But I know that after I do the deed, I feel a momentary post nut clarity but then I experience an attachment to her afterwards, and I don’t want to feel like I’m sexually clinging to someone who obviously made the decision to leave me already and never took it back. Another reason why I’m clinging to this is that it is very sexually validating, that she didn’t leave me because of the sex.

She dumped me (4 year relationship) and even so she was still sexually attracted to me. She really fucked me up as it does turn me on a lot thinking about how we made out in the car and also had phone sex after the breakup happened. The phone sex we had some time after that was particularly hot and very kinky about how she was naughty for leaving me and how she would be jealous if I rearranged someone else’s guts.

Also beating myself up for not having sex with her in the car but she was being a little unsure and said she was late to get back to her sister and I didn’t want to seem like a poor sport if she wanted to go.

Also it’s not easy for me to date. So any solutions besides getting a new one is preferred. I have been trying to use porn but it just goes back to me thinking about how the two people fucking could have been me and her.

I don’t think it’s about how much I loved her as I don’t feel much about that, anyway she’s dating someone else now. But I’m horny as fuck thinking about how I could have fucked her that day after the breakup, and potentially how I could have kept her.

I don’t want to jerk off to her or be horny by it. But I can’t stop but associating my horniness with those two sexual events after the breakup. But I know that after I do the deed, I feel a momentary post nut clarity but then I experience an attachment to her afterwards, and I don’t want to feel like I’m sexually clinging to someone who obviously made the decision to leave me already and never took it back. Another reason why I’m clinging to this is that it is very sexually validating, that she didn’t leave me because of the sex.