I rewatched The Return of Chef and I want to cry /u/PowerOfL South Park

When I was a kid, I wasn’t that familiar with modern South Park.

I was familiar with season 7 onwards, as that was what would be airing on Comedy Central, but I honestly hadn’t seen much of 1-6 until last year.

I had watched Cartman Gets An Anal Probe and the movie, so that was about it.

Since Chef didn’t play a major role in most episodes I watched as a kid, I just wasn’t that attached to him.

I didn’t even know about the “I’m gonna make love to you woman” song, so changing it to “I’m gonna make love to your assholes, children” didn’t even strike me as weird.

Watching this episode after finally having seen all his past appearances hurts (well kinda, i sorta skipped the Walmart episode, sorry i’ll watch it at some point).

It just really breaks my heart, everyone loved Chef so much, especially the boys.

The part where Stan says “Chef, we love you” absolutely breaks my heart. Probably the most heartbreaking line in the entire show.

The funeral also hurts me, especially Kyle’s last line. If you don’t remember, his last line isn’t the one about “a fruity little club scrambling his brains”.

He basically says that he feels Chef’s still alive somewhere, in all of us, in all the people’s lives he’s touched.

Of course this is supposed to be ironic, given Darth Chef, but still genuinely beautiful.

I also think this episode recontextualizes Chef’s final proper speaking role (as in, recorded by Isaac Hayes instead of using archival audio), Die, Hippie, Die.

Specifically two parts in that episode.

Firstly, before going to face the hippies and save the boys, Chef says goodbye to two attractive women.

Secondly, the last original Chef line we got from Isaac Hayes was “I’m alive!”.

Just genuinely so heartbreaking.

To be honest, I do have two ideas in my head of how they could’ve kept Chef alive but still written him out of the show.

My first idea has, like, the boys drag him away to the asylum.

Hard cut to Chef in the asylum singing a fucked up version of “I’m gonna make love to you, woman”, but like, about children (not writing that lol).

My second idea would feature Mephesto.

The Return of Chef is actually kind of a big reference to Cartman Joins Nambla.

That episode has two NAMBLAs, the North American Man Boy Love Association and the North American Marlon Brando Lookalikes.

Mephesto is confused as a pedophile, because of how the acronyms are the same.

The Return of Chef has The Adventure Club, a club that goes around the world adventuring, and The Super Adventure Club, basically the same thing as Nambla.

I think, given that the episode is retiring such a classic, beloved character, and in some ways is even celebrating him (like, it’s basically all about how mu”h the boys love him), it’d be a nice way to give Mephesto one last major role before 200 & 201.

Basically, I’d have the boys visit Mephesto before that therapist.

Mephesto says that he’d be glad to help Chef, as he’s helped him many times before, but it’d take a lot of time.

The boys don’t want to wait, so Mephesto gives them all baseball bats.

This way, they can knock out Chef and bring him back to Mephesto in the end.

Mephesto talks about how he can cure him, it’ll just take time.

“Oh, maybe he’ll come back to his senses in a year or two. Maybe he never will. But I’ll work on bringing him back forever. I don’t care how many hours I have to spend my actually alive child, I’ll bring him back. Even if it takes, I don’t know, 500 more episodes?”

Both versions would end with the boys in the school cafeteria, only Mr Derp’s there this time. It’d end with them crying.

Than, like, I dunno a montage of Chef’s best moments plays over the credits while a medley of Chef songs plays.

I miss him so fucking much

When I was a kid, I wasn’t that familiar with modern South Park.

I was familiar with season 7 onwards, as that was what would be airing on Comedy Central, but I honestly hadn’t seen much of 1-6 until last year.

I had watched Cartman Gets An Anal Probe and the movie, so that was about it.

Since Chef didn’t play a major role in most episodes I watched as a kid, I just wasn’t that attached to him.

I didn’t even know about the “I’m gonna make love to you woman” song, so changing it to “I’m gonna make love to your assholes, children” didn’t even strike me as weird.

Watching this episode after finally having seen all his past appearances hurts (well kinda, i sorta skipped the Walmart episode, sorry i’ll watch it at some point).

It just really breaks my heart, everyone loved Chef so much, especially the boys.

The part where Stan says “Chef, we love you” absolutely breaks my heart. Probably the most heartbreaking line in the entire show.

The funeral also hurts me, especially Kyle’s last line. If you don’t remember, his last line isn’t the one about “a fruity little club scrambling his brains”.

He basically says that he feels Chef’s still alive somewhere, in all of us, in all the people’s lives he’s touched.

Of course this is supposed to be ironic, given Darth Chef, but still genuinely beautiful.

I also think this episode recontextualizes Chef’s final proper speaking role (as in, recorded by Isaac Hayes instead of using archival audio), Die, Hippie, Die.

Specifically two parts in that episode.

Firstly, before going to face the hippies and save the boys, Chef says goodbye to two attractive women.

Secondly, the last original Chef line we got from Isaac Hayes was “I’m alive!”.

Just genuinely so heartbreaking.

To be honest, I do have two ideas in my head of how they could’ve kept Chef alive but still written him out of the show.

My first idea has, like, the boys drag him away to the asylum.

Hard cut to Chef in the asylum singing a fucked up version of “I’m gonna make love to you, woman”, but like, about children (not writing that lol).

My second idea would feature Mephesto.

The Return of Chef is actually kind of a big reference to Cartman Joins Nambla.

That episode has two NAMBLAs, the North American Man Boy Love Association and the North American Marlon Brando Lookalikes.

Mephesto is confused as a pedophile, because of how the acronyms are the same.

The Return of Chef has The Adventure Club, a club that goes around the world adventuring, and The Super Adventure Club, basically the same thing as Nambla.

I think, given that the episode is retiring such a classic, beloved character, and in some ways is even celebrating him (like, it’s basically all about how mu”h the boys love him), it’d be a nice way to give Mephesto one last major role before 200 & 201.

Basically, I’d have the boys visit Mephesto before that therapist.

Mephesto says that he’d be glad to help Chef, as he’s helped him many times before, but it’d take a lot of time.

The boys don’t want to wait, so Mephesto gives them all baseball bats.

This way, they can knock out Chef and bring him back to Mephesto in the end.

Mephesto talks about how he can cure him, it’ll just take time.

“Oh, maybe he’ll come back to his senses in a year or two. Maybe he never will. But I’ll work on bringing him back forever. I don’t care how many hours I have to spend my actually alive child, I’ll bring him back. Even if it takes, I don’t know, 500 more episodes?”

Both versions would end with the boys in the school cafeteria, only Mr Derp’s there this time. It’d end with them crying.

Than, like, I dunno a montage of Chef’s best moments plays over the credits while a medley of Chef songs plays.

I miss him so fucking much